103. Karen shares how a suspected Crohn’s flare-up turned out to be a miracle pregnancy at 46—and why she refused to be a pregnant bride.
On episode 103, For years, Karen was dedicated to her career and travel, waiting for the right moment and the right person. When she finally met Jason in her early 40s, they assumed their path to parenthood would require clinical intervention or adoption. But just as they were planning their future, a “Crohn’s flare-up” turned out to be a life-changing surprise: a spontaneous pregnancy at age 46.
In this episode, Karen shares the shock of her “die stealer” pregnancy test and why she was firm about not being a pregnant bride, choosing to separate her wedding from her journey to motherhood. We dive into her experience navigating a teaching hospital, the “peanut gallery” of residents, and how she learned to advocate for her own rest during a grueling three-day induction. Karen also discusses her “mindful minutes” in the classroom and the bittersweet transition of surrendering the life she knew for the “miracle” daughter she waited so long to meet.
About the Guest
Karen is a dedicated middle school teacher and long-time cross-country coach based in southwest Detroit. After spending her 20s and 30s focused on her career and passion for travel, she met her husband, Jason, in her early 40s. Her journey is a powerful testament to the possibility of spontaneous pregnancy at 46 and the importance of maintaining a mindful, positive mindset through major life transitions.
Connect with Karen:
- Instagram: @WhitneyH2015
Key Topics
- The “Crohn’s Flare” Surprise: How Karen mistook the early signs of pregnancy (fatigue and nausea) for a flare-up of her Crohn’s disease before realizing she was spontaneously pregnant at 46.
- A “Die Stealer” Discovery: The moment Karen saw a pregnancy test so positive that the control line was faint—a phenomenon known as a “die stealer”—and the mixed emotions of joy and anxiety that followed.
- Boundaries Around Marriage & Motherhood: Why Karen was firm about not being a “pregnant bride,” choosing to focus on her journey to motherhood first and marrying her partner, Jason, later.
- Navigating the “Teaching Hospital” Experience: Karen’s experience being “under surveillance” as an older mother, including her interactions with a “maternal-fetal medicine” (MFM) specialist who noted she was the oldest spontaneous pregnancy he had seen.
- Advocating for Rest: The realities of a grueling three-day induction and how Karen learned to advocate for her own needs and physical boundaries during the birth process.
- Mindful Minutes in the Classroom: As a middle school teacher, Karen shares how she used daily meditations with her students as a way to connect with her baby and maintain a positive mindset.
- The Bittersweet Transition: Surrendering the life of travel and career focus she knew for the “miracle” daughter she waited decades to meet.
Resources & Links
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Transcript
Jamie: Karen, welcome to the show.
Karen: Hi. Thank you for having me.
Jamie: And today we are sharing Karen’s pregnancy at 46. But before we begin, Karen, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Karen: I am a middle school teacher. I live in southwest Detroit. I have my husband Jason, and our daughter Brianna.
Jamie: So tell us, you were not married when you got pregnant.
Karen: That is correct.
Jamie: Tell us about that.
Karen: I met Jason in my early forties. Sometimes people meet their person early in life and Jason and I did not connect until later in life.
But he is my person and I love him so much. I’m so grateful to have met him. Earlier in my life, I was very dedicated to my career and traveling. I was enjoying life. And I knew that I wanted to get married and have a family, but I did not wanna do it right off the bat.
I was not looking for that. I was not really in the space for it, but when the time was right it was right for Jason as well. We met and we just really hit it off and everything started lining up. We traveled together, our families got along together, our dogs got along together. We started talking about marriage. It took a little while. We were together for a couple years and we did talk about having a family and he was open to it. He already has a son from a previous relationship. But he was open to having more children. I told him that it was important to me, and we assumed that we would have to investigate IVF or adoption or, we were open to anything.
Jamie: Why did he assume that?
Karen: Just because of our age. We really just Okay. Thought that it would be harder to get pregnant. I had never, I’ve never been pregnant. I never tried to get pregnant. You hear, you don’t really hear of a lot of people until your podcast of a lot of people, over 40 being pregnant. And so I just assumed it would be harder. And so did he.
So we planned on getting married and then I found out that I was spontaneously pregnant. It was definitely a life changing moment.
I went through my pregnancy and then we got married this past summer.
Jamie: Oh, fun.
Karen: I did not wanna do them both at the same time. He was ready to just go. He was like, let’s just get married. I’m like, no. I waited this whole time to find my person. I am so excited to be a mom, but I don’t wanna do them at the same time.
Jamie: Congratulations.
Karen: Thank you. So newlyweds.
Jamie: Yeah. So tell us like, were you late on your cycle? Was it a total surprise?
Karen: Yes. Okay. So I’m a middle school teacher and the fall is very busy for a teacher.
And then I have been a cross country coach for over 20 years. And that season is in the fall, so it starts in August and we start, before school starts, we start training. And then I’m also a leadership was a leadership coordinator at my school. And that is a lot of stuff in the fall because it’s like a orientation for the new students.
So it’s just a lot of commitments. My fall is always very busy. So we started school like normal. Everything was progressing along, without any issues. But I was really tired and I was going to cross country practice, I usually run with the students and I was like really struggling to run with the students and I was like, man, I am like out of shape, like what is going on?
I was late diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and there’s a lot of different symptoms for Crohn’s. I normally have it in remission. I’ve been healthy since my diagnosis. I do take medicine for it, but when I start to feel a little off, I have fatigue and nauseousness. There are other symptoms for Crohn’s, but those are like my two big ones.
And so I was fatigued. I was feeling nauseous and my brain 100% to Crohn’s, and I was like, I need to slow down. I need to relax. So I was taking more naps. I was sleeping, I was drinking my water, like I was trying to do all the things, but I was just trucking along. It never even came into my brain.
It sounds ridiculous to say that now, but it just didn’t come into my brain. Fast forward to October so school started at the end of August. And so now this is the end of October. And Jason and I went out on a date night, and this was very exciting because I’d been so busy that this was like, yay, we’re going out on a date night.
I felt great. We had so much fun. The next morning I am like exhausted. I was totally wiped out. And he’s the one actually who said, when did you last have your period? And I was like, what? Oh my gosh. Normally I could think about it right away ’cause I normally track it in my planner, but I just had been so busy that year that I missed it. And I went back and looked and it was the first week of school and I remembered that once he said it, I was like, oh my gosh. It was the first week of school because I was so annoyed that it was the first week of school.
I’m like, really? Like I’m getting my period the first week of school. So end of August was the last, my last period. And this was the end of October and I was like, oh my gosh, could it possibly be that? And so I went and got a pregnancy test because I didn’t have one. We weren’t planning it.
We weren’t preparing for it. I went and got a pregnancy test, came back, took the test, waited and two lines came back right away. But one of them was faint, but we were reading the directions because I had not done this before. I wasn’t sure we were looking at it. It was the other line that was faint.
It was the control line. And I was like, that’s weird. Like it says in here, even if the other line is the faint one, you’re pregnant. But I didn’t know what it meant if the control line was off. I’m like what does that mean?
Jamie: It’s a die stealer.
Karen: I didn’t know that word. Yeah, I learned that word on this podcast because I just, I wasn’t there and I had not done any pregnancy tests.
I never heard anybody that had happened to, so it was a die stealer. So I know that now, but at the time I had to do three more pregnancy tests and including just driving to the store and getting the digital one that just said Pregnant, not pregnant. ’cause I was like I, who has time for these lines?
Which is also just ridiculous. Three pregnancy tests, it was pregnant. So I like all the emotions come at that moment. Like we were super excited, but, also very anxious. Like immediately, some anxiety comes on is it healthy? Am I gonna be okay? Just like all the emotions come in.
I wish that I could say I was only just joyful and excited, but, the other emotions came in as well.
Jamie: Sure.
Karen: Just worry that it was gonna be okay.
Jamie: How was your pregnancy?
Karen: The pregnancy was great. I didn’t have any issues conceiving and I didn’t really have any issues in my pregnancy.
I was fatigued in that first trimester. But I’m normally a pretty energetic person. I am pretty healthy. I like to stay on the go and. It was just like that. I felt great during my pregnancy. I had a few things here and there but I did not have morning sickness. And so I just, I felt really good.
I felt very grateful. My mom had morning sickness, I think every single day of their pregnancy, and I did not feel that way at all. And I just feel very grateful.
Jamie: Wow. That’s amazing.
Karen: Yeah. Yeah. I feel good.
Jamie: Wow. So what was it like finding a doctor? Did you even need to find a doctor?
Karen: My doctor story so my school is 45 minutes away from where I currently live.
So I used to live where I worked, but then when I met Jason, I moved to be with him. That’s 45 minutes away. That’s not that big of a deal. But my doctors and everybody was on the other side of town. And so the question was do I stay or do I change? And in the end I just decided to stay with my doctor since we had so much history.
Through the whole entire things, I went back and forth as far as , this was a good idea, or this was not a good idea. I’m grateful because she never treated me any differently. I’ve never been pregnant, but I’m going to assume that I was just like anybody else.
She never used the words advanced maternal age or geriatric. She never treated me different. She did say that I had to go to the MFM later in pregnancy, and she would induce me at 39 weeks. She said that right off the bat. But at the time she, she did not say any other thing was gonna be impacted by my age.
Jamie: What was important to you?
Karen: What I was really wanting was someone who I just felt good with. That’s what I was, really wanting. It was my first time being pregnant.
It was, I was older. I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go. I just had a lot of questions. My friends and family, they’d all had babies, a long time ago. So I was an island, your podcast was my community. I was so excited to find you guys. I listened to your stories all the time.
You guys were my community ’cause I didn’t really have anyone, here that was pregnant to talk to. So I was really looking for someone who made me feel good and because I had so much history with my doctor. That’s why I did decide to stay with her. The challenging part was that she’s not a warm and fuzzy type person.
Everyone’s a different personality style, but, there’s a lot of emotions that go along with pregnancy. And there were times that I just wanted her to be like, not get necessarily gimme a hug, but just not so factual and detached.
She was very she was very calm. She never got stressed. She never she never looked too far ahead in, into the future. She just kept me like in the present moment, this is what’s going on. This is what you can expect. And I appreciated that, but I just wanted a little warm and fuzzy. She wasn’t great at that.
Jamie: Yeah. We all need that during pregnancy sometimes.
Karen: Yes. So I was able to get it from, everyone else that, pretty much everyone else that I came in contact with. So I was like my doctor has all these other things and I really I never felt my age when I was going to the doctor’s appointment and even going to the maternal fetal medicine, it was in the same office.
I did decide to go through a hospital. I did ponder for a moment, going through, a different route. I chose to stick with my doctor and her office is attached to the hospital that I gave birth to and the maternal fetal medicine.
It was one stop shopping, everything was right there. That’s nice. And it was right down the street from my work, which was also convenient ’cause I had to go to a lot of appointments. They say your baby’s gonna get under a lot of surveillance. That’s what they told me when I first met the maternal fetal medicine people. And that is very true. I was there a lot.
Jamie: Yeah. And so you went to the MFM just basically because of your age?
Karen: Yes. So I have they did record that I had, the autoimmune disease of Crohn’s, but it never impacted anything. My Crohn’s never changed. Like I still was in remission throughout whole pregnancy. It never changed. But they do watch that as well.
Jamie: Sure.
Karen: And yeah, when I met with the maternal funeral medicine doctor, he was really awesome. Every, all the nurses there were great as well, but he made the comment in our first meeting that I was the oldest person that he had with a spontaneous pregnancy.
I didn’t really know how to respond to that. I was like, am I supposed to feel good about that or not? Good about that? I didn’t really know how to take that. It was like okay. But I was the oldest person that he had seen.
Jamie: Wow. You’re like, thank you.
Karen: I know
Jamie: yeah.
Karen: But it was, everything turned out, everything turned out.
So maybe I’m in his case study somewhere.
Jamie: So what about the sex? Tell us about finding out.
Karen: When I found out. Oh, I don’t know how many weeks I was, maybe seven weeks pregnant.
Something like that. And you had to, at through my doctor, you had to wait till 13 weeks to get the genetic testing. And when you did the genetic testing, you could also do the gender At that time they went together.
Jamie: Oh, the NIPT test.
Karen: It wasn’t that one, but Oh, okay. It’s the same, it’s the same type of deal.
Jamie: Oh, okay.
Karen: But it wasn’t called that, but it’s the same thing. From the time that I found out I was pregnant until the genetic testing, I felt like I was holding my breath. Not knowing, and, those little comments like the doctor saying, you’re the oldest person, like those little things can’t stick in your head. But fortunately, like I said, my other doctor and my general practitioner, I also saw my general practitioner, like I’m in good health. Nobody had any concerns. Every once in a while, like one of those doubts, comes into your head. And so when I, we got the genetic testing back, you take the blood test, the one that we did, we took the blood test and then you sent it in and it went to California and we had to wait a week to find out the results.
Once I sent it in. I counted the days and then started checking. I’m horrible. I started checking in the middle of the night. I knew it would be like posted. I’m like, California time, what time would this be? And I would be checking my phone for a message, check the portal.
For several days I was like constantly checking the portal and I woke up one morning to go to school at five o’clock in the morning and it was in the portal. And I woke Jason up and we both got up and we came downstairs. We like got coffee, we sat down. I don’t think I had coffee. He had coffee, I had water.
Sat down and we opened the email together and we found out that the genetic testing came back. Everything was normal. And that was like one layer and then came the box. Do you wanna find out the gender? Yes, we were very excited about finding out he has a son from the previous relationship. He was hoping that it was a girl I wanted, I didn’t care what it was.
So we clicked the button and we were so excited. We clicked the button and then it says, are you sure that you wanna do it? Like it asked us three times. ’cause it didn’t wanna spoil it in case you didn’t really wanna know, or you picked it by accident.
Jamie: Yeah, that’s nice. But at the same time you’re like,
Karen: I’m like, come on, I wanna know.
I wanna know. The pink confetti came out and it said, it’s a girl. And we were Oh, so excited. So right away we knew, and it just felt very exciting to know that we were gonna have a little baby girl and he was gonna get to be a girl dad. And he like, he’s embracing it.
Jamie: That’s wonderful.
Karen: Yeah, it was very exciting.
Jamie: Was there any product or anything that you could recommend that helped you through pregnancy?
Karen: I didn’t really use a ton of things. I did get a pregnancy pillow. It helped me sleep, but it wasn’t there wasn’t anything specifically special about it. I guess what I really used a lot was slip-on shoes, those kissick totally a lifesaver. I was all belly it was big. It was all belly, all in the front and, bending down, it does get in your way.
I think the things that helped me weren’t necessarily products, but, the, just the mindset, like taking time. So I’m a teacher and I start every class with a mindful minute.
And during my pregnancy, that minute became like, especially important for me to like calm, focus. I would put my hands on the belly. So every hour I did a little mini meditation with my students. But it was really important for me and I would always like just go through my positive mantras and be thinking, positive manifestation stuff to keep me in a positive mindset.
Jamie: Yeah, I bet that was really nice to do. Plus you’re also helping these kids do that too.
Karen: Yes.
Jamie: I love that.
Karen: Yes. We had done it prior. And I still do it now, but it was very meaningful during that time as well.
It’s harder for me to do it at home because there’s just more distractions in my house. But for that minute, like my hands were on my belly and I would really just connect with her and connect with me. I did not think about my students. I was able to disconnect and it felt really good.
Jamie: And what about preparing for birth and even like your house? How did you prepare for her?
Karen: Ooh. So I’m definitely a planner. Jason sacrificed his office for the baby’s room, so he took control of that.
So I was out of it. We picked out items for the room together. But that was really fun that he had his, I’m gonna say his like secret project. He went in and worked on it without me seeing it. And then he did a big unveiling, which was pretty cool.
That’s he did a great job. It’s the nicest room in our house at this moment. And preparing for me, I I did go to a class and, Jason went with me, he’d already been through it, but I just, wanted to go and hear the information. I didn’t really. I think that I was gonna learn anything like super major, but I just wanted to go.
I just, I was in it. I wanted to hear. I was not reading like I couldn’t read again. I was, there’s just so much going on. And there’s so much information out there. I really wanted someone to just share with me boil it down, what are the most important things that I need to know.
And so going to the class was a good way to do that. And the best thing that happened from that class was I got connected with the lactation specialist. And so at the hospital that I delivered at, they they give you you get a visit from someone before you leave. But this woman also had a private business like outside of that.
She was connected to the hospital, but I got connected with her and she was amazing. She was a lifesaver. Like I really would encourage anyone who is pregnant to just double check your insurance because it was completely covered under my insurance. And she did classes at the hospital every Tuesday so you could bring your baby and you could have the connection with the women.
And she was there. That sounded great, but I didn’t want to drive there. That was 45 minutes away from my house. And I’m like, I’ve got a new baby. Like I just didn’t wanna do that. And so her private service she came right to the house. She drove to me. She brought her little scale, they did weighted feedings.
She answered any question that I had at the time. So I was very grateful to have her. So that was a good connection.
Jamie: Yeah, it is nice when they come to your house.
Karen: So nice. I really I think that’s just amazing. I feel grateful. I went into the delivery, not, I went into the pregnancy not having any expectations about breastfeeding.
I wanted to do it. I was excited to try it, but, I had no idea if my body, I know a lot of people who it works for and it doesn’t work for, so I didn’t want to get my heart set on it and then have it not work, and then be like, super disappointed. So I just went into it if it works, awesome.
If it doesn’t work, that’s okay, and she latched right away. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have, questions or wonderings here or there. So having her and being able to come to the house and see. Just watch me in my, in the comfort of my own home. This is what’s really happening.
And she could, just gimme a lot of pointers on different things. And that was, invaluable.
Jamie: Yeah. Is there anything about your pregnancy you wanna talk about before we get into your birth?
Karen: I did I guess just thinking of the class I also visited I went to a pelvic floor therapist.
Oh, good for you. Prior to prior to giving birth I. She also was local. She was covered under the insurance, and you could do I can’t remember how many visits you could do prior. And that was nice to just to learn, just learn more about that, and to learn some exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor prior to giving birth.
And I didn’t know how the birthing was gonna go, and then it just, it, I knew kind of some things that I could do afterwards. She said s pee when you sneeze after birth isn’t a mandatory, you don’t have to be that person. Like you can strengthen your pelvic floor and you can be, it can be like pre-pregnancy.
I was like, oh, okay. So that’s what I went into it hoping for. I have no idea. I guess I feel like it was a good experience. She was amazing. It was just another person to connect to in more information. I did do the exercises. I don’t know. It was some, it was something that I did, but I don’t, I don’t know if it was like the game changer. But I felt like it was helpful.
Jamie: Do you pee whenever you sneeze now or cough?
Karen: I don’t. I don’t. So
Jamie: There you go.
Karen: So I guess so.
Jamie: Yeah, I do. So it would be really amazing to not,
Karen: well find a pelvic floor therapist.
Jamie: I sure need to. That’s amazing. And it’s really like, where did you get the idea to go to a poor public? You
Karen: know, I’m actually not even sure now where I got the idea from. Yeah, I’m not sure somebody must have said something or I must have come across must have come across it somewhere.
And when I looked it up it was, again, it was covered under insurance and it was like if it’s covered I might as well at least give it a try. And then, like I said, I really liked her. She was amazing and what she was, that what she was suggesting was not like it definitely was not going to hurt anything.
Sure. It could only help.
Jamie: That’s awesome.
Karen: Something that I don’t hear very often is we have dogs and we are animal lovers. And when we got pregnant I had a 12-year-old Pomeranian, he was a rescue, he was amazing. And Jason had a 55 pound pit bull mix. And our dogs were amazing, but we had trouble with Kasha. When I got pregnant. She had some behavior issues before, but it escalated when I got pregnant. You don’t hear a lot of people talk about that. And it’s really hard because your animals are part of your pack. It’s part of your people.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: But then you’re like balancing a pregnancy and there’s just a lot going on and it was very stressful. And it’s something that we struggled with, we had a behaviorist come out that we met we consulted with, we had trainers come out and, I just, if there’s anyone out there who, who’s going through that kind of a thing, it’s just hard. There’s just no, there’s no easy solution or a good fix. And it’s just really hard. It was a really hard situation to go through and manage.
Jamie: Yeah. What did you do? Did you do anything about it or?
Karen: So we, after talking with the behaviorist and the trainer, we had gotten some techniques and some tips on things that we could do. So she started escalating in her guarding like resource guarding, but she moved to people like she started guarding us and it wasn’t necessarily just me, which was interesting ’cause I thought it would’ve been me, but it was whoever she was sitting in front of. So she would start to come at us.
And that was really hard. And, being pregnant, you’re definitely vulnerable.
Jamie: Sure.
Karen: And so we, we got some tips and some strategies on how to work with her and we were able to control it. It was something that, was always present through the, through the pregnancy. And then what are we gonna do when we have the baby? What’s it gonna be like? When Brianna came home, she was okay. It was an adjustment for both dogs to have a baby in the house. But it was okay. We went in waves.
We worked with her my whole pregnancy and then over a year. As Brianna got more mobile, she started increasing her aggressive behaviors. We had to surrender her and it was like , I just get emotional thinking about it. It was one of the hardest things that we had to do. Like she’s part of our people, and so it was really hard.
Jamie: Oh, I’m sorry.
Karen: Yeah. Thank you. And so it’s just hard ’cause Brianna was such a blessing and a gift to us, but it also impacted our family. It just is hard.
Jamie: Our pups are part of our family.
Karen: She went after Brianna and she left a mark on her face. It was not safe. Like what we were trying everything, we had the professionals over but we just felt like it was just time. ‘Cause you can’t control everything at all the time. She’s not gonna follow the rules and we have these gates set up, but the dog can jump the gates. That was a really challenging thing, but something that we prepared for. But it lasted all the way through the first year of having Brianna.
Jamie: I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking.
Karen: Thank you. It was.
Jamie: Do you wanna mention about at 37 weeks the umbilical cord?
Karen: Oh yes. I had been going to the maternal fetal medicine person and my regular ob so at that point of my pregnancy, so this is at 36 weeks. So I was 45 and a half when I conceived.
And so my birthday is in April, so this is right before I turned, right around that time of, 45, 46 36 weeks pregnant. And I had been going to these appointments that are pretty quick. You just go and you listen to the heartbeat and they do a couple tests and they tell you everything looks okay, and then you go home.
And so I went to this appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine and they said everything seemed to be the same. It seemed normal. They said everything looked good, and they sent me home. And for some reason I looked at the portal. I don’t know why I looked because I don’t normally look, but I looked and it said that there was this thing, and I’m like, what is that?
It was an umbilical vein, varix is what it was called. And I did have to look that up again because I kept forgetting what it was, and I said, I cannot go down the rabbit hole of Googling what this is. I didn’t wanna know, but Jason did. I’m like, okay, you look it up, but you have to really filter out whatever it is, because I had looked it up on the portal, and of course I couldn’t talk to the doctor until later.
Sometimes technology gets yes, sometimes. Sometimes it’s better to not know. But I got ahold of my doctor the next day and she said that it’s something that is not common, but it is something that happens. It’s not that the umbilical cord was around his around her neck, but there was something about it that was twisted.
And they, she said that there wasn’t any issues with it at the moment, but it could escalate. Since I was so close to being full term, they said that they were just gonna they were just gonna call it early. That was a Thursday, and she scheduled me to get induced on Sunday.
Jamie: Oh, wow.
Karen: So I was 37 weeks pregnant, but I was just 37 weeks pregnant.
Jamie: What does she mean by escalate?
Karen: This is where I didn’t want to know too much, but there was definite things that could happen. And then they’d probably have to do like emergency c-section or do something, in emergency situation as opposed to, planning for it and doing it a little more at your own pace. It could be nothing. She said it could resolve on its own or not.
And she had said just to, she said the baby was full term. She said everything looked good and she wanted it to air on the side of caution. That was the recommendation also of the maternal fetal medicine guy as well. And so I went with it.
Jamie: So you went in on a Sunday to be induced.
Karen: I went in on a Sunday to be induced and so she explained the induction process and what was gonna happen. The way that she made it sound, the biggest thing that I was worried about was food was I was gonna be there for how long?
’cause she said it could take a while, your body might not respond right away. I was very nervous oh my gosh, am I not gonna be able to eat? So I am also I’m gluten free and dairy free. Being at the hospital also, I knew that was at, oh, actually I did do that before. In one of my final appointments, I actually went to the hospital nutritionist and was like, what kind of food do you serve here?
I was very afraid that I wasn’t gonna have anything to eat that was gonna work for me. I was pleasantly surprised. Like they had all these different foods. By no means was it like amazing, but they had things that fit every diet. I know that sounds very silly, but when I don’t eat, everything goes downhill. And so I was nervous I was gonna be there and not have energy to give birth naturally.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: So I went in Sunday night and she explained what was gonna happen. And I didn’t really think too much of it. I was mostly worried, worried about in my head about, what am I bringing? Do I have all the things in my bag? I wanted to set the mood. I I had a speaker with some music and I had, some crystals and I had some essential oils, and I just wanted to set the tone.
And so I was really thinking about that stuff. I wasn’t necessarily thinking about the induction process and, oh man. Like you have a birth plan and then it just, you just gotta go with whatever, whatever comes. And my body responded great once I started. Once the delivery process actually started, but the induction process, oh my gosh.
So if you cannot be induced, oh my gosh. Please. Yeah, please skip that.
Jamie: Did you do anything to ripen the cervix or did you go straight to Pitocin? How did that work out? ’cause you were pretty early.
Karen: We were early, yes.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: The reason they had us come on Sunday night is because they started with they started with a something, it’s not Pitocin, but they start with a pre pill, something. It’s just a pill that you take and it’s supposed to start the process going.
So it just you take a pill and then you wait a couple hours and you take a pill and you wait a couple hours and you take a pill. So it’s very unexciting, which is why they have bring you in at night.
So you can do this through the night and you’re not really missing anything. In the morning they started the process of the Foley balloon. Ooh. I don’t know if you have ever heard of anybody who did that. Most people probably have.
Again, if you just tell me about it, it doesn’t sound comfortable, but it didn’t sound like, I was about to push a baby out, so like that’s not comfortable either.
I didn’t think it was gonna be as painful as it was. I will also back up. One of the things that I did not know exactly, or maybe I knew it and didn’t know it, is that my hospital is a teaching hospital. Every person who came in with a crew, hi, I’m so and do you mind if my six people watch you from the back? And it’s okay, whatever. It’s weird to have all these people in the peanut gallery, but every single person who came in had an entourage with them. And that was just, again, you’re talking about a lot of sensitive stuff, like you’re doing a lot of things and there’s just, there was a lot of people watching as a teacher, I know it’s important that everyone is, involved in the learning process, but wow.
That just added an extra intervention to the whole process. The resident came in to do the Foley balloon with her entourage of people and they couldn’t get it, and it was the most painful thing.
Jamie: Oh.
Karen: And so she said they were gonna wait, maybe I took another pill. I’m not sure. They gave me a little more time.
And then they came back and a different resident was gonna come in and try it. Another thing my doctor was a single practitioner, and that was actually, I didn’t mention that early, but that was one of the things that I did want, was I wanted to know who was gonna deliver my baby.
There are some places where you can go where it’s, there’s six people and it could be anyone and that’s fine, but I just really wanted to know who was delivering my baby.
What I didn’t know was that she only comes in at the end until with hospital birth you get a lot of residents until the actual delivery. I had never met any of these people before and the peanut gallery, so it just was like, again, this dimension. But the second person came in, it was a different person came in, they tried it again. It was excruciating. I just, it was horrible. And I just, it didn’t work. And I don’t know if it was them or if it was, my body just wasn’t ready. And I just a big shout out again the people who really held it down and who were really with me the whole time and were, the best was the nurses.
They just really had my back and were so kind and supportive and they just really rocked. So my, my hospital had the best nurses, so I really appreciated them.
Jamie: Yeah. I think you touched on it, but mentally, how do you think those extra people affected you mentally?
Karen: I think in the beginning it was weird. I was in so much pain, like I couldn’t even focus on those people on the back because I was very much what is this is painful.
Jamie: Yeah,
Karen: I didn’t even pay attention to them. I would notice them and I would go, oh my gosh, this is weird when they walked in the door. But I don’t even know if I had the bandwidth to really focus on them at all.
Jamie: What happened after this balloon?
Karen: We talked about different options and they really wanted to try for a third time.
And I was like, oh my gosh, like this is ridiculous. And I said what are the options? Is there a pain medicine that I can take? ’cause the problem was like, I was in pain, like it was hurting me, so I was tensing up. And then that was like not helping the whole situation. So I asked if I could take some pain medicine so that maybe I could stay a little more relaxed and they could get it in.
And so we tried that. I told them that I am pretty sensitive to medicine and so they gave me the pain medicine and an anti-nausea, like together right away. Let the pain medicine work for a little while, and then the third person came in to try, did not work. And this was, Jason thinks that this whole process was like the worst thing that he’s ever had to witness.
Way worse than the actual birth, because it was just painful and not working. So at that point, I just said, I need a break. We need to stop. And I just asked everybody to leave and I just needed to rest. And so I relaxed in bed, I fell asleep, and I woke up and my water had broke naturally.
Jamie: Wow.
Karen: And so I was like, okay Jason get up. Like my wa I’m pretty sure my water just broke. Like I am sitting in a pool of water here. So the nurses came in, they said that my water had broken. And that I thought was a good sign. And so I was like, okay, maybe, maybe my body is getting closer.
So I was in the like the. Labor side, I guess there’s two sides of the hospital. I did have to switch rooms a couple times. So I was in the laboring section and once my water broke, they moved me into the delivery section. Once I was there, it was one room where you could do everything in there and the baby would be born in that room, but I couldn’t recover in that room, so I did have to move to a third room.
I didn’t really know all of that ahead of time. It was fine. I didn’t have to do the moving, they moved me around, but I’m sure Jason would probably say differently since he had to move all the suitcases
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: What, all the stuff and it was just annoying to not have, to not be able to be in one room. But that was what my hospital had. If I could pick, it would be nicer to just have one room.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: So now I’m being moved to the other room and it’s now it’s the middle of the night. I have no idea what day it is, but now it’s the middle of the night.
Jamie: When did your water break? What time was it?
Karen: I 100% lost track of time, but I was in, I can envision the room and it was daylight, so I’m gonna guess that it was probably like in the middle of the afternoon when my water broke.
Jamie: Okay.
Karen: Then they moved me, but by the time everything happened and they moved me, now I’m in a room that doesn’t have a lot of windows and so it just feels very dark.
So I am not sure about time at that point. And also I get to the room. And I am starting to feel that pain medicine, the anti-nausea did not work. So now I’m feeling nauseous and I am going to throw up. I had not thrown up my whole pregnancy and to throw up with, at the very end, like it is just awkward to be throwing up with that giant belly it was just, it was horrible.
So now I’m in the bathroom. I feel horrible. I’m vomiting. I’m like, is this really happening to me? Like now I’m just losing it, mentally just like now I’m just, I’m tired. I don’t feel well. It was just a lot. They had a shower in the bathroom, so I just said, I need a moment.
Like I need to take a shower and restart this whole thing. And that was like a game changer right there. Like I was able to take a shower, fresh clothes, I felt better. I got in bed and I was able to rest. Like you guys need to all back up. My doctor came in at that point.
Now, I had not seen my doctor. The only person I had seen was residents. So she walks in and now this is where I want a warm and fuzzy something. And she comes in and she’s so what’s the plan? And I’m like, I dunno what the plan is. I’m so tired.
You’re on the clock once your water breaks, you’re on the clock for delivering the baby. And if you’re not gonna deliver the baby naturally, they’re gonna have to take it for a C-section. And so she was very much what are we gonna do to get this baby out? And I’m like, I just need to rest. Like she, and that’s where I was like, gosh, can you please just be nice to me for a second?
So she left. And I took a nap. I said I just need to sleep. And she let me sleep. When she came back I had dilated. So everything just. Everything just ended up working. I did tell her I am not doing the balloon again. But if you wanna start giving me Pitocin, like I’ll take it.
She’s we don’t like to give it now. And I’m like, okay, no, you don’t like to, but can you? She said Yes. And so they did give it to me and then I napped. And then when they came back I was dilated and I was like, oh, thank goodness. So from that point I felt oh, we are turning a corner here.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: And things are gonna get better.
Jamie: Yeah. I think it’s really great that you really stood up for yourself and advocated and said, get outta here. I need to rest and sleep and shower. I think that’s really awesome.
Karen: And I will say, I’d like to think that I would’ve done that myself. Without anything. But in the beginning and I, when I think back in the first room all this was new and this is I really was trusting, the doctors. And they were after the, after the second time with that Foley balloon I didn’t know what my options were.
And it was the nurses who were like, again you don’t have to do that. Don’t forget you have options. And she like reminded me listen to your body, look at what’s going on and you, the doctors need to figure out a different plan. You gotta listen to your body.
And I knew that, but I appreciated that little encouragement and bump at that time because again, you go into it thinking it’s gonna be one way, but after you’re in the hospital for 12 hours and you’re tired and emotional like you it changes a little bit on how you’re feeling.
Jamie: Yeah, definitely.
Karen: And so from that point forward, I think I was able to advocate better for myself. And I’m grateful that my doctor also responded. I felt like my doctor knew what she was doing. I felt, I felt very confident with her. Just wanted that hug or something.
So at this point in the pregnant or at this point in the labor I’m dilated, but they, or they come in and they tell me that oh, let’s see. No, I started having contractions that were very painful. That’s what it was. I have no idea if this is what, I have no idea. But I feel that I was extremely sensitive because they were poking me those three times for that Foley balloon.
Like I just feel like everything down there was like more inflamed or I just feel like it was very sensitive based on everything that they had done prior. These contractions were just very painful. And so I had asked them if they could give me the epidural. I had planned on having an epidural. I wasn’t trying, I knew that I wanted one going in. I wasn’t gonna try to win any awards of any kind. I knew that was the right decision for me.
But I asked for it early and they said, we don’t like to give it early. And I’m like, again, okay, you don’t like to, but can you? They don’t like to give it because then you’re bedridden.
I really think that this is what my body needs. ’cause I need. I need to not feel this pain. And I feel like I, if I can just relax, that everything will be fine. And so they called for the epidural. And so now I definitely know that this is in the middle of the night. This is three o’clock, four o’clock in the morning. So teaching hospital, dude comes in with his p his epidural kit and Jamie, he couldn’t get it.
Jamie: No.
Karen: I knew I was gonna get an epidural and I hadn’t been dwelling on it or thinking about it. Oh, all these are all the bad things that could happen. I just this is what this guy does for a living. He’s it’s gonna be great. This is what they do. He comes in and he can’t do it. And I’m like, oh my gosh. So now and he has to do it in between the contractions, there’s like a window and so pain stop. Like you gotta go. And he was trying, I don’t know what he was doing.
I couldn’t see, but he couldn’t get it. He tried so many times, so now he’s poking me in the back many times. And now my brain is oh my gosh what’s happening? He had to call, in the end he had to call and get a different person to come in and do it. And honestly, I’m like, for real?
What is going on? I loved my hospital when I was preparing and I’m like, what is going on with this? All these people trying these things? I am not giving this a high rating on my evaluation score. But the second guy that came in, he did it.
And then once I got the epidural, oh,
Jamie: relief
Karen: that was just my body could relax. From that point forward, it did everything that it was supposed to. By no means was it easy but I was able to do that’s what I expected from the epidural on is what I expected. Like everything that they were talking about, my body did it, my body just wasn’t ready. That’s the problem. With being induced, like you’re just not ready for it. So they’re, you’re asking your body to do something it’s not ready for.
I was listening to my doctors as far as, their recommendation to go early. I’m not, I don’t second guess it or anything, but it’s just hard on your body.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: Because you’re just not ready.
Jamie: Yeah. So how long did you push? How was that?
Karen: Yeah, so I did push for quite a while and this is when, I became also aware, again, of the peanut gallery because they were in the back. At this point when, so the epidural went in the middle of the night, I rested. And I would say mid-morning is when, things really started picking up. I had a nurse who came in and she was definitely like the one who was with me the entire time.
So she like scrubbed up and she’s I’m gonna be your person and I’m gonna be there until, until this is over. And she was the constant face. There was different residents that came in. There was different peanut gallery people who came in, but she was with me and she was amazing. And at one point there was like, the resident had left and I realized that the peanut gallery had stepped up.
And I am like. I looked at Jason and I’m like, what? Like why are these people here? Like where did the resident go? Where did that group of people go that was right here. But it turned out there was another person giving birth at the same time as me, and I think that she was having complications, so they needed extra people over there.
I don’t know how I knew that. I don’t know if somebody said it or not or something, but I was able to realize things with my delivery at this point were going normal and I was not having any complications, so just be grateful that I didn’t need those people, that the peanut gallery could do it. But it’s just weird that now they were like, like one of them was like holding my leg. I’m like, that’s weird. Like now you’re like, you were just back there with a clipboard and now you’re right up here. That’s weird.
Jamie: So funny.
Karen: So the resident came back, the peanut gallery went back and labor was good. I had a lot of water in my ears. I had to keep clearing my ears.
It was very bizarre. I didn’t expect that I had a pretty healthy, like I said I felt really good through my whole pregnancy. But this water at, during delivery, like I didn’t know that was a thing. And I did also have pregnancy carpal tunnel, which I didn’t know was a thing. I now know that it is more common than I realized, but I had never heard of it before, and that was really bizarre.
I was like, this is a pregnancy symptom. Okay. Yeah. Again, not the worst symptom to have, just bizarre and inconvenient. But not horrible or anything.
Jamie: Yeah. Finish this birth. I’m excited to hear about it.
Karen: So I am, so it’s probably it’s like mid-afternoon and things are are pumping up. The epidural went in, I would say in the middle of the night, and then I rested, and then things started going probably late morning. I would say, I don’t know, I’m gonna guess maybe 11 o’clock. Again, I have no idea what time it was. She was born at three forty two, so I feel like hard labor was, a couple hours, like that’s, maybe four hours, five hours.
It was a team effort. It was the residents and the nurses. And then when it came time, the doctor came in and it was funny because the mood shifted, like all of a sudden it, it was like, all right, the doctor’s here the tools all have to be in the spot that she likes it. And everybody’s I felt like everybody stood up straighter and everybody was like, ready to go and she was calling out orders and everybody was doing stuff.
It definitely was a mood shift. I was really focused, like the nurse was on one side and Jason was on the other, and he was amazing through the whole thing. But I know that I was really like the nurse was telling me stuff and Jason was giving me encouraging words and she was telling me like, stuff to do and those were the people that I was focused on.
I really wasn’t paying attention to anything else. My mood lighting and my, speaker and, whatever, like I don’t even know did that happen maybe? You just can’t focus on all of that. It went well. I was pushing, and it seemed like I was really cl pushing for a long time and nothing was really happening.
It was like, oh my gosh. But then it, once again, once it’s the right time, everything starts going and, she came out really easily. There were no complications, there were no issues. And I was very grateful because they’d had all those other things that had happened prior with the epidural and the Foley balloon.
I was very grateful that this part, like no issues whatsoever. You wait to hear that cry. She cried. Nice big cry. They put her on my chest and it was just, oh my gosh. Like the most amazing feeling. Jason did choose to cut the cord. Know we did wait. That is common practice. At least at this hospital to, delayed the delayed cord cutting thing. He was able to cut it. That was exciting for him. And she was on my chest and it just, it was like perfect. Like she snuggled me, we breastfed. She got out, cleaned up. She got her footprint.
Like she, she got all, the nurse gave her a little hat, she got swaddled. It was amazing. It was totally worth it. But I definitely needed all of that positive encouragement from Jason and the nurse, to get me through. ’cause it. I know that people have delivered longer or labored longer, but you know it, you’re just tired. Especially this after this whole induction thing, like you’re just tired.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: So it takes everything out of you for sure.
Jamie: Yeah. So you went in on a Sunday?
Karen: I went in on Sunday.
Jamie: When did you deliver? What day was it now?
Karen: Tuesday. Tuesday at 3 42. So PM Sunday? Yes.
Jamie: Okay. Wow.
Karen: So all of Sunday night and then all of Monday and then Tuesday. To three o’clock. Yeah.
Jamie: Oh, wow.
Karen: Which
kind of is exactly what the doctor had predicted it would be. Some had gone longer and some had gone shorter, but she had said, she had called it and I’m like, okay. I just, if she, it just is funny ’cause when she explained the process, like never in a million years did I actually feel like that’s what it was gonna that’s what it was gonna be like. But she did cover it. She just didn’t really go into a lot of the detail probably because I wouldn’t have wanted to do it if she would’ve explained it that way.
Jamie: You’re right. How was your recovery?
Karen: Oh yeah, I felt really good. I felt extremely grateful that I had time. I am a teacher and I delivered in May, so I was able to I left school and then not go back until the next school year. So I had the whole summer off and I just knew, I didn’t have to worry about work like right away. I did stay in the hospital one extra day, right immediately after giving birth because I didn’t get to my room until really late and everything was settled.
They gave me the option to either leave that next morning or stay. And I was like, I just wanna stay here. I know some people would wanna go home and be in their house, but I’m like, I just, I was so tired, I just wanted to be there. She was in my room right there. I was fine. It just felt like there was extra people to help out. And I was like, I just really wanted to stay here. So it was the right decision for me to stay an extra day.
But then when we came home, again, I mean we have a two story house. I so our bedroom is in a, was is upstairs. But it was slow moving, but there wasn’t any any major issues. But I feel very grateful that I was able to, go slow. There wasn’t any, there wasn’t any pressure, like I wasn’t feeling rushed at all to do any type of recovery or get to any, hit any milestones or anything like that. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I had the gift of time.
Jamie: So did you feel healed at six weeks or did you need more time than that?
Karen: Oh my gosh. I did notice, like at the six week mark, mentally was like, oh my gosh, people go back to work at this point. There’s no way that I felt any type of ready, not even close to ready to go back.
Part of that probably is because I mentally knew that I had the whole summer. But also just. I was just in love with my baby and just being with my baby and just soaking up all of that time and learning how to be her mom and meet her needs. And I was breastfeeding and just recovering myself and I just, going to work was just the furthest thing from my mind.
I was like, oh my gosh, why are we not like some of these other countries that give women, more time this is bananas. There’s no way that anyone should have to go back to work at six weeks.
Jamie: Yeah. Okay.
Karen: So I was not ready. Yeah. Just mentally. Physically I was ready. I was I had walked every single day of my pregnancy. I was active prior. To giving. Prior to getting pregnant, I was a runner. And my doctor said, because I was a runner I could keep running through my pregnancy, but it just didn’t feel right to me. But I did walk every single day.
My favorite day was Mondays when podcasts came out. ’cause that was the day that I got to listen while I walked. After giving birth I looked forward to my walks with her and we still go for walks now. They’re one of my favorite things to do with her. So that helped my recovery as well.
Jamie: That Awesome.
Karen: Going for walks.
Jamie: Tell us about breastfeeding. How did that go?
Karen: Oh I I think that. That was 100% a labor of love. It felt really good. I didn’t go into it with any expectations. And when it worked out I was feeling very grateful and I was just like, just marveled at that my body could do this.
And also, my friends and my sister, like everybody had been pregnant and many people had breastfed and I knew, but you don’t really know until you’re like doing it yourself. And I’m just like, wow. This is incredible what our bodies can do. Like I can’t believe my body is doing this. I am feeding my baby. This is crazy. I just, I was just overtook with those emotions all the time and I felt grateful that it worked. There was just little things that I was, just unsure about. And just, again, as a first time mom not knowing like, is this a thing or not a thing. And that’s why I felt very grateful to have the contact information of that lactation specialist.
She would answer my text like, so she wouldn’t always have to come out. Like I would just shoot her a text and be like, this is what’s happening, is this normal? And she would gimme something, gimme a response back. And it was just always, always put me at ease. We didn’t have any major issues, so she latched right away and until I went back to work, really there wasn’t any, there wasn’t any issues. When I did go back to work, I had to make the decision about what I was gonna do, and I decided that, this could be the only time that I get a chance to do this, and I wanted to go as long as possible, so I decided to pump and oh my gosh.
That’s when it became like a labor, like before going to work, it was like nice. Even getting up in the middle of the night, like I didn’t care. Like I, I had no issues. It felt good.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: Once I had to start adding the pumping, it became a thing.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: But I just still really savored those times when I got to feed her, and so it was worth the pumping for me. But I felt like it was, I, my brain was like constantly calculating what time is it? What time is the next one? Do I have everything I’m cleaning, I’m, do I have a refrigerator? Do I have a bottle? Do I have a thing? It just was so much brain space on like breastfeeding.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: I remember one day I had a a travel pump and I would pump in the car on the way to school.
Jamie: Oh, smart.
Karen: And I just, I have a 45 minute commute and I’m like I have to use this time, so I would pump on the way to school. So I had a backpack with all of these things in addition to my school bag, in addition to my lunch. I always felt like I had so many things walking into school and I was sitting in my car one day with all this stuff and this guy pulls in to the parking lot ahead of me. And I watch him get out of his car with a water bottle and he’s like flipping the water bottle. And he goes into school and I’m like, oh my gosh. Like you just have a water bottle. And I had all these things that I was trying to gather in without spilling any milk. I got so mad he didn’t do anything wrong, but I just felt oh my gosh.
But then I reminded myself that I was choosing to do this.
Jamie: Yeah.
Karen: And I wanted to do it so it, it was worth it, but it was very hard. And that was a lot of my text to the lactation person was we’re pumping related things.
Jamie: Okay.
Karen: Getting the timing right and the schedule. At first it was fine pumping, going back, but then my supply went down and then it was like, oh, this is over. Then I got really sad because I didn’t want it to be over. But then I tried a bunch of things and I was able to get my milk supply back up again. It was like always nerve wracking yes, am I gonna have enough? I was not an over producer, I was like a right on person. But because of the dealing with work it just made it was stressful. So it just made it very hard.
Jamie: So you were exclusively breastfeeding before going back to work?
Karen: Yes. Yeah.
Jamie: Oh, that’s great.
Karen: I wish I didn’t have to go back to work because I wish that I could have just continued.
Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. Pumping is just another level of tough.
Karen: I am grateful and I reminded myself all the time that I was making this choice. Yeah. And again, when I was home, like at night or on the weekends, I got to feed her and I was, I very much tried to save her. That was something that I really tried to do during the pregnancy as well.
And I feel that, I was very healthy for most of it, but I just kept saying savor this. Like even when I had that pregnancy carpal tunnel and I would wake up and I couldn’t feel my hand, I’m like, I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to have this pregnancy carpal tunnel.
I just, I felt very grateful and I think I don’t know ’cause I wasn’t pregnant in my younger years, but when you’re older you’re like, you definitely just are. Just more like it. It just means more, I think.
Jamie: I like that. Now mentally, how were you in your recovery?
Karen: Yeah, I feel like I was good. I don’t feel like I had any issues. I think it was just like adjusting to, adjusting to the new baby, adjusting, we had the dog situation, which can, you know, which was hard. Just getting used to you being a new mom and not having a ton of sleep. But I wouldn’t say that I ever had anything that was out of the ordinary or anything like that.
I know that I did not wanna go back to work that was really hard when the time came. So I did struggle with that. And I am super emotional and so every time she moved from one size diaper to the next, or we had to put, this, the newborn clothes away and get out the next size.
I was like, oh my gosh. Like she’s growing up this, I always got emotional about those things. And so that was hard. But nothing that was like hard for me, like physically postpartum blues or anything like that. It wasn’t that.
Jamie: That’s great. What a great experience.
Karen: Yeah. It felt really good except for, like I said, that Foley balloon I could have done without the epidural guy. I could have done without, but aside from that, like really I had I, I feel very blessed and I I would SI would, as I was walking, I would sing like a little positive manifestations that I wanted for Brianna and just all the positive qualities that I wanted her to have.
I feel like we have this miracle baby, like she’s a good eater. She’s a good sleeper. She’s healthy. She’s so much fun. Her personality is starting to come out, so she is like 16, 17 months now. And her personality’s really starting to show, and it’s really a fun age.
Jamie: Yeah, it really is. Carver’s only like a month or two behind her.
Karen: It was so exciting. I remember, just as we were going along, we were so close, when I would hear your updates, it was like, I just, again, I felt so grateful for this community. You guys were my support people. I did end up making a connection with through friends. I met someone who was also over 40 who had a baby, and her baby was born two. Weeks after mine.
Jamie: Oh, fun.
Karen: And she also has a daughter that’s 20 years old, older than the baby. So it’s like the same situation as us. It felt like so exciting. And I’m like, this is what it would be like if I lived by the podcast people. If we all lived in one community, if I ever met them, this is what it would be like. I feel very grateful for her support just to be able to share, just different things about how you’re feeling. ’cause again, no one else can really relate to what it feels like. Yeah. So I just, I really think that this is such a great thing that you’re doing for us.
And I’m so excited to be a part of it because it really helped me throughout my pregnancy. Every story, they were all different and, but I learned something and appreciated every story, E each and every one. I appreciate everything you did for this. I know. It’s a lot of hard work.
Jamie: Thank you. Do you have plans to have more kids in your forties?
Karen: There are no plans of anything. I think that both of us would love to see what the universe has for us. If something were to happen, whether, natural or adoption or some other way that would be amazing. If it ends up not, that would also be amazing. We don’t have any plans.
Jamie: Awesome. And what has been your biggest challenge being pregnant over 40?
Karen: I guess I, I don’t really think about my age all that often. I don’t feel, I’m gonna say quote unquote, I don’t feel like I am like geriatric or advanced maternal age. I don’t feel that way. I’m not sure about what it would’ve been like to be pregnant earlier, but I don’t feel like there was anything about it that was necessarily challenging.
I think there was some times when if, so if people would make a comment, I think that it would be a little bit challenging. But most people didn’t like being pregnant. People were so nice to you. Like all people, I’m like, wow. It like really restored my faith in humanity again.
It really was like, wow, people really go out of the way for a pregnant person. I was very focused on traveling and adventuring and careering when I was younger. So I think if I were to have gotten pregnant at that point, like I think it would’ve been harder because I would’ve been very distracted.
And not that I am not focused on my career, I’m just at a different place with it. I have a lot of experience. And so now I can do that, but also focus a little more on family. Everything happens at the right time and I feel like this is the right time for me and actually easier than if it would’ve been sooner.
Jamie: Perfect. And is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth?
Karen: Yes. I think that you should listen to this podcast because I think that between everybody’s story, you hear one of everything and you’re always learning something. It gives you different ideas and you connect with different things. So just, talking with as many people as possible.
I was pretty healthy, going, before getting pregnant. So if you are trying to get pregnant just as much as you possibly can, trying to just have a healthy, lifestyle of exercise and diet. By no means was I doing anything like major, but just trying to be as good as possible for conception and talking to as many people as possible. I think that’s what I would say.
Jamie: That’s great advice. And what advice would you give yourself when you’re pregnant? If you could go back?
Karen: Ooh. I really think that I did lean into, the positivity will like them, like saying the mantras or taking the time for meditation. Really leaning into it. But I know that I leaned into that because I had the anxieties and the worries and I’ve heard people on here before say that I wish that I would’ve worried less, but it’s so easy to say.
Jamie: Yeah,
Karen: it’s so hard to do when you’re waiting. Like I can specifically think of that time between when I found out I was pregnant and, I got the genetic testing and then from the genetic testing until the first trimester was over or the second trimester was over. You just are hitting these. Things were going very well and I was good for the most part. But worry, just like you can, your brain goes in crazy directions. And so if I could go back and change it, I would like to say that I would do it better the next time as far as less worry, but it’s just so much easier said than done.
Jamie: Yeah. And you did have an easy pre pregnancy, and I think we need to celebrate it, but there’s many women right now listening to the show that are trying to get pregnant. What advice do you have for those women?
Karen: I would say try everything. Whatever it is. I would, I am open to, to anything. And when I started listening to this podcast, I was already pregnant, but I heard so many things on this thing. I was like, oh, that’s interesting. And I would do it. I would try whatever crazy thing it was, I would absolutely go for it. So that would be my advice.
Jamie: I like that. And do you wanna give the listeners your Instagram?
Karen: Oh yeah. It’s at Whitney H 2015 at Whitney H 2015. I’m grateful to share, if there’s anybody that you know has connected with any part of my story or wants to know a little bit more. I am not on social media very much, but I will check that. If anybody sends me a message, I’d be happy to get back to you. I don’t post on there, but I would see the message. So if you have anything yeah, feel free to contact me.
Jamie: Karen, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story.
Karen: I appreciate it so much. I’m so grateful for everything you do for us, and thank you again.