Kearie has experienced eight pregnancies and delivered nine babies, but her most recent journey at age 40 was one of her most meaningful yet. As a five-time surrogate, she’s pulling back the curtain on the incredible world of gestational carrying and the miracle of helping others build their families.
On episode 4, Jamie sits down with Kearie, a mother of three whose incredible journey through motherhood includes five surrogacy pregnancies—the most recent completed at age 40. Kearie pulls back the curtain on the complexities of the surrogacy world, from the legal and medical intricacies of working with agencies and attorneys to the emotional connections formed with intended parents across the globe. She shares the fascinating details of her eighth pregnancy and ninth baby, providing a rare look at how surrogacy contracts function, the differences between gestational and traditional surrogacy, and the unique bond of carrying a child for a family in need.
The conversation also dives into the realities of pregnancy and birth after 40, offering practical advice and hope for women navigating later-in-life motherhood. Kearie and Jamie discuss everything from “curb walking” to induce labor to the revolutionary products that made recovery easier, like the “Hakaa” and specialized seatbelt adjusters. Whether you are curious about the surrogacy process, considering IVF, or simply looking for inspiration on your own fertility path, this episode is packed with warmth, wisdom, and the reminder that our bodies are capable of amazing things at any age.
About the Guest:
Originally from Allentown, Pennsylvania, and now residing in Southern California, Kearie is a mother of three adult children and a veteran gestational surrogate who has completed five incredible surrogacy journeys. Having experienced eight pregnancies and delivered nine babies—her most recent at age 41—she is a wealth of knowledge on navigating the legal and medical complexities of the surrogacy world, from international coordination to the nuances of IVF and VBACs. A firm believer that “a body in motion stays in motion,” Kearie balances her passion for helping others build families with her love for scrapbooking and life with her husband, her adult son, and her two dogs.
Connect with Kearie:
- Instagram: @surrojourney5
- ETSY: Kear Bear Boutique
Key Topics:
- The Logistics of Surrogacy: Agencies and Attorneys Why Kearie recommends using an agency to navigate the complex legal and medical steps, and how the “legal stage” ensures the birth certificate and parental rights are handled correctly.
- Gestational vs. Traditional Surrogacy A clear breakdown of why modern surrogacy almost always uses IVF, ensuring the surrogate has no genetic connection to the baby, and why “traditional” surrogacy is rarely practiced today.
- The Reality of Pregnancy at 41 Kearie reflects on her eighth pregnancy, her ninth baby, and how her energy levels and mindset shifted while carrying in her 40s compared to her 20s.
- International Surrogacy: Connecting with Parents in China and Texas The fascinating story of how Kearie communicated with parents across the globe using apps like WeChat, and the cultural differences in how surrogacy is viewed worldwide.
- The “Natural” Induction Marathon A humorous and relatable look at the things Kearie and the intended mother tried at 37 weeks to get the baby moving—including curb walking, crab walks, skip-stepping on stairs, and toasted cumin tea.
- The 20-Minute Delivery & The “Bulging Bag” The intense story of Kearie’s lightning-fast birth, the COVID-era hospital hurdles, and her successful VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).
- A Modern Miracle: Induced Lactation How the intended mother used supplements and a “tube system” to prepare her body to breastfeed her baby, even without being pregnant herself.
- Preserving the Future: IVF and Embryo Storage at 41 Kearie and Jamie discuss the decision to freeze embryos later in life and the hope it provides for women who want to expand their families in their 40s.
- Postpartum Recovery Must-Haves Kearie’s top product recommendations, including the pregnancy seatbelt adjuster, the Hakaa for milk collection, and Frida Mom witch hazel liners.
Resources & Links:
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase. I only recommend products our guests truly love!
Instagram: Follow Over 40 Fabulous and Pregnant
YouTube: Watch Episodes HERE
Recommended Products: Pregnancy Seat belt Adapter & Witch Hazel Cool Pad
Shop More: See ALL products recommended by our guests!
Support the Podcast: Donate to the Podcast
Community: Join the Over 40 Fabulous Facebook Group
Surrogacy Agency: Giving Tree Surrogacy
Transcript:
Jamie: Carrie, welcome to over 40 fabulous imp pregnant.
Kearie: Hi. Thank you for having me.
Jamie: Thanks for coming on. Before we get started, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, your family, where you’re from, kids, et cetera, hobbies, interest?
Kearie: Sure. Um, my name’s Kiri. I am originally from Allentown, Pennsylvania.
I moved to Southern California. Um, many years ago in my early twenties, um, I have a husband and yes, I’m originally from Allentown, Pennsylvania, and I moved to Southern California in my early twenties. I live with my husband, my two small dogs and one of my adult sons. Um, I have three adult kiddos. The oldest lives with his girlfriend and my youngest is my daughter, and she lives in Florida for, she’s going to college.
Um, uh, I’m 41 right now. And my hobbies, I absolutely love scrapbooking, our family photos. Um. Yeah, that’s me.
Jamie: So are you pregnant right now?
Kearie: No, currently not.
Jamie: But you were pregnant during your 40th birthday?
Kearie: I was. I spent my 40th birthday. We rented an Airbnb with the three kids and my husband and one of my dogs.
I was 21 weeks pregnant. Um, it was my eighth pregnancy, ninth baby.
Jamie: Oh my gosh, that’s so amazing. So you’ve only had one kid in your forties.
Kearie: Correct.
Jamie: And tell everyone you’ve gone through five surrogacy pregnancies.
Kearie: Yep, that’s correct. I had my three kids. My three kids were under five, under five years old, and I was 23.
And then I did five surrogacy journeys. Um. My fifth was during my 40th.
Jamie: That’s so cool. And so what inspired you to become a surrogate?
Kearie: Hmm. Um. My, my three pregnancies with my kids were very easy and no complications. Not even much nausea in the beginning. My births were each very fast. Um. No real time for epidural kind of fast.
Um, how nice. And yeah, I, there was a couple in our church when I was a teenager and they were exploring the idea of surrogacy and ultimately they ended up adopting. But that’s sort of, you know, where it started in, in my thoughts. Um
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Kearie: And, yeah, it just, it went from there.
Jamie: So how did you get connected with your first couple?
Kearie: Uh, I went through an agency, the surrogacy agency helps connect and, you know, organize each step of the way. Um,
Jamie: okay. So even if we wanted to get a surrogate, we would probably go through an agency and that’s how we would find you.
Kearie: Yeah, it’s, it’s usually the. The easiest just because a surrogacy agency can help, um, guide the entire journey if you mm-hmm.
Try to find a surrogate independently, you’re on your own, um, for everything
Jamie: uhhuh,
Kearie: so, yeah.
Jamie: So I’m sure it’s a little bit harder to navigate.
Kearie: Mm-hmm. Yes.
Jamie: And I guess, is there like an agreement that you have almost like if you’re adopting kind of a thing?
Kearie: Yeah, there’s, um, you go through the legal stage. So you have an attorney as a surrogate and the parents have their own attorney and you sign and notarize contracts.
Um, and then later the attorneys work with the courts for the birth certificate paperwork,
Jamie: uhhuh,
Kearie: that way. The surrogate’s name is not put on the, on the birth certificate.
Jamie: Oh, that makes sense.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie: Fascinating. So do they get involved on how you eat and how you have birth, that sort of thing?
Kearie: Um, certain things are included in the contract.
Um, each. Parents are different. Each contract is essentially different. Each clinic and OB mm-hmm. Is different. Um, but in general, the contracts usually say a few things about your diet. Um, I believe it’s usually in there about, um, ham. There’s like certain lunch meats because of bacteria and cheeses.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, fascinating. But you have to eat healthy, you have to, you know, keep yourself healthy, take your prenatal vitamins, that sort of thing. Um,
Jamie: sure. So I guess. When you get pregnant, you do I guess an I-U-I-I-V-F. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Oh, they have an already embryo
Kearie: Yes.
Jamie: That they I implant.
Kearie: Yes, exactly.
Exactly. Oh,
Jamie: that’s fascinating.
Kearie: That way
Jamie: is that,
Kearie: oh, I was just gonna say that way the. The entire genetics of the embryo is not related to the surrogate.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Kearie: There are. That
Jamie: makes total sense.
Kearie: Yeah. There’s, there’s another type of surrogacy, um, it’s called traditional surrogacy. That’s like you were saying, IUI where they use the surrogates, um, egg.
They time it mm-hmm. For ovulation and stuff. But that’s not common. Um, only because it. The embryo, eventually baby, will be related to the surrogate and essentially that would be adoption. Um mm-hmm. There’s just too much liability and complications that can arise after birth, um, Uhhuh. So it’s not very common and most agencies don’t facilitate that either.
Jamie: Yeah, that makes total sense.
Kearie: Yeah.
Jamie: So when, uh, during your pregnancy, how different was this in your forties than it was previously?
Kearie: Um, every pregnancy is definitely different. Um, this one was a little less energy for sure. Um, mm-hmm. But, you know, a body in motion stays in motion, so if you give into that.
You know, exhaustion. I, I just personally feel like you’re gonna feel more exhausted. Um.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know, it’s, it’s good to stay active, you know, walk around, not, you know, just not just your house. Take a walk around the block. Um, eventually towards the very end, my intended mother came to California and we would go on hikes together.
Um.
Jamie: Oh, neat.
Kearie: It’s, it’s healthy, you know, it’s good for the fresh air. It’s good for your body. Yeah, it’s good for circulation. Um,
Jamie: yeah. It’s also a good bonding time too.
Kearie: Yes, definitely. Definitely.
Jamie: So how much communication or how do you communicate to the intended parents during your pregnancy?
Kearie: Um, each one was different.
Um. For example, my first, we mostly talked through email. Um, currently we’re on Facebook together. Um, my other journeys, we, they lived in China, so we would communicate through an app called WeChat.
Jamie: Wow.
Kearie: And this one, um, they’re domestic, so they live in Texas and we just text Uhhuh and call, you know, video chat.
Jamie: Now what China do they not have surrogacy in China?
Kearie: No. They usually come to America, or more specifically California, to look for a surrogate. Um, the laws in China and other countries as well aren’t so favoritism towards, you know, it’s kind of frowned upon
Jamie: uhhuh. I had no idea. That’s so fascinating.
Kearie: Yeah.
Some, some of the states here are also like that the laws are very specific and I think in Canada you cannot be, um. You cannot receive compensation. There’s there every country and ultimately here in the states, each, each one has their own laws and yeah, it’s complicated. That’s why you have to have attorneys involved.
Jamie: Oh, yeah. Yeah. It seems more complicated than, than adoption to me. Do you agree?
Kearie: I’m not. I’m not entirely sure, only because with adoption, uh, yeah, I’m not really familiar with adoption process. Um hmm. But they each have their own, you know, specifics and rules and, and whatnot.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. So did the intended parents know the sex when, um, it was.
You know, at the embryo stage,
Kearie: um, you can, you can have, uh, genetic testing done on the embryo to know ahead of time. Uhhuh, my very first, they did not. Um, and then I think back then it wasn’t so common. Um, my first, uh, was in 2011, so I don’t think genetic testing was Yeah, very. Calm and done. But then by my second, um, I had her in 2015 and yeah, each one had genetic testing on it, on the embryo.
Mm-hmm. And so they knew genetically that, you know, the baby was going to, supposed to be okay, there’s like this teeny tiny little maybe 0.1% chance that the genetic testing is inaccurate. Mm-hmm. Um. So that’s why you have to do more genetic testing while you’re pregnant. Um,
Jamie: Uhhuh,
Kearie: but yeah.
Jamie: Fascinating.
We’re, we’re gonna do IVF and I just can’t decide, like, do we wanna know? Because I don’t think I wanna know, but you know, you can know from pretty much day one.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah. We have, um, a little tidbit. We have, um, embryos. Created and, and stored me and my husband, um, Uhhuh just in case we’re, we’re unsure, you know, um, I’ve always taken one pregnancy at a time.
Um
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Kearie: And yeah. Now the other kids, they’re all grown and. Uh, now we’re contemplating what are our next steps? Um,
ooh,
Jamie: how fun.
Kearie: So we have embryos. We’re just, and we, we do know the, the gender, um, the genders.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Kearie: We’re just unsure yet, you know, if we wanna move forward or not. It’s a, it’s a big thing.
It’s a big
Jamie: step. Yeah. Tell me, when did you have your egg retrieval? Like how old were you?
Kearie: Um. Let me think. It was after the twins. Yeah, so it was after the twins. So 2019, I believe I was 38.
Jamie: Okay. Mm-hmm. Because I were gonna do egg retrieval, I think in like a month or two. Mm-hmm. And I’m just like thinking like.
What’s the expectation for this? You know, I’m just curious.
Kearie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The only, the only thing that kind of threw me off just because of being a surrogate prior, is with egg retrieval, you actually have anesthesia. You kind of really to sleep. Um, I have a, a minor fear of that. Um, so, oh,
Jamie: you don’t like anesthesia?
Kearie: No, I. Honestly, I’ve just always been nervous that I won’t wake back up,
but I got through it. I, I did it. And um, that’s a little bit one of the things that we’ve been hesitant about because we were considering another egg retrieval or not. Oh,
Jamie: okay.
Kearie: Yeah, I’m a little older now. Um, I’m 41 and a half. So time’s ticking. We have decisions that we have to make soon.
Jamie: Yeah, I think we’re about the same age.
Okay. My birthday’s in April. When is yours?
Kearie: July. So right around.
Jamie: Okay. Yeah, we’re really close and I’m like, let’s get these eggs out quickly.
Kearie: Yes, exactly.
Jamie: Before it’s too late.
Kearie: Yes. Yep.
Jamie: So how are you preparing for birth? Like you’ve been pregnant several times. Do. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like you need to prepare?
Kearie: Um.
No, I, from my very first, um, my very first, I was very young. I was, I had just turned 18 and I planned for the epidural. I got the epidural at, um, 5:45 PM
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Kearie: And he was crowning by 6 0 5.
Jamie: Oh my God. Stop it.
Kearie: So after that I was like, okay, there’s no point in, I just have to push through it. And so I did every, every kiddo.
So my plan each time is. Not really just get to the hospital
Jamie: on time. Yeah.
Kearie: Um, my advice for others is have a hopeful expectation, but stay open-minded because literally anything can happen. Mm-hmm.
Um,
yeah. Every pregnancy has its own, um, thing about it, every birth as well. Um,
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Kearie: You just, you know, it’s life.
You, you can try to plan, but just stay open-minded.
Jamie: Yeah. So tell me about your cravings for this last pregnancy.
Kearie: Um, this one, my most common cravings through the entire thing was string cheese, which I’m thinking. Maybe I hadn’t drank enough milk, so maybe my body was craving that. Um, those kind of vitamins.
Mm-hmm. Gram crackers and power aid. I had little cravings random here and there, but those were my most steady through the entire thing. Every time I was thirsty, I was like, I need a Powerade. I need some sort of Gatorade. Powerade, you know.
Jamie: Like maybe your body is asking for electrolytes.
Kearie: Electrolytes, yes.
Yes. Each craving, you know, I think there’s some sort of basis to it. You know, the cra the crackers, I haven’t figured out yet though.
Jamie: I mean, graham crackers are delicious anyway.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie: So I guess classes, wises you, do you take any, like with the parents or do you help prepare the parents in any way during your pregnancy?
Kearie: No. My most recent, um, she was, she’s around the same age as me, so she was over 40 as well. Um, so she. Had a book and she listened to podcasts. Um, yeah, just any kind of social, um, social media things that she could do while at the same time as like working or cleaning or,
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Kearie: Thankfully we have that these days.
Jamie: Yes, it’s very nice. And what about products? Was there any like, um, products or anything that kind of helped you through pregnancy?
Kearie: Uh, I definitely recommend that seatbelt, it’s, it’s a little annoying to connect to your, your seat in the car. Um mm-hmm. But. Uh, it was my first time using it with this pregnancy as opposed to every single one before that.
And mm-hmm. I wish I had just because when you’re driving or when you’re riding, um, the seatbelt, especially as your belly gets bigger, it, it pushes and I would always find myself. Sort of loosening the seatbelt and driving with one hand and holding the seatbelt away from my belly with the other. But,
Jamie: oh gosh,
Kearie: after I got that seatbelt connector.
Uh, adjuster. I don’t know what it’s called. Um, it’s amazing. Um, that one I definitely recommend. And then after birth, uh, my intended mother, she had gotten me these haka tubes, um, suction mm-hmm. Tubes. And it helps draw out the drops of milk in the very first, like week or two till your milk is fully produced.
Um, mm-hmm. Yeah. The, I think it’s called haka something.
Jamie: Okay. I’ll look that up and we’ll probably leave that in the show notes.
Kearie: Mm-hmm. Sounds
Jamie: haka tubes.
Kearie: Yeah. H-A-K-A-A. And they’re little suction tubes that you could squeeze, um, when you’re trying to, like, squeeze out the drops of milk.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Kearie: Um, and then it collects it in the, in the small tube.
Jamie: Interesting. So back to the seatbelt. Mm-hmm. Is the seat, does the seatbelt connection like go above your belly or does it go lower?
Kearie: Uh, lower. So actually, so the, the belt connects to where you sit.
Jamie: Mm.
Kearie: And it makes it so that the seatbelt goes across your chest and then in between your thighs.
So
Kearie: it kind of goes across your, across each of your thigh.
Jamie: Gotcha. That does seem much safer for the baby. So it’s not pressure on the baby.
Kearie: Yeah, exactly. And if, God forbid there’s an accident as well, it doesn’t squish or you know, I don’t know. I’ve never been in an accident pregnant like that, but I can imagine, um, what,
Jamie: yeah, I
don’t
Kearie: know.
Jamie: Yeah. That’s such a great idea.
Kearie: Yeah.
Jamie: How did you stumble upon that?
Kearie: Um, I think my intended mom showed it to me. She probably found it on social media. Oh
Jamie: wow. That’s cool.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie: So. Let’s talk about the birth. How did that start?
Kearie: Um, so leading up. To the last few weeks, uh, me and the intended mom were, she was very anxious to have baby born and mm-hmm. We were literally trying every single thing that you could, you’ve ever heard about any kind of recommendation to get Baby out Uhhuh? Yeah, every time we would go to the store together, we would talk to cashiers, anybody in line asking for recommendations, what they’ve heard of.
And so we’ve tried everything and
Jamie: Ooh, what? What have you tried?
Kearie: Oh wow,
Jamie: that’s kind of weird.
Kearie: Oh, wow. Um, tea, um, different. Um, exercises. They’re not exercises. Like one is a crab walk. Uh, yes. Yeah. Where you kind of crouch down on the floor, um, and walk on. Yeah. It’s so silly. And you, what else? The, the curb walking, you kind of ha half walk on the side of the curb and half on the street, up, down, up, down.
Mm-hmm. Um. Walking up and down the stairs, quite silly. Um, like you skip two steps with the one leg and skip one step with the other leg. Uhhuh, um, cumin. Toasted cumin into, I think it was cumin into a tea. Mm-hmm. Um, different teas, different foods, drinking a whole. A whole container of orange juice all at once.
Jamie: Whoa,
Kearie: there’s so many. There’s so
Jamie: many. And what, what week did you start trying these things?
Kearie: Um, I think it was at 37 37 weeks.
Jamie: Okay. That’s kind of early. She wanted to really have this baby.
Kearie: Yeah, yeah. Um, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not like that. It, it’s truly up to your body. And the baby
Jamie: Uhhuh
Kearie: baby was not born until 39.
Four days.
Jamie: She really had to wait.
Kearie: Yeah. Poor thing. Poor thing. But we were trying up until, up until birthday.
Jamie: So what happened that day? Take me through it.
Kearie: Um, I think it was the day before the doctor did my second membrane sweep. Um. It was either the day before or two days prior. And so I, on birthday, I woke up at, I believe it was 2:45 AM and I had contractions and prior to this, I think I literally had like two contractions.
Prior, like
mm-hmm.
In pregnancy? No, Braxton Hicks, nothing. Wow. Um, so I just figured it was that, and I waited and I got my little contraction timer on, you know, an app and. Every time I felt one, I put it in the app. And by three 15 I noticed they were quite often. So I woke up. My husband, I, we called the intended mom.
She’s down the street in a, in a hotel. And, um, during this pregnancy. Mm. Both me and my husband and the intended parents had a brilliant idea of each buying a house. So we had Uhhuh, we had gone through all the drama each, you know, she had moved to a new house. I had moved to a new house. Um. That in itself, I do not recommend during pregnancy.
Jamie: Yeah. That seems tough and stressful.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah. Um, so in doing so, we now live an hour away from my OB and my hospital. Mm-hmm. Um, so we scooped her up and we got to the hospital and. When we entered the hospital, the security would not let the two of them pass until they showed their COVID VEX cards. So they’re trying to fumble and take it out of their wallets and purses.
And in the meantime, they took me in the wheelchair to the, um, just a little checkout checking station. Mm-hmm. And they got me a gown and laid me on the table and the nurse was like. Holy cow, your bag is bulging. The baby is right there. And immediately I kind of pushed her away with my feet and crossed my legs and I said, I’m not doing anything until my husband and the intended mom is in this room.
And
Jamie: Oh, that’s funny.
Kearie: As soon as they peeked around the corner, I was like. You guys can pop the bag. And they did. And baby was born by five oh five.
Jamie: Whoa.
Kearie: So two 15, no, 2 45 to three 15. Drive to the hospital. I think we got there at four 30 or 4 45 ’cause we still had to pick up her. So we got to the hospital by 4 45 and 5 0 5.
So 20 minutes from the time I walked in the hospital till birth.
Jamie: What a dream.
Kearie: Yeah, it, it was intense. It was scary in, in the drive, in getting there. Um, but once I was there, I was thankful. Um, the whole pregnancy, I, so my prior pregnancy was my first C-section because I had the twins. Oh, and it was a different ob, um, per those parents’ wishes.
Mm-hmm. And I didn’t find out until very late in the pregnancy that that OB had a protocol of twins equal C-section, end of story. Like there’s no, there’s no trying vaginal on my watch type of thing.
Jamie: Surprise.
Kearie: Yeah. Horrible. Yeah. So for this pregnancy, I. Really, really wanted to try for vbac uh, vaginal birth after C-section.
And yeah, thankfully everything, I got what I wanted and everything went well. Baby was born healthy and everybody’s good.
Jamie: So the parents made it in. And your husband made it in the room?
Kearie: Yep. Yeah. The intended mom was able to cut the cord.
Jamie: Oh, how special.
Kearie: Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was very, very nice. Um, picture perfect.
Jamie: Yeah. So how was recovery for you? How was that different in your forties than before?
Kearie: Um, just, I, I think it, everything was okay. Just a little bit more tired. Um. I, IPI was pumping milk as well. Um, so that could be it as also because, you know, with pumping milk, you have to wake, at least I did. Um, I would wake up every three hours, um, through the night, 24 hours a day every three hours, faithful.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Kearie: So maybe that’s part of it, but. You know, you, you can’t, you can’t give into that. You know, you have to, you have to keep going. You have to keep pushing because. Your mom.
Jamie: Yeah. So I saw one of your Instagram posts mm-hmm. Said something about the intended mother. Can breastfeed. Tell me more about that.
Kearie: Oh, such a, such a wonderful thing. Our bodies are so amazing. Um, so she, during my pregnancy from the, from early, uh, she started taking vitamins and seeing a lactation consultant and. I don’t know the specifics of, of the vitamins and I, I’m not sure if there’s medications. I think it’s all supplements though.
Um. But then around, I think seven months pregnant, she started, she would start to pump and yeah, afterwards, after the baby was born, um, she had her supply frozen and she would alternate it or. Um, I’m not sure, maybe she mixed it, my, my milk with hers. Um, but she would, she has this small tube system so that way she can breastfeed and also feed the milk, um, the frozen milk.
Jamie: Oh,
Kearie: and then through
Jamie: the small tube,
Kearie: through the small tube, but kind of goes in the side of his mouth and then. Um, him sucking will help. Would help her supply.
Jamie: So you’re telling me if I take supplements and start pumping mm-hmm. I can produce milk.
Kearie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Women’s bodies are amazing. It’s, it’s all hormonal.
Um,
Jamie: wow.
Kearie: But yeah. Yep.
Jamie: But how special it is for that intended mom to be able to give that to her new baby.
Kearie: So special. So
Jamie: that’s really neat.
Kearie: It’s, it’s surreal. It’s, it’s just amazing. I’m so thankful that she had that decision, you know, and, and she did such a good job sticking with it. There’s. A lot of vitamins and supplements and I mean, I’m talking like maybe seven, nine per day, maybe even more.
But she would just plop ’em in her mouth and swallow and
Wow.
I was just amazed. ’cause me and pills don’t get along. I, it’s. Very, very difficult for me to swallow a, a prenatal, and there she is, swallowing, you know, 7, 8, 9, all at one shot every day for months and months.
Jamie: Mothers can be so dedicated.
Definitely. It’s beautiful.
Kearie: Definitely.
Jamie: Wow. Okay. So you, you met, you might have plans to have more kids in your forties.
Kearie: We’ll see. Yeah. We’ll see, we’ve, we’ve, we’ve talked about all of it. Um mm-hmm. You know, keeping life as is and focusing on us. And I have a senior dog, but we also got a new puppy. She’s, um. I think she’s eight months now. A little Pomeranian.
Oh, how fun. So. That’s kind of given us a little taste, just a small taste of raising a baby. Uhhuh,
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Kearie: Um, we’ve talked about foster care, we’ve talked about potentially adoption, and then of course the IVF, um, treatment. So completely undecided at this point,
Jamie: and that’s okay.
Kearie: Yeah, yeah, I think so. You know, I actually heard, um.
Of of women doing IVF in their late forties.
Jamie: Really?
Kearie: Like, perhaps I would assume that either it’s an egg donor or, um, their eggs were retrieved earlier, but being pregnant and carrying their child in their late forties. So to me, this is. I have time.
Jamie: Yeah. It really gives all these women hope, including me.
Kearie: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
Jamie: Because, ’cause I kind of wanna have two kids. Mm-hmm. And I’m just thinking, wait, if I calculate it now, you know, that means I could be totally, you know, potentially pregnant at like 43, 44.
Kearie: Mm-hmm. Hmm.
Jamie: Yeah. And the first thing I think of is, I’m too old, but late forties. That’s, that sounds amazing.
Kearie: That is society throwing that in your head.
Jamie: It’s
Kearie: right. Because
Jamie: I think so too.
Kearie: I don’t think we’re too old.
Jamie: I don’t think so either. I mean, as long as we take care of our body
Kearie: mm-hmm.
Jamie: I think we can do anything. Yep.
Kearie: Absolutely, absolutely. We’ve even contemplated, um, transferring one of each gender and, you know, whatever happens, happens.
Because if you have twins, I’m a glutton for punishment. Um, twins, you know, you, you’re done. ’cause I’ve had so many pregnancies, I don’t know if my body will, you know. Cooperate for two more. Um, but like you, I, I would love to have two as well. If I have any more. I would like to have two, not just one. Um,
Jamie: yeah.
So they’re probably not alone, I guess.
Kearie: Yeah, that’s, yeah, exactly.
Jamie: Because there’s such a gap in your children, it would almost be like,
Kearie: yeah,
Jamie: one kid again. Yeah. Yeah.
Kearie: Yeah. Yep.
Jamie: That’s exciting.
Kearie: Yeah, it’s emotional. It’s exci. It’s like every emotion. It’s exciting, it’s nervousness, it’s scary. Uh, yes.
Jamie: So are you, do you get less scared the more pregnancies you have, or is it the same fear all over again?
Kearie: Uh, no. I, I think each one, each one had its own challenge and, and brought out its own like fear, I guess. Um
Jamie: mm-hmm.
Kearie: Worry, but. For me, it’s always been more the the third trimester slash birth. Am I gonna get there in time? Is everything gonna go okay in birth? You know that, that sort of thing.
Jamie: Yeah. So I guess because your pregnancies are so fast mm-hmm.
Do you ever, I’m sorry, your births are so fast. Mm-hmm. Do you have any tearing.
Kearie: No, but I did for my first, um, and then I think for my, my first child, and then I think I remember for my second, they, they cut me so that I wouldn’t tear. Hmm. Um, after that I don’t remember. Um, I just, I, I remember my first, because when I tore.
Uh, I was also 18. Um, but afterwards in the recovery, it, it burns when you have to go to the restroom, it burns like, oh, so they, in the hospital, they give you this water bottle, um, that you could, you fill it up with warm water and then you go to the bathroom and you could use it to squeeze as your. Mm, urinating peeing, Uhhuh,
Uhhuh.
Um, and it definitely helps, um, a quick product, uh, recommendation after birth. Um, there’s these wipes, wait, what are they called? Liners, wipey liners. They’re from Frida. It’s a purple brand. Um. They’re, they have witch hazel. The point is they have witch hazel and
mm-hmm.
You can put ’em inside your underwear or panty liner and it cools and it helps with swelling down there.
Um, oh, top recommendation.
Jamie: That’s
Kearie: good.
Jamie: Noted. I’ll leave that in the show notes also. Okay.
Kearie: Alright.
Jamie: That’s great. Anything else you want to add?
Kearie: Um, yes. Um, for conceiving naturally, um, without IVF, I just want to tell others, um, don’t give up. Um, even. In consulting with an IVF doctor. Mm-hmm. Um, sometimes the IVF doctor might recommend something that almost seems counterproductive.
For example, birth control pills for maybe a month or two months. But in the end it helps conceive, um, just don’t give up. You know, sometimes the stress and the anxiety of. Is it gonna happen this month? Do we have to wait another month? You know, sometimes that actually mm-hmm. Slows down and complicates your, the pregnancy process.
So just, just stay relaxed, you know, don’t give up.
Jamie: That’s such good advice.
Kearie: Thanks.
Jamie: Um, and if people wanna find out more, where can they go to find you? Instagram. Is that the right place? Yes.
Kearie: Instagram. I can’t remember the name
from my, I think it’s UR five.
Jamie: Okay, I’ll leave it in the description. Yes, please.
So we can, we can link to that. No problem.
Kearie: Um, my, my Instagram I had started, um, it’s, it’s meant for the parents to have a digital copy, but there’s, from the very, very beginning, it documents my entire journey. Um, and, uh. I, in the description part, I leave notes that, especially in the very beginning of the process, it can help other, um, intended parents and even surrogates through the process.
Um, like through the legal contract and, oh, um, just the injections, um, all of it.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. That’s really great. That’s really helpful. Yeah.
Kearie: Thanks.
Jamie: Well, thank you so much for coming on the show, Kiri.
Kearie: Thank you for having me. I’m so glad we met.
Jamie: Yeah, me too. And please keep me posted on your future plan.
Kearie: Will do.
Definitely. Definitely
stick together. I can pick you up when you’re heading down, when it all just sucks. I’ll be your Charlie Brown. You can make me laugh when I wanna cry. In a welcome back, we’re on an all time high and it wouldn’t be the same without you. We have yet so many stupid things to do. Your only thing I’m holding onto anywhere, anything I’ll.
Don’t, and we’ll stick.
Together.