On episode 74, Claire is a mom of three from the UK. When her third child arrived at 43, she had three children under the age of four. Her third child was two years old during the recording of the show. When Claire was single, she didn’t know if she wanted kids, but she thinks meeting the right person sparked the desire. Claire’s sister had twin girls and bonding with them started those maternal juice flowing.
Her pregnancy journey started at 39 when she had been with her boyfriend (now husband) for only eight months. She called it an accident. They knew how they felt about each other, and they both wanted children. They were just being a bit casual, coy, and wasn’t taking the leap to talk about it as she describes it. They weren’t being cautious and Claire became pregnant. Her first pregnancy, Claire had minor complications by having gestational diabetes and was on blood thinners to prevent another blood clot. It surprised her because she was a yoga instructor and incredibly fit at the time. She didn’t understand how she could have gestational diabetes and was upset her body wasn’t perfect. In the end, it turned out to be just a nuisance, and she lost a bit of weight. She had an epidural during labor, and the baby arrived healthy. It was the most amazing experience. She was a pretty good baby. Claire breastfed for a year which meant she was incredibly exhausted.
When Claire was 40 and her daughter was a year old, her daughter was still waking up every two hours to be breastfed. It was winter and she had the sniffles, so she needed more breast milk. Claire was so exhausted. She was so tired and just didn’t feel good. Something just didn’t feel right and she was two weeks late on her cycle. She was surprised she was able to get pregnant. The doctor confirmed at seven weeks she was pregnant again. A week later, she sat with her husband at a restaurant while she told him she wasn’t sure the pregnancy was going to happen. She didn’t have a good feeling about it. Over the course of the next two weeks, she had a bit of spotting. Her morning sickness stopped and something still didn’t feel right. She went in for another scan and that’s when they said the baby had stopped growing two weeks ago. The doctor recommended a D&C or she could miscarry naturally. She was scheduled for the operation, but the miscarriage started a few days later. She expected a heavy period, but she says it’s so much more than that. It was a massive experience that nobody will ever be able to understanding unless you have been through it. She believes she was losing too much blood because of the blood thinners. Her husband called an ambulance because she couldn’t leave the toilet, there was so much blood. She remembers she tried to be stoic and strong because she was in a vulnerable situation in the hospital. She held herself together and kept telling herself that it’s okay because she already had one baby. Afterwards, she saw a postcard in a window that said womb healing and that was just what she needed. Claire had her first session a few months later because she felt disconnected from her body. She was asked to put her hand on her womb at the beginning of the healing, and it just felt jarring to her at first. She started to realize how amazing she was and started to have more sympathy for her body than frustration.
Claire wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant again, she says she was just having a good time with her husband. Claire heard the best window to get pregnant after a miscarriage is within 6 months. She conceived literally on the sixth month following the miscarriage. She was definitely getting a bit more sleep. She had some fun weekends with friends. They had a lovely summer but was not trying to get pregnant. She believes meditation helped her. She had gestational diabetes and injected herself with blood thinners again, but there were no complications. She had an epidural with a vaginal birth again. They gave her so much medication that she was sitting there with an iPad, bored. She felt like she was cheating the process. She looked at the midwife and told her the baby was coming. She opened her legs and her son slid out.
After two babies, Claire didn’t feel satisfied, but she really wanted to feel satisfied with her two children. She gave away everything baby-related as soon as her second was old enough. Her second child was a really different baby compared to her first baby. He screamed a lot and was unhappy. She told herself this was it. Her husband was scheduled to have a vasectomy, but it was canceled due to the 2020 circumstances. Her second baby was eight months old, and she was incredibly exhausted. She has no idea when they managed to have sex in that time. She was trying to put on a pair of jeans, but she couldn’t do the top button. She thought it was a bit weird that she had put on weight. She knew she could fit into the jeans a few weeks ago. Her mother told her she was looking a bit round and asked if she was pregnant. Claire insisted she wasn’t pregnant, but she felt sick all the time. Claire called the doctor and told him what she told her mother, and he prescribed something for indigestion. A week later, Claire’s mother called and begged her to take a pregnancy test. Claire told her she had to have sex to get pregnant and she definitely hasn’t. She guesses there was a random night she had some wine because she was speechless when she saw the positive test results. She just stood there staring at it. She was also annoyed that her mother was right. The signs were there the whole time, but it was denial. She was 12 weeks pregnant.
Claire went back to her womb healer to confess she was having a tough time getting her head around this pregnancy. At this session, she made Claire lie down, close her eyes, relax and put her hands on her stomach. She immediately felt love. She cruised through that pregnancy, but she was busy with a two-year old and a baby. She doesn’t think pregnancy is easy, and it’s hard work. There was a nervousness that she was solely responsible for the growing baby inside of her until he was born. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s been through it, loss taught her to never take anything for granted. Claire found out the gender of every baby. She says there’s no way couldn’t. She needed to plan names, clothing and everything in between. It was also about the bond to be able to say ‘he’ or ‘she’ whenever she spoke about or to her baby. She liked to be alone and connect by speaking to her baby. She didn’t have gestational diabetes this time. She says her diet has gotten progressively worse over the last five years. She doesn’t claim she deprived herself of anything. She ate a balanced diet of fruits and vegetables, but she also enjoyed the cake, too.
She used the same doctor as she did for her other babies. In the UK, she didn’t have a regular doctor, but saw a GP regularly who is one of her husband’s best friends. Appointments at the hospital were always with different midwives.
Claire used The Gentle Birthing app that really helped with her anxieties of birth. Even though this was her third birth, she still feared it. She expected this birth to be very quick and assumed there would be no time for an epidural. Her worst fear was to give birth without an epidural. Each week of the last few weeks of the pregnancy each felt like a month. Her braxton hicks were so intense she kept thinking she was in labor. When she was checked, she wasn’t dilated. At 40 weeks, one day, they wanted to induce her. Claire didn’t think it was necessary because she felt like it was going to happen pretty soon. She still had two other children at home and didn’t have the luxury of waiting out a few more days. This was an opportunity, and she wanted to take it.
Claire went in for her induction at the general ward, and they inserted the pessary which are hormones they put inside to start labor. Within five minutes her body was convulsing. She thought she was in labor, but the nurse disagreed because she’d only had it in for five minutes. She used the restroom and everything came out. She went back to the nurse to tell her she’d given birth several times, and she was definitely in labor. The nurse finally agreed to look. She took the pessary out and made a phone call. She brought back a lovely young midwife called Sophie. This was Sophie’s first day as a registered midwife. Claire grabbed her and buried her head in her beautiful, fresh linen smelling uniform and begged her not leave her. She was meant to stay on the floor, but Sophie checked and they said she could stay with Claire.
Claire was moved to the labor ward. She looked at her husband and said, “I’m not ready to have another baby. I can’t do this.” She also knew labor was all about the breathe. She told herself to breath through it. She tried not to scream. Pain is a bad thing, but this is intensity. She told herself her body was doing something very natural, and just go with it. She told herself to breathe. She was ready for the epidural, but it was too late. She didn’t understand. She didn’t think she could do it. They brought the anesthetist in but felt like it was just to humor her. Claire’s husband left to use the restroom. Two minutes later, he heard some almighty roaring but didn’t think it could have been her, but it was her. Her water had broken and the second her waters broke, she felt the urge to push. She flung herself down sideways even though she wasn’t properly on the bed. With her legs opened, she laid there and roared. She says it wasn’t a shout or scream. It was powerful like she was expelling something. It felt like her baby had to travel miles through her body. Between contractions she wasn’t sure she could do it, but everyone in the room cheered her on. One more push and the baby was out. She tore after every birth and this time was no different. Her third was her biggest at eight pounds. She was shaking so much afterwards that she couldn’t hold her new baby. It was all over in half a hour. Her husband took his shirt off and had skin to skin with their new child while she had time to calm down. She couldn’t believe what just happened and was in shock. It took awhile for her to calm down, but it was love when she was able to finally hold her baby.
She had three babies in four years, and she breastfed each of them for a year. She feels lucky to have an oversupply and was able to donate milk. She had mastitis about twelve times throughout her journey of breastfeeding. She formed an infection if she was late by half an hour for a feed. She did baby led breastfeeding, and they still woke up every few hours to feed. After a year of breasting feeding she was just so tired and ready to stop. When her baby got to a year old, she consulted with a sleep coach. The advice was to have the baby cry it out, but that didn’t work for her.
*NOTE: Does the photo look off to you, too? That’s because AI helps me to expand photos to fit the size required, and sometimes it’s not perfect. Things can get weird on the blog! The middle section of Claire holding her daughter in the hospital bed is the true image.
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Resources:
Over 40 Fabulous and Pregnant on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/over40fabulousandpregnant/
Claire on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/akwababy/
Gentle Birth App: https://www.gentlebirth.com/
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