On this special episode 19, we have three women sharing their story: Caroline was pregnant at 40 and 41 with her son and daughter. Donna was 42 with her daughter, and Annabelle was 45 with her second son. What is also unique about this show are these women were pregnant 5, 15, and 23 years ago.
Caroline’s Pregnancy at 40 and 41 with Her Son and Daughter
Caroline had a son that she gave birth to when she was 29 years old. Afterwards, she had tried for years, but gave up hope for more children. She says she just stopped thinking about it. When she was 40, she was at the doctor for her yearly annual exam when the doctor asked her, “You know you’re pregnant, right.” She was in such shock and disbelief; she told them to run the test for a second time. She was so happy she was pregnant, she wanted to tell everyone in the doctor’s office.
Don’t worry about the weight gain so much. You miss a lot of really great moments because you’re worried about your waddle.
At 40, she says it took forever to get that bump! She was so happy, she wanted to show that she was pregnant. She loved being pregnant. She had a placenta tear at 19 weeks which put her on strict bed rest for 2 weeks. Once it healed, she was off bedrest but couldn’t lift anything more than a can of soup. She was high risk with the standard additional doctor’s appointment.
She did find out the sex of the baby during the high-risk appointments. She says the technology was incredibly clear, there was no way they couldn’t find out.
Her oldest son was eleven when she was put on bedrest for the last half of her pregnancy. It put all the workload on her husband. They decided to get someone to clean the house during this time. She highly recommends this if you can afford the help. She says it was something they had to do for the last half of the pregnancy.
She took a birth class this time around, but she didn’t get much out of it. She says she was consumed with being pregnant, and there’s online information readily available.
Caroline says she was in the best of shape for this pregnancy. She loves walking to move her body.
Of her three pregnancies, this one was the only one she had cravings and morning sickness with. She always made sure to have some ginger or ginger ale on hand to help calm the nausea. She craved spicy food. She remembers the day before she found out she was pregnant she was eating chicken with so much Cholula hot sauce, it was dripping down her arm. Later she ate jalapenos out of the jar. She says she couldn’t get enough spicy food during her first trimester. She calls her daughter a spitfire which might have something to do with it.
She was on bedrest when her water broke in the middle of the night. They went to the hospital and her daughter was born about 6 hours later and was uneventful she explains.
How am I this fertile at 40?!
Caroline says her recovery was fine through a laugh. She says she didn’t let her body heal before she sent it right back into pregnancy! She was three months postpartum when she found out she was pregnant with their third. She said it shocked her so much, she had to take a walk around the block. Both of her pregnancies were lovely surprises.
Her third pregnancy was high risk again because of her age and because it was so quickly after she had given birth. The umbilical cord also only had 2 vessels. It was missing the artery she explains. She says this is a possible side effect of being over 40, but the growth of the baby was normal.
She found out the sex of the baby during the high-risk appointments the same as the last time. Technology can’t hide much anymore.
She says she had to have a body pillow or at least extra pillows during pregnancy. What she couldn’t live without were compression socks. She says her feet got huge with her first son that she couldn’t get her shoes on the last few weeks of pregnancy. For her last two pregnancies in her 40’s, she wore compression socks all the time and never had a problem! She recommends Sock Well for cute compression socks.
Caroline’s birth plan was to have as little drugs as possible and really wanted to avoid a C-section. She was worried about creating such detailed birth plan that it would prevent her from adapting to a different situation.
At 41, Caroline was having high blood pressure and because of the cord, they induced her at 38 weeks. She agreed to an epidural since this was her only induced labor. She wanted just enough pain management to take the edge off. It was important to her to be able to move her legs. She remembers barking at her husband to go get the nurse because something wasn’t right. The nursed popped in and out to bring back the whole team including her doctor. The doctor said she had her running back from the parking lot. Her son was born in 2 hours!
She says it was harder than her first two recoveries. She says it’s chaotic. It’s tiring and no one can prepare you for it. It’s a bottle rolled under the crib. It’s a dirty diaper left on the floor. It’s laundry that needs to be done. She says ‘they’ say sleep when the baby sleeps but when are things going to get cleaned? She says make sure your baby is fed, safe and clean and let the world be chaotic around you. Life is back to basics for awhile. She says she was so tired, there are things she actually can’t remember.
Donna’s Pregnancy at 42 with Her Daughter
This is Donna’s journey to motherhood. She had trouble conceiving, she had cysts and fibroids. She stopped taking birth control at 38 ½ when she wanted to start a family. While they were trying, she said they had 10 negative pregnancy tests. Emotionally, it was a difficult time for her. At 42, it was her husband that noticed her cycle was late, but it wasn’t consistent, so she didn’t think anything of it. Her husband insisted she use the last pregnancy test in the house. It immediately turned up positive, but she couldn’t get any words out. She was in such shock, she assumed it was a false positive like maybe the test was expired. She even brought the test with her to the doctor to make sure it was real.
When you wanted something for so long… I’m like just forget it. I gave up.
Donna says pregnancy started off odd because she was sleepy all the time. She didn’t understand what it was. She has an underactive thyroid but takes medication for it, so normally she’s ok. She remembers before finding out she was pregnant, taking a disco nap at her desk and her co-workers asking her if she was ok. She says her whole department knew she was pregnant before her!
She says it was a mentally hard for her. She worried how old she was going to be when her daughter was older. Once she was able to retrain her brain, she enjoyed pregnancy and had fun!
She ate a lot of fast food during her pregnancy. She wished she had a better diet and took care of herself better. She doesn’t think she did enough selfcare. She wishes she started eating better and exercising 6 months before she found out she was pregnant.
You have to fight for your kids, even from the womb.
At 20 weeks, after the blood test for the genetic testing, Donna got a call from the lab. The lab tech happily stated her baby had a high probability of down syndrome and wanted to suggest an amniocentesis test. The tech confirmed it was a high-risk procedure but went on to say it might be worth knowing in case you want to have an abortion and insisted she schedule it that minute. She didn’t know what to do. After consulting with friends, her husband, and her doctor, she decided not to do it if it put her at more risk. Her doctor called her baby ‘the pregnancy’ and pushed her to take the test she declined. She worked at that hospital and didn’t know where else do go. It became a struggle for her to stay positive. Later on, after her birth, they casually told her it was a false positive. Her daughter is 15 years old now and healthy.
At her 34-week appointment, the staff were moving around a lot, but no one was talking to her. She was seeing people she hadn’t seen before. She was so confused when they put in an IV and told her she was going to labor and delivery. She thought the baby was kicking, when in fact the baby wasn’t breathing during contractions, and 14 pounds wasn’t enough weight gain to keep the baby healthy. They told her it was safer to take the baby and feed her from the outside.
Donna has a low pain tolerance but didn’t get a chance for birth options. She knew she wanted a vaginal birth. She says she has a curse of a nurse that worries about something happening…
Before they induced her, they gave her steroids to build up her baby’s lung strength to make it through the birth canal. After some time, they decided it was best for Donna to go home, rest and scheduled a C-section a week later. They estimated the baby was only a little over three pounds and didn’t think she would be heavy enough to push through for a vaginal birth.
With a C-section, Donna’s daughter was born 5 weeks and 4 days early. She was 3.25 pounds and 15.25 inches long. She spent the first 21 days of her life in the NICU. She was also jaundice, so Donna had a hard time seeing her little face in the incubator. Donna was discharged from the hospital, but they went back and forth to Manhattan from Brooklyn every day to see and nurse her. She says the first three weeks were tough. She couldn’t wait to get her home! She calls her daughter a miracle baby.
Donna says her recovery was long. She assumed she would be going back to work a lot sooner, but she fortunately took out some short-term disability insurance. She was out of work in February and didn’t go back till July. Recovering from the C-section was hard for her. They were staying at a family member’s house because they were trying to get construction finished before the baby came home. She says the 30 flights of stairs were difficult after the C-section. She says it took her 3-4 months before she felt like herself again.
Breastfeeding was very challenging for her. She says she didn’t produce a lot because she was a preemie and had challenges with her sucking reflex. Pumping didn’t help. Her goal was to breastfeed for a year, but she didn’t make it past 6 months.
Donna believes she had postpartum depression, but she kept checking the boxes at her appointments that she was fine. Looking back, she says she should have asked for help. She was so used to being organized. With the new baby, she says she was very overwhelmed and didn’t know how to fit her baby into her old life. She says she faked it and smiled through a lot of it to get by.
Annabelle’s Pregnancy at 45 with Her Second Son
Annabelle had a son she gave birth to at 25 years old. With him off to college, her now husband didn’t think he wanted kids, so they weren’t trying. At 45, she noticed changes in her cycle, but her doctor couldn’t confirm if she was starting menopause. She said she wasn’t even ovulating but knew there was a different feeling with her body. The pregnancy test was positive, and they were both shocked and giddy she recalls.
She describes her pregnancy as ‘really normal.’ At 25, she had only gained 18 pounds with her first son, but at 45, she gained 50 pounds. She says back then, they did an amniocentesis test to check the baby and that’s when she found out they were having another boy. To prepare for birth, she took classes the hospital offered. Even though, this was her second, after twenty years, she said things had changed. The biggest difference between the two pregnancies, she says was the weight gain. She had high blood pressure at the end that didn’t make her feel well. She was lucky to not have any morning sickness this time around.
Annabelle didn’t use anything to help her with pregnancy, although she did take a prenatal vitamin. Once she saw those 2 pink lines, she quit smoking. The urges were challenging for her. She says she ate pears when she had the urges, so she always had 5-6 pears with her.
I had such a relief from the pain afterwards, but the pain came back.
She went in for one of her weekly appointments. She told the doctor she was emotionally having a hard time. He stripped her membrane to start labor, and she went to the hospital to be induced. She called it an elaborate delivery. She feared the epidural but talked herself into it. She recalls having such a relief from the pain afterwards, but the pain came back. She labored through the night for 15 hours with a vaginal birth at 5 am.
Annabelle says she had sleep deprivation because of her age. The doctor told her higher blood pressure would make recovery longer. Her and her husband developed a plan, so she could go to bed early and wake up for the 3 am feedings. She breastfed for about 6 weeks, but she stopped because she developed mastitis. Her son was a bottled baby and did fine, he’s a healthy 22 year old today.
Here are the topics we discuss in this episode:
- Miscarriage
- Infertility
- High-risk specialist
- Weight gain
- Placenta tear
- C-sections
- Birth recovery
- Postpartum depression
- Breastfeeding
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