What does pregnancy look like when you’re a grandmother, a mother of eight, and nearing your 41st birthday? Jodie joins us from Alabama to share the incredible story of her ninth pregnancy. By contrasting her experience at 18 with her pregnancy at 40, she reveals the life-changing power of knowing your body and how motherhood only gets better with age.
On episode 42, a spontaneous pregnancy at 40, Jodie shares how she shifted away from the standard medical narrative of “advanced maternal age” to cultivate a profound sense of body literacy and self-trust. We explore how understanding your own physical and emotional cues can shift the entire pregnancy experience from one of fear and monitoring to one of strength and sovereignty.
You’ll hear how Jodie’s commitment to knowing her body laid the foundation for her unique, unassisted hospital birth. By prioritizing her internal compass over external expectations, she reclaimed her power during her pregnancy over 40, proving that when a woman is truly “fabulous and pregnant,” she becomes her own best advocate. Whether you are currently pregnant or planning your journey, this episode is a masterclass in trusting the innate wisdom of your body.
About the Guest
Jodie, from Alabama is a dedicated stay-at-home mother of nine who brings a wealth of wisdom to the conversation on pregnancy at 40. Having navigated her first pregnancy at 18, Jodie shares the unique perspective of being a mother across three decades—now a grandmother welcoming her ninth child (six girls and three boys) just before her 41st birthday. After experiencing the ease of youth during her first pregnancy and the life shifts of divorce and remarriage, Jodie has spent her current journey mastering body literacy. Her story is a testament to the fact that whether it is your first child or your ninth, knowing your body is the key to an empowered pregnancy journey.
Key Topics
- Pregnancy Across Decades: Comparing the experience of being pregnant at 18 versus pregnancy at 40.
- The Power of Experience: How being a mother of nine and a grandmother shaped Jodie’s intuitive approach to her latest journey.
- Staying “Fabulous” through Nine: Jodie’s perspective on health, fitness, and body changes from her teens to her 40s.
- Body Literacy as a Veteran Mom: Why even an experienced mother needs to stay deeply “in tune” with her body’s evolving needs.
- Managing a Large Household: The reality of being a stay-at-home mom to eight children while preparing for a new arrival at 40.
Resources & Links
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase. I only recommend products our guests truly love!
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Shop More: See ALL products recommended by our guests!
Recommended Podcasts: Free Birth Society Podcast & Indie Birth Podcast
Recommended App: Fertility Friend App – great to track your cycle!
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Community: Join the Over 40 Fabulous Facebook Group
Transcript
Jamie: Jodie, thank you so much for coming on the show. Welcome on.
Jodie: Thanks for having me.
Jamie: And today we are here to talk about Jodie’s pregnancy at 40, right before she turned 41. So let’s go back whenever. You were pregnant, I guess, your first time, just to help explain Okay. Your pregnancies.
Jodie: So my very first time I was young. I had my oldest son, Darren, when I was 18. So it was, I just didn’t know anything about anything. But I figured it out. His father and I ended up getting divorced later when he was about two and a half. And that pregnancy was, I guess, not very difficult.
I was young, I was healthy, I was in shape. I it didn’t really, I had some morning sickness at the beginning, but then that went away. And then. He was born, he was my only child that was born on his due date.
Jamie: And now when, when, when did your atopic happen? I thought that’s what we were talking about.
Jodie: Oh, I’m sorry. That was the atopic was in 2012, so that would’ve been month. I’m sorry. That would’ve been my fourth child, but I lost, I lost the baby and I lost my tube in the process.
Jamie: Okay. It was an atopic pregnancy?
Jodie: It was, yes. That was my fourth pregnancy. Yeah. That, I had gotten pregnant that time and we were really excited. But I started having some cramping when I was about, I don’t know, maybe six weeks or so along. And I went to my regular doctor and they checked my HCG levels and they said, well, it looked fine, but come back in a few days and we’ll check them again.
So I went back and they had dropped, so they said, you’re probably going to have a miscarriage or something’s going on. And then my cramping got worse. And so I went to the ER and I saw a different doctor and they tried to do, transvaginal ultrasound, but they couldn’t even see the baby because he was so tiny, I guess.
And they basically just sent me home and said, just monitor what’s going on. I kept thinking like, why am I not bleeding? I’m just cramping what’s going on? And I had never dealt with an ectopic pregnancy before, so I don’t know why, but it, it popped into my head like, this is probably an ectopic pre pregnancy and I don’t know why, but I was, once it was in my head, I was so certain that’s what was going on.
And, so I ended up going home from the er and I was supposed to have a follow up like in three days. I think that was on a Friday. And I was supposed to go back on Monday to check HCG levels again. And then I went home and the next day I remember I had, I was still cramping, my husband was trying to let me rest, and I remember going to the bathroom and he was on his phone with his mother telling her like what was going on.
And that my cramping was getting worse. And when I stood up from the toilet, I think that’s when my tube burst because I almost passed out. And it was like a noticeable like pop. In my abdomen. And I kind of like fell towards my, I had like a jacuzzi tub at that time. I kind of fell over there because immediately I felt like I was gonna pass out.
And also like, I was like so nauseous I thought I was gonna throw up, so I was gonna throw up into the bathtub. Because ever the practical person I’m, I didn’t wanna have to have a mess to clean up. But yeah, I still, I still remember like that, how that felt. I feel like anything huge like that, that has happened in my life, I tell my husband it’s, I call it muscle memory because it’s just like something so huge, it like changes your life.
And I, I still remember the way that I feel like I started crying and I told him, you know, I was really nauseous so I could barely talk, but I told him like, something’s wrong, we gotta go to the hospital. So he got off the phone with his mom and told her, we’re gonna come and drop off the other kids and go to the hospital.
So he took me to the hospital and then by that evening, the ob, GYN came in and checked my stomach and by then it was full of blood and it was hard for me to breathe. And he confirmed the ectopic and said that we would do surgery the next morning. So we did.
Jamie: I can’t believe they waited that long.
Jodie: I don’t know why they waited that long, because I was like struggling to breathe already from the amount of blood that was in my abdomen. Yeah. And I was like already trying to mourn and like just deal with all this stuff. I also had like a baby that was still nursing, but he was older. He was a toddler already, so it wasn’t so huge. By the time they came to get me to do the surgery, I was really struggling to take deep breaths and it hurt really bad. And I remember afterwards waking up in the room and I just started bawling my eyes out. The baby was so small at that point, but like when you know something is inhabiting there and then they’re not it just made me feel kind of empty inside. One of my friends happened to call me and I just like really lost it then. And I was just telling her, you know, they took my baby and I was just, she started crying and then we were both crying . But, after that, the doctor came and checked. He said that my fertility might be affected after that point because I only had one tube left and they couldn’t save the tube. It had dispersed and just there was no repairing it. I think this is probably a national law, but in the state of Alabama, they require that the tissue be sent, off to a lab for testing to see if they can determine what happened. They did that, but we talked to the nurse and the doctor, and actually we ended up talking to the CEO of the hospital because we told them that we wanted our baby back because we wanted him to be buried. They were able to do that for us. We were able to bury that baby and we have a headstone and we go put flowers and everything.
So that, that’s been helpful even though like, he’s not in there, but, we buried him. It, it did help with some healing. And then the other kids are aware of how we honor this little guy who, should have been a member of our family.
Jamie: That’s beautiful. Now, now you have one Ian Tube and you have three kids and you go on to have kids with little problems I would say.
Jodie: Yeah, I ended up getting pregnant in February of 2012. And I got pregnant not very long after that, because then I had my rainbow baby in March of 2013. So it was pretty quick.
Jamie: Yeah. That’s great.
Jodie: Yeah, it was great. Probably not ideal as far as healing was concerned. I mean, it just happened.
Jamie: And you know, I think it just goes to show that doctors are saying you might have problems with fertility, but over and over women with one fallopian tube are able to get pregnant.
Jodie: That’s yeah, that’s super cool to me.
Jamie: That’s great. So now you have a few more kids and you are 40 and tell our listeners you don’t really plan to have kids, but they’re not a surprise either. Can you help explain that a little bit?
Jodie: First let me mention that after I had my Rainbow baby, I had another miscarriage, and then I had another rainbow baby. My eighth baby is the one that we’re talking about where I, got pregnant when I was 40 and had her when I was almost 41.
I have been charting and doing natural family planning for so many years. I kind of know what my cycle is doing, although in the past few years, I don’t know if it’s age or it may have something to do with breastfeeding. I mean, anytime you’re charting, a lot of things can change your results as far as what your body’s doing with hormones and ovulation and all of that.
So that’s how I kind of keep track what my body’s doing. And if I’m not sure or I know for a fact that I’ve ovulated based on taking my temperature, then my husband and I just choose to abstain or whatever. And so when we do get pregnant though. And there ha there have been a couple that I wouldn’t call, I don’t like the term Oops. Oops, baby. Because I don’t think any children are. Oops. But I, you know, there have been times where I, my ovulation has been off and I didn’t realize it, and that was how the last two babies came about. Because I, I ovulated late and I didn’t realize it until I looked back at my chart. Mm-hmm. You know, watching my temperatures and it usually your temperature goes up after you ovulate, and then when it’s time to start your cycle, it goes, it drops down again. Well, when I saw that my temperature wasn’t dropping down and it was close to the time I should be starting my period, I yeah, I figured out pretty quick that I was .
Jamie: And what helped you learn to chart? Was there a book or anything that helped you?
Jodie: Yes. There was a book that I read way back, like, I don’t know, it’s been at least probably 14 years since I started charting. So back then there was this super thorough book called The Art of Natural Family Planning, which is put out by a Catholic company. But it’s just like, like if you’re gonna get in deep about your cycle and how to chart and all the different ways you can chart and everything, that’s the book.
But honestly, I never read it front to back because it was just so much information. Mm-hmm. And by then I was already a busy mom. So what I ended up doing was I found this app called Fertility Friend and once you sign up they will send you free emails, like daily emails over the course of, I think 30 days or something. And it, it basically teaches you through email how to chart and what things can change your results and all of that. So that’s basically how I learned. Oh, neat. Yeah, it’s been really helpful because it was easy for me to learn that way. You know, ’cause it was just short little lessons over the course of 30 days or whatever it was. If I had a question or concern, I would just look it up myself.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. So was your ovulation off with this one?
Jodie: It was, yes, it, it was for her and also for the baby.
Previous, I had ovulated late both times. Mm-hmm. But I didn’t realize it until my temperature wasn’t dropping to start my cycle. And then I looked back at my chart and I was like, and, and like our my husband’s and I like what we had been doing and what my ovulation had been doing. And I was like, oh,
Jamie: there it’s. But how, it’s so empowering to know exactly what happened.
Jodie: It’s really cool. I love that. Like, and I don’t, I probably go over the top, ’cause I’ll put little notes in like as to like, if I was sick. If my baby that was nursing was nursing more like anything that will throw my ovulation off or my results, I, put in there because I wanna know what my body’s doing.
And I think even now with me getting older, I need to be paying closer attention to that because it is going to be changing due to age.
Jamie: Sure. And so was your cycle off and you were late and that’s what kind of triggered you?
Jodie: My period was not off. My ovulation was so it, I just ovulated late and so usually, you know, I would’ve ovulated the week before.
Mm-hmm. So that’s when I would’ve said like, Hey, you know, like, I’m I ovulated, let’s like stand over there to my husband. But this, the last two times, I ovulated a week later, and so we had already resumed normal activity.
Jamie: Right. So, a whole week off. That’s really fascinating. I didn’t know your cycle could be off that much.
Jodie: Yeah, I am learning still because now you know, I’m still nursing my youngest the baby I had when I was almost 41, she just turned a year in March. And lately I have been ovulating right before I start my period, which is super weird to me.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jodie: And also like once we get that close to me, starting my period, like my husband and I are like, okay, fine.
Like, we’re fine. But you know, like I’ve been watching my cycle for the past three cycles and it’s happened every single month. Where I ovulate like a day or two, and then I start my period. So that’s been kind of odd and I can only like, so I’ve been kind of turning the wheels trying to figure out like, but why is that happening?
Yeah. Because that’s never happened before. Mm-hmm. And then even my husband was like, well how does that make sense? Because if you’re ovulating and then you have your period, how like, so does that mean your body’s like, not like a pregnancy wouldn’t take effect or what’s going on? And so we’ve both been trying to figure out like why.
Jamie: Yeah. Fascinating. I guess you took a pregnancy test to see if you were.
Jodie: I did. The funny thing about charting is usually I know I’m pregnant by my chart before, like, at least a week before I get a positive pregnancy test based on my temperatures. So that’s fun
Jamie: because it kept raising
Jodie: it well, it just, or raised.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Once it increases once I’ve ovulated, it only goes up by 0.1 or two degrees and then it just stays at that temperature until my cycle starts. So it just stayed, it kept staying and staying and staying. And usually it drops down like a day or two before my period starts, but it was not doing that.
But I hadn’t gotten my period yet. So, then it just continued to stay elevated. And it was like probably about another week to 10 days before I got a positive pres pregnancy test. But I knew from my chart. Mm-hmm. And from like looking back and seeing, oops, I ovulated that day. Uhhuh. So yeah.
Jamie: I love that that it, a test didn’t tell you. Your own body kind of told you that you were pregnant.
Jodie: Yeah. I love it too. It’s so cool. I, I I think like, I don’t know, I was just thinking about that because I’ve been teaching my own daughters about all of these things about their cycles. And I wish it was more like common knowledge and mothers taught daughters and it was more of a thing that women knew all of these things about their bodies themselves.
Mm-hmm. Through charting or, you know, just, and having more more confidence in the fact that they do know their bodies best. Yeah. So yeah, I encourage everyone to learn how to chart. And it doesn’t matter how old you are.
Jamie: It doesn’t,
Jodie: it’s, it’s a good thing
Jamie: now. I was reading a book about it. I don’t know if it, I don’t think it was the same one, but I kind of found taking the temperature every morning really annoying.
Can you walk me through, like what you do in the morning? Do you have a thermometer by your bedside and you take it right before you get outta bed?
Jodie: I do. I keep it in my pillowcase. Uhhuh, yeah. I keep it in my pillowcase because I do have a nursing baby and I don’t really like. I don’t want any of the kid, the kids are notorious for grabbing it.
If it’s out because I’m changing my bedding or something, they will take it and start playing with it and all that stuff. So I keep it in my pillowcase and my alarm goes off at the same time every morning. Although sometimes, you know, taking it at a different time can affect results. So I really try hard to take it at the same time.
That doesn’t always ho happen, but if it doesn’t, then I make a note of it in my chart for that day. Mm-hmm. Like temperature taken late or whatever. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I just, it’s there I am. So I wake up and, and take it and then. It has a memory feature where, where it will keep one, one memory in case I forget to put it straight into my phone app. But if I do it later, then it just, I turn it on and it has the memory feature so I can see what it is. Mm-hmm.
Jamie: That’s really cool. Yeah. And what were you thinking whenever your temperature stayed high like that?
Jodie: Well, well I, like I said, I kind of had figured out once I looked back at my chart and saw that I had ovulated late I, and that my husband and I had had sex that day that like, yeah, this is, this is it. Mm-hmm. We were excited. I mean, we, like I said, but the baby before, after we had the, the older brother, when I was 39, when I was pregnant with him. And after that is when I had thought about maybe getting my tube, my one tube tied. But I didn’t go through with it. So after that we were kind of like just open to whatever, like I had already dealt with all of the concerns about possibly getting my tube tied, not getting my tube tied, all of those things. And we were just ready to welcome any blessing that we had come our way.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Jodie: So we were excited.
Jamie: And how did the pregnancy go?
Jodie: It was rough. My pregnancies with when I’m having girls have always been rough on me. My joints ache my hips ache to the point where I’m like tossing and turning all night. And it’s just, it’s not fun when I’m having girls.
Jamie: Even early on in the pregnancy, when does that start?
Jodie: Usually about like four to five weeks. And it continues on through the whole pregnancy.
Jamie: Even the aching starts that early.
Jodie: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, and I don’t know, I attribute it to like, probably the female hormones, like the extra hormones that are going on. I don’t really know, but it’s it’s not fun at all. I feel like I have like arthritis or something. It’s bad. But yeah, so I didn’t know she was a girl at the time because we haven’t found, my husband and I have not found out her. We’ve only found out for one child and he happened to be a boy. At the time we were like, oh, let’s just find out this time just for fun and see if we like it. And we did and it was fun ’cause he was a boy and we had had a boy and two girl. Well, him and I together had two girls. Mm-hmm. And then the boy. So that was fun. And then we decided we liked to be surprised better. So since then, he’s 12 now. Since then we have never found out what we’re having. It’s always a surprise. So I think that’s fun. I kind of guess though yeah, it is fun. I kind of guessed though that after just the troubles I was having, that it was probably a girl.
Jamie: That’s so fascinating. You know your body. Did you need to find out the sex to confirm your suspicions?
Jodie: No. No, I didn’t. We just waited. And the other thing that I had going on really bad, I’ve always been kind of nauseous and or had morning sickness every single pregnancy. Mm-hmm. And they’ve all been different. I always tease her and tell her, you gave mom such a hard time because I was so nauseous from Don up to sundown every day. Just being nauseous. Mm-hmm. Previous pregnancies, I would maybe be a little nauseous, but like as soon as I went ahead and threw up, I would be fine. But with her, I never threw up. I was just nauseous all day long and it was miserable. And that was from like about five weeks to 18 weeks and then it started getting a little bit better.
Jamie: Wow.
Jodie: But yeah, I’ll never forget that.
Jamie: The first half was amazing then. Yeah. Did you find anything that helped with the nacho?
Jodie: Oh yeah. I took zinc and vitamin D. And I also got these dried ginger chews mm-hmm. That I would try kind of like suck on and chew on during the day. Mm-hmm. And then not eating, like anything that was too hurt on my stomach was a big help. So I kept it pretty basic, like chicken and salads and stuff that was easy to digest. Mm-hmm. I ate a lot of saltines. I should probably have like stock and saltines. Yeah, because sometimes that was all like I needed to eat something, which was the weird thing. I was nauseous, but I was also like, I would get hungry, like really hungry and so I’d have to eat something. And while I was eating, I don’t know if it was like just the action of chewing or what, I would not be nauseous for that like 15 minutes. And it was the most amazing 15 minutes of my day.
Jamie: And what about exercise? Did you do any movements with your body?
Jodie: I would walk. As much as I could. Mm-hmm. Sometimes, honestly, I just, I was so nauseous, I just would sit in bed or I’d sit on the couch or sit outside. And my husband and my older girls did a lot of, they just helped me out for those till I was 18 weeks ’cause I was so but and then after that I did start like walking more and all of that.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. And tell us about your medical team. How, how did you decide that and who did you decide?
Jodie: Oh well for, since maybe three pregnancies ago, I do my own prenatal care. And so I just do it my own.
Jamie: No midwife at all?
Jodie: No, no. Since, since we started having home births with my my first rainbow baby is when we started having home births. My husband and I just, we do it ourselves.
Jamie: Free birth?
Jodie: Yes. Free birth. Yes.
Jamie: That’s amazing.
Jodie: And now we do, I’ve added free pregnancy to that, which I guess is the, I don’t know, term for it, but I used to go to doctors even when I was, started having home birth, but I don’t know.
It, it was a lot of various reasons why I decided to just monitor my own pregnancy. The more I got to know my body and the more I continued to have like no issues, no complications I take full responsibility for my body and my baby and knowing and educating myself. So that’s what I’ve been doing.
If at any time I would’ve had any inkling of any complications or anything going on, I would be at the doctor’s in a heartbeat, but I, but I just never have.
Jamie: And walk us through like how you would monitor yourself. What were you looking for?
Jodie: Well, a lot of that is just how I’m feeling. I, I think by now I know pretty well, like if I feel like my blood pressure is off, like I, I have a blood pressure cuff, I would take my own blood pressure.
If I felt like, you know, I was having any issues with like excessive swelling or blood sugar changes or something felt off with a baby or anything like that I was just like, I’m so aware of my body that I just, I would kind of monitor that. Also I would pay attention to my fundal height. It’s not hard to measure your own fundal height which is what they do with the doctor.
Jamie: I don’t know what that is.
Jodie: Oh, it’s the measurement. When you go to the doctor, it’s the measurement they take from like the top of your pubic bone mm-hmm. To like right at the top of where your uterus has expanded. And usually it’s about, how far along you are is usually about how many centimeters your fundal height is. Mm. So if you’re like 32 weeks pregnant, then your fundal height should be about 32 centimeters.
Jamie: So, okay.
Jodie: And if it’s off, you know, either two much or too little, then like, that would cause concern. But I just, I’ve never had any issues.
Jamie: Yeah. Now have you heard of the Free Birth Society?
Jodie: I have. I don’t follow them per se but I follow a different group that is more in line with like my thoughts and stuff like that. It’s just, I don’t know, when you’re getting into all of this it’s kind of like finding a village that works with you.
Yeah. And so that’s what I’ve done. And this other group that I follow, they’re called Indie Birth. They have a lot of podcast. Mm-hmm. That’s education. They’re traditional midwives. And I have listened to almost every podcast they have and taken notes. I’ve taken classes through them just about being aware of what’s going on in pregnancy, your cycle, birth the bio, you know, how birth happens mm-hmm.
Biologically and if it’s undisturbed and all of those things. Mm-hmm. So I’ve been educating myself about that stuff for a long time, even before I started having home births.
Jamie: Yeah. I love that you didn’t go into this blindly. You have really educated yourself.
Jodie: Our babies are precious and I did the hospital birth for the first four babies. I was there to have the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy. And then we decided when I got pregnant again for my fifth baby, that we would, didn’t want a birth in the hospital anymore.
Mm-hmm. So, and then I had a natural miscarriage. And then it’s been all free birth since then. Mm-hmm. That’s so cool. And I didn’t just jump into free birth, like it, you know, willy-nilly. Like I had already educated myself a lot. And we did interview one midwife, but at the time our state’s climate for midwifery was very, it was quite disconcerting because the state did not license home birth midwives at the time. And so basically any midwives that were working in our state were working under the radar. And it was hard to find someone who would come. They were really spread out. Mm-hmm. And the one midwife that I interviewed, just, I didn’t, I didn’t feel comfortable with her. And I told my husband that I don’t want to invite someone in our space that I don’t feel comfortable with because that’s why we’re go leaving the hospital. Mm-hmm. Because I just want it to be us. I want it to be how I want it to be calm. I know there’s a better way. I’ve read about better ways for us. Like this, we don’t take it lightly. This is something we decided that was best for us.
Jamie: How did you prepare for birth and the baby this time?
Jodie: Well I read a lot. I also watched a lot of birth videos, documentaries about home birth even history of home birth and granny midwives like they were called where it was just past generation to generation.
I made lists like, if this happens, this is what we’ll do. My husband doesn’t really like to read unless it’s like about stuff he’s interested in which is fine. I would like send him videos or have discussions with him about like, you know, well if this happens, we’ll do this and if this happens we’ll do that and stuff, because he was gonna be like my number one coach there.
Jamie: Yeah. You had a plan in place.
Jodie: Yes. And, and really he is like super chill and calm, like in life, so I kind of knew he was just gonna be like, chill and like, he’s very smart. He’s just super intelligent. So like he would’ve figured it out. I had complete trust in him to make sure that I was safe in case I couldn’t do something because I was like in the middle of contractions or having a baby’s head.
Jamie: Now what about cravings? Does your body change in that way?
Jodie: I do sometimes. I do have cravings. Recently it’s been like I crave watermelon a lot. I don’t know why. I do love watermelon, but I don’t know if it’s like the water content or the sweetness or what, but I really love watermelon. Even so much so that I’ll eat it when it’s out of season. If I’m pregnant and it’s out of season and not even very sweet, I’ll eat it then. Just ’cause I love it so much. And I do crave it. Like probably, I could easily eat like a huge watermelon. My kids love watermelon too, but I could probably eat the whole thing in like two days.
Like I would have it for like, I’d just make watermelon, like a whole meal. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that was good. That was good because when I was pregnant with my husband and our first daughter, I craved a McDonald’s nuggets that was, I would not recommend that.
Jamie: Let’s go back to when labor started. Okay. How did it start for you?
Jodie: So let’s see. It started on a Friday.
Now let me preface this by saying that my pregnancies have gotten longer. The more I’ve had so like my last three have been between 41 and 42 weeks long before I actually had the baby. Mm-hmm. So, my toddler, well, he’s not a toddler anymore, he’s almost four. But his, I had him when I was like 42 weeks and three days, which was my longest pregnancy ever.
Mm-hmm. And I was in, in labor with him like prodromal and active labor for like five days total. So I figured that I had plenty of time just like it was gonna be like that. ’cause that’s kind of how a bunch of my labors were. So I started in labor with her on Friday, and I would’ve been 39 weeks and four days then.
And this was early for you? Yes, it was. But I was like, okay, maybe this is gonna be like a. A one week long labor, it’s just gonna kind of start picking up or whatever at some point next week. And my husband at the time, we also spent some time in Oregon. We have a home there. So he was in Oregon, picking up a vehicle and some of his stuff and driving back to Alabama with a friend.
So, he knew, I tell him right away, like, you know, like labor started. I never have Braxton Hicks and I never have contractions that are like kind of on again, off again, necessarily. Like, once labor starts for me with that first contraction, that’s it. It’s gonna, it’s gonna be on mm-hmm. However long it takes. Like, but that’s it. That’s labor beginning for me. Mm-hmm. So I told him, you know, like, labor has begun, but it’s going, you know, like it’s just coming along, starting slow. That Friday and Saturday I went with my kids. There were like birthday parties and we went to the park and we were doing all kinds of stuff. And, you know, I’m having contractions here. And then my husband is traveling from Oregon, which is gonna take, he had already started traveling like on Thursday, so he might get there Sunday or Monday, but here he’s like, well, do I need, what do I need to do? And I’m like, oh. It’s like, it’s gonna be a while. Just take your time and I’ll see you in a few days. I’ll let you know. So it’s chugging along. I am having contractions every eight to 12 minutes apart, nothing huge.
Jamie: Are you, sorry? Are you checking your cervix during labor to see? I do.
Jodie: No. So I never do since I started having home births, I never check my cervix Okay. To check any dilation or anything like that. So I told him like, you know, like it’s chugging along maybe eight to 12 minutes contractions, depending on what, like, what I’m doing. And I’m still, like I said, doing stuff with the kids and everything.
And then Sunday rolls around and it’s starting to pick up a little bit, but it’s not, it’s not concerning me because I’ve done this so many times. I just, I kind of know, like I’m not really working through the contractions yet. And by working I mean like having to focus, breathing having to stop what I’m doing and completely relax and kind of focus on the contraction and let it like.
Handle it. So I’m not like making the pain worse by tensing up or anything like that. Mm-hmm. And I usually end up becoming like a hermit and retreat to my room or whatever, like when I really need to start working through the contraction. So he’s still traveling traveling Sunday night. He ends up stopping in Mississippi about five hours away to spend his last night. ‘Cause it was late and he just, he falls asleep like so quick when it gets dark when he is driving. So he stopped for the night and I checked in with him and told him like, it’s fine. It’ll probably be like, you’ll, you’re gonna make it probably it’s fine. Well then. At midnight, my contractions start to pick up. Like as soon as I finally get the kids in bed and lay down and I’m starting to like do some work and I’m, you know, I am I don’t really prepare anything in advance. Like I have a birth, what I call a birth box, and it has, but it has like minimum stuff like a shower curtain, which is what I do to protect my floor bed.
And I have some clothes for the baby. I probably threw ’em in the washer while I was laboring. I don’t remember. And I have some other stuff in my birth box. Like I like to use herbal bath afterwards. So I do, I do purchase a package of that from a a birthing supply company. Mm-hmm. And then, just supplies like that. I know I’m gonna need I like to get a footprinting kit for my baby. Oh, cute. Yeah, so like you can get all that stuff from the birthing supply company. Mm-hmm. So I have that stuff in there and I was probably just making sure I didn’t need anything else and washing the baby’s clothes and pacing around, rocking in my rocking chair, sitting on my birth ball, just doing all this stuff while my kids were sleeping.
And then it gets to be about 4:00 AM and now it’s to the point where I feel like I need help. And usually I either have my husband with me or sometimes my oldest daughters have helped me or. I have a friend that’s a doula who would come and kind of just like coach me through contractions and provide like counter pressure on my lower back and stuff like that. So yeah, it’s 4:00 AM and I’m like really starting to feel like this is getting intense and like this is happening, like this baby’s coming. So I call my husband and wake him up and I’m like you need to come home. I’m actually crying like, you need to come home because I need you. And so he is like, right now and is sleepy. I’m like, yes, right now the baby’s coming. And he’s like, okay, I’ll get on the road, but I’m still five hours away or four and a half. I don’t know. I’m like, okay. So then right after that, his mother lives one block away. So fun. Yeah. So right after that I call her and I’m like, Hey, like still like not sounding, hey, like I, I, I need some help. I need you to come over and help me. ‘Cause this is getting really intense. And so she’s like, okay. And she comes over well by the, between calling her and the time when I’m, I’m having, she actually gets here. I’m having like quick contractions, like probably every two minutes two minutes apart. And they are intense. And I am, cramping. Like I have a runner’s cramp. And so immediately from educating myself, I’m thinking you know, like I’ve had so many babies, like, what is going on? Why am I cramping? Because usually you have a very distinct contraction where it builds and then it drops off and you have a little break before the next one. Mm-hmm. Well that I was having distinct contractions, but then I was also having this runner’s cramp. And that’s the only way I know how to explain it. ’cause it just would not go away. And it was more on my side. And so here my educated mind is thinking, okay, what’s going on? It could be something with the uterus. There’s something going on with the placenta. I’m thinking all these things and about my sleeping children and how my husband’s not here. And I, so when my mother-in-law gets here. I’m oh, and I was like paying attention to my breathing because when you have a runner’s cramp, you’re usually breathing really fast and you don’t really have control of your breathing. Well, I don’t do that when I’m in labor. I deep breathe and that helps me like, feel like I’m in control and helps me breathe through the pain and everything. So I was checking my breathing to make sure I wasn’t breathing too fast and that I was staying in control of my deep breathing. And I was so, I was a little concerned.
So I’m like thinking about how traumatizing this would be for something horrible to happen to me or the baby when only my mother-in-law and my children are here and my husband’s not here. So when my mother-in-law got here, I said maybe we should go to the hospital because something is off. Something isn’t just feels like it’s not right and I just don’t want anything bad to happen. And that was the only time I’ve ever had any inkling like that. So, of course that was like the first thing I say because I don’t want any, I don’t wanna die. I don’t want my baby to die. I don’t want my children who are always there at my birth to witness something horrible like that happening.
So she’s like, okay. So my girl, my older girls, my teenage girls helped me get dressed properly for, to go to the hospital. And so we go to the hospital and the whole time I’m driving contraction or my mother-in-law’s driving, not me. I’m thinking, you know, like I just, I don’t wanna go to the hospital ’cause it’s not where I feel most comfortable birthing. It’s not the kind of experience that I want for me or my baby. And I keep thinking like, just tell her to turn around, just go home. I wanna be at home like, and I’m just, I’m not having a good time with this trip. I always say, I think they should have laboring mothers be in charge of like road repairs and stuff, because you can feel everything, believe it when you’re in labor.
So yeah, we’re going to the hospital. We get checked in. I don’t know what time we got to the hospital. It was probably like 4: 45 or something by the time we actually got over there. And they’re checking in because I have not seen a local ob or anything. Like I’ve been out of their system for forever. We’re having to do everything from scratch while I’m like in, you know, hardcore labor which was not fun. I don’t recommend that. So we get up into the room about five 20 maybe, and, the nurse is like trying to get caught up with what, what is going on? And they’re trying to get me to change into the gown and all this stuff. They wanna start an iv, but I decline. And she tells me to go into the bathroom to pee in a cup and I go in there to go pee. And then when I stand up, my water breaks and then I immediately feel the baby coming, like she’s coming. So I call my mother my mother-in-law, I had already taken off my pants ’cause I was gonna get ready to change into the gown while I was going to the bathroom. My water breaks. And so I called my mom and I said can you help me? My water just broke. And she’s like, okay. So the nurse is like, kind of getting nervous and I could feel the nervous energy. So I was like, you know, as I’m walking back to the bed, like kind of scooting, ’cause my pants are around my legs and they’re soaked. I’m like it’s okay. Just put the back of the bed up because I know that the last few times I’ve given birth, I do so on my knees with my, like, body relaxed on my bed. So I said, just put the back of the bed up and I’m gonna climb up on the bed and like rest for a moment. So I climb up on the bed with my front facing the back of the bed. Like, so I’m kind of draped over the back of the bed. The nurse is pretty nervous. And I’m like, it’s okay. I got this. The baby is coming.
Jamie: You’re taking charge of the room.
Jodie: I’m like, it’s okay. We got this. The baby is coming. And she’s like nervous because I get the doctor hadn’t made it yet. And I was trying to stay calm and keep her calm because I could feel her like nervous energy and I didn’t like that.
So I’m like just breathing through the contractions and on the next contraction I know, like I’m ready to push and I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but I know in my free births and my other births, it’s probably like not taken longer than five minutes. Like usually couple pushes and the baby’s out.
So. I was cold, so I asked them to cover me up. And also like all my business was, so, ’cause I only had my shirt on you would think I would not be concerned with that. ’cause I’m like in the middle of labor and I’ve had so many babies. But I, I was just, ’cause I was in the hospital and it was cold and it was just like this whole experience I didn’t want.
So I had them cover me up with a sheet and I wait for the next contraction. And as is typical, there’s usually a stall when you start pushing between contractions, like you get a little extra rest. So the next contraction is starting and I start pushing and I put my hand down to, because I can feel the baby’s head and I’m kind of cradling the baby’s head.
And then like, one good push and she’s out. Like I felt her and I kind of guided her onto the bed. And but then I let go because I knew she was safely on the bed. I looked at my mother-in-law and I said, oh, she’s here. And I think the nurse was like she lifted up the blanket and she said, oh, you had the baby? And I said, yes, I had the baby. And I said help me get turned around because I want to hold my baby. Like, I just felt such a maternal instinct like Mama bear. Like I wanted to hold her and keep her close to me. Yeah. Because once again, it is just like, the hospital experience is not what I wanted for her. Like it was bright and cold and I just wanted her to, to keep her close to me and protect her. And I wanted to be the first one to touch her because in so long, the first people that have touched my babies have been me and my husband.
And so they helped me get flipped around and I brought her to my chest and, a couple minutes have passed and I latched her onto nurse. And my husband happened to call as soon as I got turned around. And I hadn’t latched her on yet. So she’s screaming her head off and he, I answered the phone, or his mom answers the phone and he hears her crying her first cry. I heard him on speaker. He said, what? And I was like, yeah, she’s here. Wow. And I said, it’s a girl, because usually he, he’s the catcher usually, and he tells me what we had.
Jamie: What a perfect phone call.
Jodie: I know, I know. It worked out. So yeah, we were like, I was just like thrilled. It was kind of funny because like knowing as long as my laborers and births take, I, I kind of always joked like, Lord, let me be the one where like it just comes right out. Like the baby just comes out, no issues. And she, and she did, felt
Jamie: like she did this time. Okay. I have so many questions. Okay. So when you were turning around, the baby was just laying on the bed, right? Like the baby Never, the nurse never touched the baby at this time?
Jodie: Not that I know of. I think, I think if I remember right, I told my mother-in-law to, to touch her. To hold her. So at least she was the one touching her. I can’t really remember what, because I was faced away and I had to be careful of the cord. Right. I was flipping around and also of the baby. ’cause I didn’t know exactly where on the bed she was.
I had just kind of guided her out and then she was there in the middle of the bed. And I was like, sha, you know, shaky. Like my adrenaline was starting to like drop off and I didn’t wanna fall off the bed. Yeah. So and I still like, it’s an awkward feeling when you have the umbilical cord kind of like out of you, but the placenta’s not Yeah.
Coming out yet. So yeah, it’s kind of like a tethered feeling. I don’t know. It’s just like, and everything’s tender and sore. You don’t wanna move a lot. So, yeah. I’m trying to, to flip over with all of those factors at play and, I think my mother-in-law kind of held, just kind of put her hand on the baby while, while they helped me get turned around.
Mm-hmm. And then she’s the one who lifted her up to me. And yeah.
Jamie: You gave birth with the sheet over you? So I did. And no one else really had any idea what was going on.
Jodie: No. No. Not even my mother-in-law. ’cause like I didn’t say like the baby’s coming because I’m very quiet when I give birth. I don’t I mean sometimes I, I may make some noise when I’m like, if I’m pushing a lot, but I really didn’t have to push her very long for her to come out. Like she really just slid right out after I gave her that one Good push. So no, they didn’t know yet. And actually the nurse told me later when she was like, she was kind of in awe of the whole situation and she’s like, I have never seen anything like that. And my, so she said later that she’s like, I just, I was just thinking, oh, please don’t let there be a baby under that sheet when I looked it up and I said, but there was.
Jamie: Yeah. So what was she doing whenever you were giving birth? The nurse.
Jodie: She was like getting all her equipment ready. Like, but I don’t, I don’t do fetal mon, like, I declined everything she was offering me. Like mm-hmm. I don’t, she was getting like the fetal monitor ready and like yeah, she, she offered to do that.
Oh, I remember after I climbed up on the bed, I heard her, I was like kind of in the zone and had my enclosed ice closed. ’cause the contraction was pretty intense. But I heard her put gloves on and she said, okay, mama, may I check you? Or something like that. And I said, no, you may not. And I just continued on with the contraction and she was like, okay.
A few times she kept saying, like, quoting some stuff about liability or something, and I was just like, I was just like, you know, like, I understand, like I understand that climate. I do, I used to be in nursing, but I just, I kind of understand where they’re coming from because I know like this random person that no one’s ever seen comes in and they’re like, you know, she, and she did say after the fact like well, we’ll get to that later. But yeah, she was just kind of stunned by the whole situation.
Jamie: But I love it. You advocated for yourself and you showed up and you took control of that room and had the baby.
Jodie: Yeah, I, it was, that was one of the blessings that came from that whole situation. Even though it’s not necessarily the situation I wanted for my baby, I am glad that nothing was wrong. Mm-hmm. Like, and my breathing must have been off or something. I think about it a lot just in processing that birth, which I think is very important for any woman who has had any sort of birth. I think processing the birth and thinking about it is really important. So I’ve done a lot of like healing and even though it wasn’t like horribly traumatic to me coming from all these home births.
It was fairly it was not ideal to me. So I’ve done healing and processing and talked about it with other friends in my birthing communities and stuff like that. So I think that’s important. I understand where she was coming from because she said it herself. She, it’s not typical for these days for most OBGYNs and labor and delivery nurses to see situations like that or to know there’s a different way than like a bunch of interventions, medical, medicalized, all of those things.
Because that’s all they know. Mm-hmm. Sure. You know, like that’s, and that’s where I used to be too. Like my very first birth I had, which was the birth I started talking about at the beginning, it, it was highly medicalized. You know, like I just basically followed whatever the doctor said because I didn’t know any better.
But now I do know better.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jodie: And what works best for my family. So that’s what I do.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. And so you got turned around, you got her latched and your husband’s on the phone. Yeah. What happened then?
Jodie: Just a bunch of things, which is the reason why I left the hospital to begin with. But like she was, the nurse was like tugging on the umbilical cord and I kept telling her to stop and tried to push her hand away.
And I kept telling her, you don’t need to do that. Like, it’s fine. I can feel like. I’ve done this before, like you don’t need to tug on it. And she said something like, she announced that, which is the way, the like tone, it was like that it wasn’t pulsing anymore and we could cut it at any time. And I said it’s okay.
Because I know, like I just leave my umbilical cords and placenta attached, like it’s not hurting anything. No, it’s not. I mean, even if it’s dumb pulsing, it’s not like, but in the hospital they’re, they are used to like just mm-hmm. Get to the next thing, get to the next thing, you know, like, so, and I, I take responsibility for that too.
I tell people like, you know, I understand as soon as I went to the hospital and made that decision, I let go of a lot of my own choices and I understand that. Mm-hmm. But like you said, I still had to try and be my own advocate because usually my husband would have, but he wasn’t there unfortunately. And, those mama bear instincts just took over and I was like, I was doing it, but there are, you know, so that happened with the umbilical cord. And and then there was not like, here I’m sitting nursing my baby and I’m just like, I’m not covered at this point. And they bring in an er male doctor who has nothing to do with labor and delivery and he’s lecturing me about how if my placenta doesn’t come in the next five minutes, that there’s all these risk. And I just said, Hey like, no, it’s fine. My placenta’s fine. I just need a little bit of gravity so as soon as I finish nursing the baby, I’m gonna turn around and then the placenta will come out. And he didn’t like that, but the nurse was helpfully stepped in and was like. She, we’ll, we’ll take care of it, doc. Or whatever she said. But she did, she did have my back as far as that was concerned. ’cause he was very abrasive. Mm-hmm. Then she left.
Jamie: But you’re still like, I’m gonna tell you what I’m going to do.
Jodie: Well, because I knew what was going on and Yeah. I don’t know like that a lot of what they were saying was just from the liability aspect.
Mm-hmm. And we need to get this done right now. And I just, I don’t know it I just, I don’t like that because I go into birth with no, no real fears. Like I’ve already done the work of working through my fears because I do, I have anxiety sometimes. Every single pregnancy. I have anxiety, I have fears, but I do the hard work of working through those because I don’t wanna go into labor and birth for my baby with all of that negative energy being in my space and you know, I think the baby and mother is so like, in tune to each other. I don’t want any of that negative ener energy to be around us. Mm-hmm. So they, they were just speaking from like, you know, just not knowing any better and liability and stuff like that. And I can’t fault them for that, but I just, I wish it was a little different.
Jamie: Now you told me that you had a free birth at the hospital, and I was like, what is she talking about
Jodie: now? I know. Yeah, I know. I, I don’t, I don’t call it a free birth, but yeah, it’s, it was basically like me just taking care of it, just being at the hospital, like I said, in case something went wrong. Yeah.
Jamie: You thought something was wrong and that’s why you went?
Jodie: I did. So after that, after everything happened and I was fine, after that doctor left, I finished nursing the baby. My mother-in-law who was a nursery nurse at the hospital for like 25 years, she’s retired now, but she was, she has been the ba the nurse when she worked at the hospital and I was still having babies in the hospital. She was my baby’s nurses, I mean all my babies nurse while she worked at the hospital. Mm-hmm. So, she is retired now, but she’s there like, and in my corner and she likes to look the baby over and do her nursing stuff, just ’cause she knows so much about it and I, and I honor her ex expertise in that.
And it’s her grandbaby. Yeah. So, and she’s a good grandma, so like, of course she’s, she’s gonna know if something’s up. Like she was one of the best nurses and I just like, I trust her, so. Mm-hmm. She likes to look the baby over. And so in order to get the placenta to come out, because honestly I’m not in a rush, but after I go through all that hard work, I’m ready to take a shower.
So yeah, I want the placenta to come out because once it does, then I will. Cut the cord, or my husband, I, I did it in that aspect, but, or my mother-in-law did. But usually it’s my husband cutting the cord. Mm-hmm. And then I’m ready to take a show so that can like, get in my bed with my baby and relax, you know? Yeah. So and get washed up.
Jamie: So after you nursed, did you just stand up out of the bed and it fell out for a better reason? No,
Jodie: I, I flipped back around how I was for the birth. Mm-hmm. Because the back of the bed was still up and the nurse, I think there was already like a Chuck’s pad on the bed. And I asked the nurse for a bowl because usually at home we just put it in a bowl.
Yeah. So you’re still in control. You’re
Jamie: the one saying, give me the bowl. I’m gonna, I’m gonna birth this, this placenta now.
Jodie: Yeah, I did it. Well, I was trying to limit mess because I felt me, I felt bad for like dirtying up their hospital room when like it in the big picture. I really didn’t need them.
So, and I didn’t, I felt bad because like, she thought, oh, like, you know, we got this mom coming in, she’s gonna have a baby and I’m gonna have like, I’m gonna do my job. But like, I just probably ruined her day. So I felt kind of bad and I was trying not to make such a mess. So yeah, I asked her for a bowl or something to catch the placenta in. And, I had already, like, by the time they flipped me, they helped me turn around. It was already coming and I could feel it and I said, oh no, it’s coming. And I think she barely got the, like, so it kind of plopped out into the bowl, but part of it was on, on the Chuck’s pad too. So I did make a little bit of a mess, but it’s okay. And then I told her that I wanted to clean the placenta, so to be sure she didn’t throw it away. And yeah, then we cut the cord. And the traditional hospital way. Yeah. My, I, I think now that I remember, I think, I think I did it ’cause I had never done it before. Mm-hmm. I had never done it before. Usually it’s my husband. Mm-hmm. So I did it myself with the hospital scissors that she gave me. Then they put the clamps on, which was another thing. Usually I don’t use clamps usually when I’m at home. The last two pregnancies, I crocheted umbilical cor ties.
Jamie: Oh my gosh.
Jodie: Like out of silk. So they were soft. And after it, the cord stops pulsing, like it really bleeds. So you don’t have to put the tie on, but mm-hmm. I like to, on both sides, just tradition.
Jamie: I was saying it’s a nice kinda ritual too.
Jodie: Yeah. Yeah. I like it and it’s soft and I made it so like it’s, I just like it better than like a hard clamp or whatever.
Mm-hmm. But they put the clamp on and ’cause I didn’t, like, I left my house without anything from my birthing box. So yeah. So the nursery nurse. Very politely asked me if she could take the baby over to the warmer to do her exam. And I said it was fine as long as my mother-in-law went with her.
And so she did. And it was all still in the room. And I knew that my mother-in-law would not let her do anything that like we wouldn’t approve of. Mm-hmm. So while that was all going on, I the placenta was gone. Now I I got up and I went into the bathroom and took a shower. And it felt, the shower after birth is like one of the joys of my life. It just feels so good. And then I got dressed and I got back in the bed with the baby. And just nursed her like pretty much the whole time until…
oh, somewhere in there after I got back to the bed I was nursing the baby, and I, the nurse was like checking me out and doing all this stuff. She asked if she could push on my uterus, fundal massage is what they call it.
And it kind of, it helps the uterus start contracting so that like your bleeding slows down and you don’t hemorrhage. And they wanted to start an iv with Pitocin because after you have like three or four babies, they say like, there’s a risk of you bleeding more. But I, I declined it because I always have, I mean, even when I was still in the hospital, I declined it my last birth, which would’ve been my fourth.
I was nursing the baby and I said, okay since everything’s fine, now what do I need to sign to go home because I want to go home. Mm-hmm. And she said, oh I’m gonna have to wait to talk to the doctor ’cause you’re gonna have to sign some paperwork. And I said, it’s okay, I’ll, I’ll sign whatever. I just wanna go home like sooner than later. So they hum haw hum and hawed about that for a while and kind of like made me wait. Come to find out I had the baby at 5:31 AM come to find out about like. I went because I was processing. I went to get my records, which is the same thing I did after I had the ectopic surgery because I wanted to read through the rec records and see what they had written and what had happened. Stuff that maybe I wasn’t aware of because I was kind of out of it, or under anesthetic or like, you know, for my birth I was like birthing a baby. So like maybe I didn’t see everything the nurse was doing or charting about me.
So I got the records and I read through them and I realized like I had the baby at 5 31, they had already called DHR, which is like CPS on me, like at 5:55 AM or something. And they didn’t tell me that. But I think because I think because I had mentioned that I wanted to leave she said something like, well, we just need to make sure that, like we have moms come in here that wanna leave right away because they’re like on drugs and they wanna do drugs. And I’m like, well that’s not why I wanna leave. And she’s like, yeah, I can, I can tell like, that’s not you, but like, we just, you need to sign some paperwork or whatever. And I was like, okay. She had already called CPS on me. So we were just kind of like hanging out. I was nursing the baby. She asked to do the fundal massage and I agreed, even though it wasn’t, I told her this is not really necessary because I’m nursing already and I’m, I’m not, like, I can feel my uterus contracting.
The act of nursing makes your uterus contract. So you know, and I’ve been nursing since like three minutes after the birth, like, I’m fine. Mm-hmm. But I, again, I felt kind of bad that I wasn’t letting her do her job. So I let her, but then I was like, okay, I don’t want you to do that anymore because it’s not necessary and it hurts. So I let her do that.
And then they just kind of like, they got me some water and some food and, which was good. I mean, even though it was hospital food, like that’s another thing that’s one of the joys of my life is that first meal after birth. It’s so good. Yeah.
Jamie: How long was it before you left?
Jodie: I live about. 15 minutes tops away from the hospital and we were pulling into my driveway by 8:30 AM so it wasn’t very long, but to me it felt like a while. And I like had to wait for the doctor to come in. And then when the doctor came in, it happened to be my old OB
Jamie: surprise.
Jodie: He was not happy. He was, he had an attitude and he’s like, I don’t know what you want me to do for you. And I said, you don’t have to do anything for me. I just wanna sign some paperwork so I can go home. Yeah.
Jamie: I’m not asking you to do anything, buddy.
Jodie: They don’t know any better. So they gave me the paperwork and then we were able to leave. They didn’t even let me tell you, they, when a woman has a baby and you check out normally according to their schedule, they give you a, a wheelchair. I kept saying to my mother-in-law, like, let’s just go, like, we’ll just leave. I don’t even have to sign any paperwork or whatever. Like, I don’t even care. I just wanna go home. And she kept having to remind me that when the nurse, nursery nurse took the baby over to the warmer, she had put an alarm on her ankle, which they do that for the baby’s safety, so that like someone can’t come snatch the baby and run out of the hospital.
Mm-hmm. Because the alarm will go off. Okay. She didn’t understand, but I kept forgetting that and I kept telling my mother-in-law, let’s just go. And she kept having to remind me the baby has an ankle they slit on, we can’t go, the alarm will go off. I’m like, darn it. Okay.
Jamie: It’s under hospital arrest. It can’t leave.
Jodie: So so yeah, so they bring us the paperwork and I’m like, okay, great. I sign it. I’m already, I’ve already been dressed and everything by this time. Ready to go like for two hours and they didn’t even like bring a wheelchair up, which is fine. I didn’t need a wheelchair, but you know, so I just, we just walked outta the hospital.
Jamie: Wow.
Jodie: Yeah. And we got home. So as we’re we’re coming home, I didn’t know like how long it was gonna be before my husband arrived. Mm-hmm. As we were pulling up into the driveway, he and our friend from Morgan Drive up and so he meets, he meets me at I was with my sister-in-law by then in her car. She had to go buy a car seat because I didn’t even have a new car seat. ‘Cause I thought I was gonna be at home. And I was like, I’ll be at home. We’re not going anywhere for a while. I don’t need a car seat. So I hadn’t even gotten one. So she had to go when we were at the hospital and get a new car seat. ’cause I didn’t have one. My husband walks up and I hand him the baby and I, I think I sent you some of those pictures of him holding her for the first time. And they’re so, like she’s a daddy’s girl now. Unless she wants to nurse, but if he like had milk, she wouldn’t even need me.
Jamie: Right. So you were all, you were only at the hospital. You got there at 5 45 and you left at 8 34
Jodie: 4 4 45. Yeah. And I was gone by like probably eight 15. Yeah.
Jamie: That’s probably like the quickest hospital birth they’ve ever seen.
Jodie: Yeah. I was, I would’ve left sooner if they let me. They just weren’t coming in to let me sign the paperwork. So I didn’t wanna have too much, I didn’t know that they had called CPS by that time. But and just talking with other, like I said, the birthing climate here has been kind of weird for a while. Mm-hmm. With home births and stuff. And I just didn’t, I didn’t want any trouble, so I was trying to wait and sign the paperwork. Mm-hmm. So they could at least, I could at least say, well, like I wasn’t trying to leave to go do drugs or anything. Like I stayed to sign the paperwork. Mm-hmm. Like, I take full responsibility for leaving a MA.
Jamie: I have a few questions before we get to your postpartum.
Jodie: Sure.
Jamie: Your family, how does your outside family react to your free birthing?
Jodie: I think by now, for the most part, they just, they don’t say anything they like know it’s a given. Mm-hmm. When we first, when we first came up with the idea my, like I said, my mother-in-law was a nursery nurse for 25 years before she retired, or 20 years maybe.
And then my sister-in-law was a labor and delivery nurse herself for so many years. Mm-hmm. And so when we first started talking about that they had some concerns and they told us some of the like worst case scenario stories they saw at the hospital and all of that. And but it was never like really like anything horrible. It was just like, but what if, and this happened. So we just learned early on to like just, you know, like, think about it or if they, you know, brought up a special situation like shoulder dystocia or whatever, then I would go research it and figure out, okay, if this happens, what am I gonna do about it? Mm-hmm. So it was fine. And yeah, they, I, I don’t know, they just, I don’t hide it from anyone. They, they know that’s what we do and mm-hmm. So I, I’m pretty, I’m pretty open book when it comes to all that stuff.
Jamie: Yeah. And what about the birth certificate? How do you handle that when you have a home birth?
Jodie: I get. So I request a packet from the Center for Health Statistics in Montgomery and the state Capital. Mm-hmm. And they send me this packet that’s like a, I don’t know, it’s like a seven or 10 page application I have to fill out. Mm-hmm. And it has like all of my and my husband’s identifying information.
We have to prove that we’re residents in the state. And it has a bunch of information, like you have to fill out everything about the birth and your pregnancy what kind of care you received, how the pregnancy went. If you had any complications from the birth, you just fill all that information out and provide proof of pregnancy and proof of life birth, which I get from my chiropractor who I see like every week of my pregnancy that’s the only person I see during my pregnancy because my chiropractor provides a lot of relief and helps with like to make sure like my pelvic is pro, my pelvis is properly aligned and all of that. There’s a lot of benefits to seeing a chiropractor during pregnancy. Yeah. So, yeah. And then I also take my babies, like right after they’re born, I take them as soon as possible to see the chiropractor. Mm-hmm. And she’s not just any old chiropractor. She’s like specializes in women and children and all of that, so
Jamie: that’s cool. What, so the person that provides the proof of pregnancy, I guess that has to be a doctor or somebody?
Jodie: It has to be someone that has seen, saw you during your pregnancy and can, and can attest to the fact that you were indeed pregnant. Okay. I guess the reason they do all of that is so that you can prove that you’re like, didn’t steal this baby from someone and are trying to pass it off as your own.
Jamie: Wow.
Jodie: So, yeah. Yeah. And then so I just send it off with all the proof that they need. Mm-hmm. And then I get it back in about, I don’t know, five weeks or so, three weeks. And they also will automatically send info to the social security office and then they, I get a social security card.
Jamie: Fascinating.
Jodie: And that varies by state. Sure, sure. What the requirements are and the application and all of that.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Jodie: And how was your recovery? It was great. It was really great. I remember when we got here, like I said, my husband had traveled with a friend from Oregon and we’re like walking in and he’s telling me congratulations. And he’s like, looking at me and he’s like, I just can’t believe you just had a baby, because I was just walking into the house. It was, it was really great.
Jamie: That’s awesome. And breastfeeding went fine from there.
Jodie: Yes. Yeah. I’ve IUI am a lactation consultant and I was volunteered for Achi League for a while, so I’ve, I’ve never really had any major issues with breastfeeding or anything like that, so. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she’s still nursing. She’s 14 months, she’s still nursing.
Jamie: What are your goals whenever you breastfeed? How long do you normally feed your, your babies?
Jodie: Just I, well usually my main goal is to, I just nurse on demand, which means like I basically nurse them whenever they want it. Mm-hmm. Because they get nutrition and comfort from it.
Mm-hmm. And once they get older I may like redirect or distract if it’s not convenient for me, and I know like they don’t need it for their main nutrition anymore. With my other babies, I usually nurse all through pregnancy. But once the new baby comes, I don’t really like tandem nursing, which is nursing, both babies. I just, I end up feeling like I’m just a milk cow with my boobs out all the time, and I don’t really like that. And I also get touched out. Mm-hmm. So usually that when the new baby comes is when I start active weaning, actively weaning the older baby. Mm-hmm. The older toddler at that point. ’cause they’re usually like 24 to 26 months by then. Mm-hmm. And it’s a lot at that age. They understand more, you’re able to kind of redirect them and talk to them about it. Whereas with like a, an 18 month old or younger if you were to have babies that close together, it’s, they don’t understand why they can’t have milk anymore or have that time with moms. So I just avoid all that.
Jamie: Mm-hmm. And mentally how were you during postpartum?
Jodie: I was, I was good. I’ve never really had any issues, thankfully. Like I have my down days and when my hormones are fluctuating and normalizing again. I’ll have some times where I’m like down or anything like that, but nothing too bad.
There’s always a transition when a new baby comes in, our family where we all have to get used to me like being busy with the new baby a lot ’cause they’re nursing so much and I’m recovering and just all of that. Mm-hmm. But mentally it’s just adding another kid to the group and everyone loves the new baby.
Jamie: Yeah. All the love for the new baby.
Jodie: Yeah.
Jamie: Is there anything you wanna add to your pregnancy or birth?
Jodie: I will say that, I did have a call from DHR after I was home, like for a few days. Mm-hmm. And they were telling me that they were gonna have to come, they were asking me a bunch of questions about my other kids and asking me why I went to the hospital and all this stuff.
And they were saying they were gonna have to come do a house check and make sure my other kids were okay and all this stuff. And asking me, I homeschool. So they asked me about their schooling and I told them like, we’ve always homeschooled. So. I remember she said something like, I’m gonna have to come check and see if the other kids are okay. And I said, no, I refuse. Like, they’re fine. You don’t have to come check. And she said, oh, okay. I’m gonna have to call my supervisor. ’cause we’ve just never had a situation like this before. And I said, okay, I’ll talk to you when you call back. And she never called back. So that was good because I did have a friend that had to go through the whole, like house inspection, all this stuff. Yeah. So,
Jamie: so that was the hospital. What about CPS?
Jodie: That was, that was CPS? That was CPS Okay. Called me after the fact. Okay. Yes. So I kind of knew, like at that point I knew that someone must have called, which is kind of typical in my little town where I live. Like they’re just not used to anything outside the little box. Mm-hmm. And home birth really isn’t, isn’t too, too common in this state just because of how the climate has been for so long. It’s getting better now, but there’s, yeah. It’s just still some people are just not there yet. Right. So like I said, which I understand because they just haven’t seen any different, or they don’t know any better.
So that was, that was the end of that. And I didn’t know that. I knew then after I got my records that they had called someone and at what time? ’cause it was in my chart.
Jamie: And do you have plans to have more children in your forties?
Jodie: We’re well, like I said, I’ve been watching my chart lately and mm-hmm. We’re not planning anything really. It’s not our plan. We, we, we will kind of watch my chart and kind of decide, but like, if it happens, it happens. We’re not mm-hmm. Trying to avoid it or anything like that. Okay. Yeah.
Jamie: And what do you think has been your biggest challenge being pregnant in your forties?
Jodie: Well I just, it’s a lot different than, well, I tend to have girls. I have six girls and three boys, so like, I don’t I don’t know why I keep doing that. No, I’m joking. I, like, they’re just, my girl pregnancies are always rough. Mm-hmm. But I tend to have more girls than boys, so I think that’s just like, I’m a little, I like, obviously I’m aging.
And I’m not a spring chicken anymore. My pregnancy, I can only hope, like, maybe, hopefully the next one is a boy if I do get pregnant again, because then I’ll feel a lot better.
Jamie: You want a better pregnancy?
Jodie: Yeah. Because my pregnancies with my boys, even with my, my son that’s gonna be four. I had him when I was 39.
Mm-hmm. And that pregnancy was amazing. Like, I felt so great. Mm-hmm. So yeah, it’s definitely like my age is definitely noticeable, especially with the girl pregnancies. But I don’t know, I just wanna accept whatever blessings. Like if we have more kids, I just wanna accept it and be excited and happy about it. Mm-hmm. For all sorts of reasons.
Jamie: Is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth?
Jodie: Oh, where do I begin? No, I think a lot of learning about your own cycle and also about whether you’re, you know, you’re gonna have a different, like a certain birth situation c-section IVF, like whatever it is. I think that all women should educate themselves about pregnancy and birth outside the box, like not so main mainstream. I think that there is a lot of good information out there about how when nothing goes wrong. Or like in old cultures and societies how traditional labor and pregnancy and birth can be. Just so you know, like what’s normal and if you do choose to have a traditional birth and labor you know what to expect and you can teach your daughters those things. Because I think no matter what your pregnancy and, and birth ends up looking like, it’s really good to just to have that information and be truly informed so that you just know like baseline stuff about your own body and what our, bodies can do.
Jamie: Yeah. And I think your story is a perfect example of how to know your body.
Jodie: Yeah.
Jamie: About it. Perfect. And what advice would you give yourself when you were pregnant, if you could go back?
Jodie: Hmm. I always, in my healing, I’ve always, I, I have always told myself and friends and my husband, like, if I would’ve, if you would’ve been there, I don’t say it to make him feel bad. ‘Cause I think he had his own healing to do from not being there because he’s just been there for all of our babies. He is such a protector. Like, I, I feel like he didn’t, I know for a fact he did not like us being at the hospital without him to be our advocate. So I always say that like, you know, if I would’ve just waited, you know, like another hour or hour and a half, like the baby would’ve been here and I would’ve been fine. But you know, like. I, I also think like, you know, I, in this situation I wanted to make sure that I and my baby were safe and I did that. Mm-hmm. And I also showed myself like how much of an advocate I could be for myself. Mm-hmm. Even in the throes of labor and birth I was able to stand up for myself. Yeah. And those are good lessons that I got out of that experience.
Jamie: Did you find it empowering to advocate for yourself?
Jodie: I did. I did because like at home my husband and I are so used to like, you think like, you’ll never get used to like birth. ’cause every birth is different, every labor is different.
Mm-hmm. But still, like, and we’re not disturbed at home. We can do our whatever we want, pretty much. But it was so empowering, just, because even if he had been there and we still chose to go to the hospital, he would’ve been doing most of the advocating. Mm-hmm. Because he knows me so well and what I want during, during labor and birth, like I wouldn’t have had to say much. I mean, he would’ve been saying everything I said and probably even more because of how much of a protector he is for me and our baby. But because I was able to do it, it was kind of like proving to myself that like I had what it takes to be the protector if I needed to be. And that was worth its weight in gold to me because I always joke and to husband, like if there was ever some huge thing that happened and like we had to survive on bugs and stuff like that, like I am not doing it.
But like the, that situation showed me that I could be mama bear and protected what was important to me and protect my baby if I needed to. So that was really worth it.
Jamie: Yeah. And I think it’s safe to say your presence on social media is a little private. Is that accurate? It’s okay.
Jodie: It is. Okay. Well, I don’t really, I know like a lot of women like share their birthing videos and all this stuff, but I don’t, I don’t do that. Like that’s a private, I will share stories, but I don’t really share pictures or anything like that much because it’s, that’s like private for us.
Jamie: Okay. And Jodie, your story is absolutely amazing and inspiring to me.
Thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story.
Jodie: Yeah. Thank you for having