On episode 24 we have Bianca from Scotland, who is a community nurse and mother to 7 children. She was pregnant at 42 and currently 34 weeks pregnant at 48. She says she never set out to have a big family.
Bianca didn’t think her family was complete when she was 42. She hadn’t been trying long. She has a very regular 28-day cycle. She says as regular as clockwork, so when her cycle was late she suspected she was pregnant. She was at a job she hated, and she was back for only about 4 months from maternity leave with her last baby. It only took a few cycles to get pregnant. She couldn’t believe it, though. It took two years and four losses at about the 6-7 week mark when she was trying at 39. She says going through the losses was awful, but thankful for not being any further along than that. She says the paranoia of losing the baby was unbelievable at 42, so she didn’t tell many other people. She couldn’t believe she was able to get pregnant so quickly.
Bianca describes this pregnancy as straight forward. She said the two blood clots from varicose veins in her right leg were horrible even though she worked while having them. She got injections every day that thinned her blood enough to get rid of the blood clots. Elevating her legs and compression socks helped with this but the socks were so uncomfortable underneath her nurse’s uniform. She says all her pregnancies she’s suffered from morning sickness morning, day and night right up until birth. She says this is the heaviest she’s been, but after birth she always ends up slimmer than before pregnancy. She says that’s because of how sick she gets. She took a one-hour bus ride to work and had to get off a few times to throw up. The morning sickness was that bad. The only thing that helped were the tablets you put between the gum and cheek. She also had severe heartburn with every pregnancy, including this one. She found some over-the-counter medication that eliminated it.
I was certainly more tired at 42 than when I had my first at 20.
Bianca went on maternity leave at 29 weeks because she was so tired. She says she’s a lot more tired at 42 than when she had her first at 20. She was younger and fitter with her first. She could go to bed after work and sleep off the hormones back then. At 42, she was pregnant and her youngest was a little over a year. While she has other kids, she says she’s never relied on them for childcare. Her mom was one of six and her mom thinks her life was put on hold because she was helping with the other children.
She stops drinking coffee but has a sweet tooth when she’s pregnant. She craved pancakes and chocolate. She still wasn’t putting on weight, so she didn’t worry about it.
It’s coming out the sunroof. Cut me open and lift it out.
Bianca says people think the more kids you have; they just fall out. It’s absolutely not the case she says. Bianca’s births have gotten harder with each one. Her birth at 39 was an emergency c-section and her first c-section. Her daughter was 10lbs 10oz and had shoulder dystocia. She has a fear the baby will get stuck ever since then. She’s been induced with all of them and each baby has been over 8.5 lbs (her husband is 6’8”).
At 42, Bianca had a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks which she was delighted about and describes it as lovely. She knows the recovery is harder, but her vaginal labors last multiple days. She had Braxton hicks but never contractions. She got to the hospital at 8:30 am the day her c-section was scheduled. There were a few emergencies that delayed her. She remembers being more relaxed that day than she’d ever been for any other birth. She was taken back for the c-section at 11:00 am. She was happy to see an all-women team in the OR. Her daughter came out screaming and everyone in the room was laughing at her. She couldn’t wait to get home, though. She didn’t get any sleep or rest in the hospital. The staff knew she was a nurse, so she thinks she got a little bit extra care.
All of her children, up until 39 were breastfed. Bianca found it easy, more convenient, and cheaper. She lost a lot of blood during that birth at 39 which caused her body to go into shock. After 36 hours of the birth, her baby was very irritable after she breastfed. Her body was too weak to produce what her baby needed, so she was bottle fed. This time at 42, her breast milk didn’t come in again. She tried to breastfeed, but she didn’t push it. She felt like a failure and that her body had let her down because she wasn’t able to breastfeed like she had her other babies. Thinking back, she’s not sure if it’s a coincidence, but the two babies that were bottle fed got more colds.
Mentally, Bianca was good until her maternity leave was up at a full year. She hated her job and the thought of leaving her baby made her feel ill and sad. She had moments of sadness where she thought she would never experience this again. As soon as she gave birth, she missed her bump and the feeling of the baby inside her womb. She feels fortunate that her babies have made her happy and has a very supportive husband to help.
Six years has past, Bianca is 48 now. A week before Bianca was due at 42, she passed her driving test. She couldn’t drive for five weeks after her c-section, but after that she loved driving. She also hurt her back after her birth at 42 where she was off work for almost a year. She also changed jobs during this time to one that she loved and didn’t give her as much stress. Her job now is easier. She isn’t on her feet as much as she was at 42 where she would walk about 17,000 steps in a shift, now she’s lucky if she walks 2,000 steps. She loves having the same holidays as teachers. This gave them time to go on holiday and that’s when she conceived at 48. She didn’t think her family was complete after having her daughter at 42. They tried for a baby for four years after she gave birth using the Ovia Pregnancy app to track her cycle. She tracked her cycle in the app that time on holiday for some reason she doesn’t know because she stopped. She had given up. A few weeks after they were back from holiday, her 16 year old daughter was a few days into her cycle and needed tampons. They were out. Having three girls in the house meant they all cycled at the same time. She checked her app and realized she was four days late. She bought tampons for her daughter and a pregnancy test for herself. It was positive, and she couldn’t believe it. Right before she starts her cycle, she has a very strong craving for chocolate. She realized she didn’t crave it this time.
It’s definitely one of the best pregnancies I’ve had.
Bianca’s feeling great during this pregnancy at 48. She says no one has ever asked her if she’s the grannie, but she does feel old. She is financially stressed this time around, but she thinks everyone is. She can’t sleep at night, and she says it’s awful. Because of her new job, she started maternity leave at 34 weeks. She says there’s a lot to do around the house, but she has a cough that has been keeping her from getting things done. Her nesting instincts are strong. She says she’s one kilo lighter than when she first found out she was pregnant. The morning sickness isn’t that bad for her this time around. She’s on the blood thinner injections as a precaution.
Her doctor has been really supportive with the pregnancy. She has gestational diabetes this time, but it’s under control. She says taking her blood sugar level four times a day is such a pain, though. She’s had tons of extra scans. The doctor said she’s progressing so well, that he didn’t need to see her for four weeks when she’ll get the date for the c-section.
At 34 weeks, Bianca has everything she needs for the baby in the attic. She has a crib she’s had for 17 years. She does need a car seat and a pram that she plans to get next week.
FUN FACT: In Scotland, the government provides a ‘Baby Box’ so every child has the same start in life. It’s new, so this is the first one she’s received. It includes a very large box, big enough for the baby to use as a bassinette. Inside is a new mattress, sheets, gender neutral baby cloths, condoms, breast pads, baby towel, thermometer and more. Bianca says the amount of stuff she gets is unbelievable. She was excited to get it. Her six-year-old did an unboxing and her two daughters have decorated the box. Her house is on three levels, so she was thinking of using the box on the level that doesn’t have the crib or pram.
Bianca has a c-section planned for this birth. She’s a lot less stressed about this birth. She thinks this baby will weigh about the same as her daughter at 42, 10lbs 10oz. She’s not worried because it’s ‘coming out of the sunroof.’ She already has colostrum, so she anticipates breastfeeding this time around.
At 48, Bianca says with the cost of living, she can’t take another year off but she’s taking nine months of maternity leave this time. She says she can share her maternity leave with her husband, but she’s not sharing! She gets 8 weeks with full paid leave; then 18 weeks half pay but there’s supplement pay that takes it up to about 90% pay. That’s 26 weeks of paid maternity leave. Then 13 weeks where the government pays you £156 a week, and then 3 months of unpaid leave if you choose. Her husband gets two weeks of paid paternal leave.
Here are the topics we discuss in this episode:
- Weight gain
- Morning sickness
- Maternity leave in Scotland
- Miscarriage
- Blood clots
- C-section
- Shoulder dystocia
- Gestational diabetes
- Heartburn
- Breastfeeding
- Scotland’s baby box program
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