On episode 32, we have a special episode where we finish two pregnancy stories. First, we have Stefanie from Prosper, Texas who is a consultant for a skin care company. She and her husband have a seven year old daughter, a three year old son, and a 3 month old son she had at 40. Second, we have Jackie from Bowling Green, Kentucky who is a licensed professional clinical councilor with a private practice that specializes in trauma. Her husband is a stay-at-home dad with their four boys and six month old daughter she also had 40.
Stefanie’s Pregnancy Story at 40
Stefanie was 22 weeks along when she shared the first half of her pregnancy on episode 2.
She just had her 40th birthday. She thought she was having perimenopause symptoms. She felt tired all the time, thirsty and started gaining weight in her midsection, she recalls. She made an appointment with her OB to get her thyroid and other hormones checked. Then she started feeling what she thought was gas bubbles. But realized it was more than gas bubbles. She decided to take a pregnancy test to rule it out. It was immediately positive. She happened to have five tests at home. All of them were positive. She said she was flipping out because she didn’t even think she could get pregnant because she did two rounds of IVF to get pregnant with her second son. Being pregnant was the last thing on her mind.
When she called to make an appointment with the doctor, they weren’t sure the doctor would accept her. The doctor requires patients be seen before 12-14 weeks. She wasn’t sure how far along she was because she stopped tracking it. After she told them when her last cycle was, the woman on the phone calculated she was 18 weeks along. She repeated it back to the woman, she couldn’t believe it. She was having a hard time processing it. She called several other doctors as a backup plan. They all said she was too far along to be seen. She felt lucky when the staff from her doctor called her back to schedule an appointment for the next day. The appointment confirmed she was 18 weeks along and she found out the gender.
We laughed about it…it’s funny. We’re 40 and it was a complete surprise and shock but in the best way possible.
Stefanie found out she was pregnant at 18 weeks, so the second half is really all she knows. It was great, she says. She and her husband laughed about it. She leaned on her faith to help her through the shock. She didn’t have any sickness or any trouble. She worked out until the end of her pregnancy. To prepare, she worked out often because she knew that was good for her and the baby. She didn’t take any classes to prepare for her third child. There was some shuffling to do at home with the bedrooms. Her now middle son was still in the nursery downstairs close to her. They moved him upstairs with their daughter and prepped the nursery for the baby. She wanted to be sensitive to the transition and get him settled. She had to get most of their baby stuff because she got rid of a lot after her second son. She thought they were done.
You say you’re 40, but that’s not the end. Our bodies can still do this.
Stefanie was scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks. She got an epidural for pain relief. She describes the labor and birth as great and smooth. This one took a little longer than her first two. They had to rotate her to get him to come down a little bit. She had low blood pressure and almost passed out. She would only feel like she would pass out in certain positions, though. The baby needed to come down into position better, so she would switch from laying on her left side to the right. Afterwards, the contractions became intense, and Stefanie and the nurses knew the baby was coming quickly. The nurse pushed her legs together and said she needed to wait. The doctor made it just in time to catch the baby. From the time her doctor broke her water to the time her son was in her arms was four hours.
She describes her recovery as good. This being her third child, she forgot how painful the healing process is for her. It was rough, even going to restroom was painful. Her back was hurting for a day or two from where the epidural was. After she got home, things were better. Her body was exhausted, but she thinks her exercise helped with the recovery and her energy. She is breastfeeding and it’s going ok. He’s a little different than her first two. He’s had some tummy issues; he’s fussier and spits up a lot. The doctor recommended a non-diary diet. Her favorite food is queso, so it’s been a hard thing to give up for her. She was told it would take about three weeks for the dairy to get out of her system and see if it makes things better. She’s good but tired. She’s ready to get to the phase where she can get a little more sleep.
Jackie’s Pregnancy Story at 40
Jackie was 35 weeks along when she recorded episode 8.
Her pregnancy went pretty well. She said she was really starting to feel it there at the end. She was more sore than previous pregnancies. Her back was hurting quite a bit, and her feet hurt. She assumed the pain was because she was five years older than when she was pregnant the last time.
Jackie’s last birth at 35 was unmedicated because her labor was only two and half hours, so she didn’t have time for pain relief. This time she was preparing for another unmedicated birth just in case it happened as quickly. In fact, she was preparing for birth at home or in the car in case they didn’t make it to the hospital. Each birth was getting shorter for the next child. She knew birth was going to happen quickly, but she didn’t think it was going to happen so early. She made her husband watch babies being born in cars just in case. She had planned to go on maternity leave at 38 weeks, but she was seeing clients the day before labor started. This is Jackie’s 5th baby, but the first one to actually have a nursery. They moved into a new house because they had outgrown the previous one. She was intent to have the nursery ready. She was so excited; everything was ready for a few months before. She had cravings to crunch ice during pregnancy. Now that her daughter is a few months old, the craving completely went away.
She had been having Braxton Hicks contractions a week before. At 37 weeks, the real ones came. She knew it because they made her stand up. This afternoon, she was home by herself with her boys watching a Disney movie. A friend that was close by texted to check on her. Her friend came over when she responded she’d been having contractions. She stayed with Jackie for a few hours until her husband came home. The contractions were getting stronger. Jackie was very nervous from the trauma from the last birth, so she wanted to go to the hospital.
When she got to the hospital, she was only 3 cm dilated. The hospital didn’t have many patients in labor and delivery. The contractions weren’t strong enough or consistent to be active labor. The student doctor providing care for her didn’t want to send her home, so she let Jackie stay overnight to be monitored. Her doctor was going to be back in the morning. She felt like the student doctor advocated for her. She received an epidural earlier in the night. About 30 minutes after getting the epidural, labor and delivery was full of women in active labor. It was so full, there were beds with women in the hallway. It was a full moon that night, but throughout the night contractions were really slow. Nothing consistent. The power went out for about twenty minutes that night too, so the staff didn’t have access to a computer. Jackie had her epidural, so she wasn’t stressed. She also had an ultrasound that night to check on the baby. The tech didn’t have many other patients, so they spent about half an hour just looking at the baby and enjoying it. The rest of the night came and went with no progression. By morning, she was only between 4 and 5 cm dilated.
The next morning her doctor checked with little progress. He suggested breaking her water to induce labor, but nothing happened. She tried a peanut ball between her legs where she would lay on her side for about 15 minutes and then rotate to the other. After an hour, active labor kicked in. She called it magical how quickly it got things moving. She went from 7 cm to 9 cm in less than an hour. She had been at the hospital for 19 hours by this time. The nurse came in to check and she was ready to push. Suddenly there were 8 or 9 people in the room, many of them students. She felt more comfortable with the people in the room. She found herself being chattier which was a nice distraction.
For the delivery, it was her doctor, a few student doctors, and a few nurses. She only pushed two times. The students caught the baby. She immediately held her baby in her arms for skin to skin which she asked for. Jackie wanted to immediately nurse her. She had her for the first 2.5-3 hours. Her baby’s lungs were ready even though she was early. This was by far her longest birth. The student nurse performed the episiotomy which was a little uncomfortable. It just took a long time.
Jackie was determined to have her baby latch naturally. She let her baby find her way to the nipple and she did. The first few times she nursed were great. Her milk came in pretty soon. She felt like things were going ok. They found out at the hospital that she probably has a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie. Then, she couldn’t nurse without tears in her eyes because she knew it was going to be so painful. To give herself a break, she would pump and let her husband give her a bottle. Nursing was pretty rough this time which is no different than any of her other kids. She saw a lactation consultant a few times a week because she was pretty small, and she wasn’t gaining a lot of weight. The lactation consultant referred them to a chiropractor for craniosacral therapy. They went back and forth to the lactation consultant and the chiropractor, and they did all they could do. She would need a frenectomy to make things any better. They went to Lexington for the procedure that took all of three minutes she said. That doctor also found a cheek tie as well. The three ties caused damaged to her nipple. It was a rough three-week process. Following the procedure, it required them to do do stretches every 4 hours around the clock for about six weeks. If the stretches are done well enough, the tie could grow back. It was hard for Jackie because it was painful for the baby. It was heartbreaking for her. Everything isn’t perfect, but she can’t put her baby through that again. She’s getting fed and she’s gaining weight and that’s what is important.
Resources:
The first half of Stefanie’s Pregnancy story at 40
The first half of Jackie’s Pregnancy story at 40
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