044. After the devastating experience of four consecutive losses, Jenna refused to give up on her dream of motherhood. Discover how she cultivated radical determination to navigate a successful pregnancy at 43, proving that even after recurrent loss, your body can still lead the way.
On episode 44, we sit down with Jenna to discuss the emotional and physical resilience required to navigate pregnancy at 43 after the heartbreak of four consecutive losses. Jenna opens up about the journey of moving through recurrent loss and the pivotal moment she decided to reclaim her maternal sovereignty. We explore how she transformed her grief into a fierce determination, rebuilding trust in her body and refusing to let a medical label dictate her future.
This conversation is a masterclass in body literacy and the power of the maternal mindset. Jenna shares how her history of loss didn’t weaken her—it fueled a deep, intuitive connection to her pregnancy that allowed her to stay centered and empowered. Whether you are currently walking through the valley of loss or looking for the courage to trust your body again at 40+, Jenna’s story is a beautiful testament to the fact that your history does not define your capacity for a fabulous and pregnant success story.
About the Guest
Jenna, from Sheboygan, Wisconsin is a resilient mother of five daughters who has been building her family alongside her high school sweetheart since she was 17. After welcoming children across three decades, her path to a fifth child was challenged by four consecutive miscarriages and “doomsday” medical predictions that insisted, at age 43, donor eggs were her only remaining option. Refusing to let a specialist’s deadline dictate her future, Jenna leaned into her own determination and body literacy to defy the odds, successfully navigating a beautiful rainbow pregnancy at 43 and proving that intuition can often succeed where statistics fail.
Connect with Jenna:
- Instagram: @mcrjenplath10
Key Topics
- Overcoming Recurrent Loss: Navigating the grief of four losses and finding the strength to try again at 43.
- The Mindset of Determination: How Jenna shifted from being a “patient” to being the primary advocate for her own pregnancy.
- Rebuilding Body Trust: Practical ways to reconnect with your intuition after your body has experienced trauma or loss.
- Defying the “Statistics”: Staying empowered and “fabulous” when faced with the medical narratives surrounding pregnancy over 40.
Resources & Links
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase. I only recommend products our guests truly love!
Instagram: Follow Over 40 Fabulous and Pregnant
YouTube: Watch Episodes HERE
Recommended Website: National Library of Medicine
Recommended Products: Tummy Drops & Thorne Prenatal Vitamins & Robozo Shawl & Witch Hazel Pads & Red Raspberry Leaf Tea & Nettle Tea
Shop More: See ALL products recommended by our guests!
Support the Podcast: Donate to the Podcast
Community: Join the Over 40 Fabulous Facebook Group
Transcript
Jamie: Jenna, welcome to the show!
Jenna: Thanks for having me!
Jamie: Will you tell us a little bit about your pregnancy journey and where it began?
Jenna: Okay. I started when I was 17 years old, so I was still in high school and just got pregnant by accident there. then we got married and then we wanted to have a sibling for our baby. So I had a baby when I was 20. And then life happens and we were really busy and we still wanted more children.
You keep hearing as 35 is that deadline. So we were like, oh, if we’re gonna do it, it’s gotta, it’s gotta happen now. So then I got pregnant at 34. I don’t really know exactly if we were like, yeah, let’s have even more kids. But we got pregnant at 38.
After that, I think it really was a driving force for my husband was a boy. Our family didn’t feel complete. If it was a girl, that didn’t really matter to me, but we wanted to try. We had a miscarriage before my fourth daughter. Then I got pregnant right after that. I’ve had a total of five miscarriages, but four were back to back before my daughter at 43.
Jamie: I’m sorry about your miscarriages. Did they say what was going on?
Jenna: No, actually for the second miscarriage, I needed a DNC, the other ones I miscarried naturally. I was 12 weeks. They call it a mis miscarriage. My body just kept going. They did the DNC and asked me if I wanted to do genetic testing. I thought it would be helpful, but it wasn’t helpful because we found out it was a boy, which really devastated my husband.
The genetic testing came back that there was nothing genetically wrong with him. That really didn’t give us any answers whatsoever. I honestly regret getting that testing done just because it really devastated my husband. But I did. I did a whole huge panel. My doctor was very I don’t wanna say enthusiastic, but she was like, every test she could think of, she gave me.
Nothing was wrong, so she sent me to a specialist and that specialist only gave me that my age was the problem. I needed to do donor eggs or IVF would be the only answer for getting pregnant. I thought, I don’t like that answer, so I went to another doctor. That doctor pretty much said the same thing. She was very doomsday about my age and my eggs were just too old.
Jamie: And which one was this?
Jenna: At 38 is when I had the miscarriage before that baby. But between the ages 41 to 42 is when I had the back to back miscarriages. Four of them in a row.
Jamie: You were taking a lot of supplements before you even got pregnant. Will you tell us about that?
Jenna: Yeah, so between the ages of 41 and 42 is when I had those four back-to-back miscarriages. I joined literally any Facebook group about miscarriages, being over 40 and trying to get pregnant. I was probably in at least 10 groups.
I was probably taking at least 20, if not more supplements a day. If somebody would said, this worked for me. I was like, okay, or if this is supposed to help with egg quality, I started taking it. And they’re very expensive, those supplements. I thought, the more, the better.
I saw an herbalist who actually, I don’t know if the stuff that I started taking with her helped, but she was very empowering to me and saying that women throughout the ages, have gotten pregnant after age 40, so why couldn’t you? And she said that I should, have a mantra that my body is capable of getting pregnant, my body is capable of sustaining a pregnancy and having a healthy baby. So I kept that to heart what she said to me and just kept that determination of, maybe not this time, but maybe next time, the baby’s gonna stick. She had me taking a herbal infusion, stinging nettle and red raspberry that tasted absolutely horrible to me. It tasted like dirt water is my only description. But I would drink it down because I was like, maybe this will help, because she said that would help prepare my body for pregnancy. Nutritionally she told me to start eating bone broth, also cage-free eggs. So I did a lot more natural, not processed foods. I really started to be a lot healthier.
So I don’t know, it’s weird because you don’t really know what has actually helped because I was doing like literally everything I could. I drank that in herbal infusion for nine months straight every single day. I did not miss a day.
Then I got the norovirus and got really sick. I stopped doing everything. I stopped all of the supplements. I only did that prenatal vitamin. And a month or two later is when I got pregnant with my 3-year-old when I was 43.
Jamie: You know what’s interesting is steam nele is it gets a lot of nutrients and minerals. Yeah. And a lot of gardeners use it as a compost and they make like a compost tea out of it.
And, I love the idea that it’s, like we are the plant getting all the nutrients from the stinging nettle. I think that’s neat. Yeah.
Jenna: When she gave me the a list, a rundown of all the benefits of stinging nettle. It literally covers like so many body functioning.
Then she added the red raspberry and so I used both of those. It was like half and half the infusion.
Jamie: Yeah, I bet it was gross. Gross. I bet it was. Yeah.
Jenna: You’re not supposed to add anything sweet to it, I didn’t put it in juice because juice had sugar in it, so it was like literally just the water and then just that. And it was bad. It was really bad.
Jamie: I hear you and I know a lot of women right now are thinking I have, listened to this person, take a supplement and I took it too. ’cause
Jenna: Yeah.
Jamie: I am guilty of that too. I’m like, that helped. Oh, I need to take that too.
Jenna: Yeah. But yeah, because you’re grasping at straws especially when you hear like your clock ticking I was trying literally anything I could. I even did like the Mayan massage. I don’t know if you’ve heard of that.
Jamie: Yes. Yeah. You don’t know. Take us back to when you stopped everything.
Jenna: I was late and I’m normally really regular and I had so many pictures of previous pregnancy tests that were positive, but this one was, they call it like a, I forget how they, what they call it. It’s like a die stealer or something. Yeah. That the first line was so dark.
And then the next line was really light. So it was, I thought like a good sign. And the other ones were just like the normal colors, where it was just like they were both pretty much the same color. The same darkness of the color. But this one was so dark that I was like, oh, okay.
But because this was four in a row, we’re just like, I really hope this works out. And it was like, oh, here’s another test. Yay. It’s positive. I hated to be disappointed, so I was just setting myself up for failure. Thinking this might not work out, but I was still in the back of my mind maybe not this time, but maybe next time kind of thing. So I was really happy, especially because at that time I was 43 years old, so the clock was ticking.
Jamie: And then what happened? So going to nine weeks, you started to bleed.
Jenna: Yes. And it wasn’t just like a little bit of spotting kind of thing or, you hear it’s very light. It was clots, it was bright red blood, and I was just like, it’s happening again.
I had hyperemesis, so I was nauseous and throwing up. It’s weird because all my other pregnancies, I never had hyperemesis, but with this one I was throwing up at least 10 times a day. When I started bleeding, I don’t know if like somehow your body and your mind connect and they’re like, no, you’re blocking off the nausea or something. Because for a couple of days, I didn’t feel nauseous. It was really weird, so that’s why I was like, yeah, all right, it’s definitely a miscarriage. There’s no doubt about it. I’m feeling better.
We were on a family vacation and we went to a city museum in St. Louis. It’s a lot of climbing and slides and everything. I went down a slide, broke my hand and there was a stop and I was like, I don’t wanna go down the next part. ’cause I knew I broke my hand. I just knew it was broken, and you had to get out of there. When I slid, I flew and then I broke my tailbone.
Jamie: Oh my gosh.
Jenna: I went to the the urgent care, and they said I needed to go to the hospital ’cause they couldn’t do anything for the miscarriage. I went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound and that’s when they said the baby’s heart rate was really strong and that there was nothing with my cervix that was changing and that they found a small subc chorionic hematoma and that I was just supposed to stay off my feet.
Jamie: Wow.
Jenna: Ironically enough, the nausea slowly started to creep back in which is really weird. I can’t explain it. I was throwing up again like 10, 12 times a day. I stayed off my feet because I was so sick. The more I did anything or saw things or smelled things, the more I threw up.
And with a broken tailbone, they said not to sit on it because it would heal better if I was laying, and then I had a broken hand. I just literally laid for six weeks and hardly did anything. I did bare minimum of parenting. It was during the summer too, so my kids were like pretty free.
Jamie: Yeah. Wild kids. What was it like finding out that you didn’t have a miscarriage?
Jenna: I was only nine weeks and I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, so I just kept hoping that I was gonna reach that benchmark of the 12 weeks, because you hear statistically, things are gonna be better. I’ve always heard once you have an ultrasound where you have a heartbeat that you’re statistically not gonna miscarry, but I had so many ultrasounds at all of those miscarriages with heartbeats that statistically didn’t work out for me.
We held onto that picture and put it on the fridge. And we’re like, okay, hopefully this one works out. Having such a strong hyperemesis, I thought that my hormones were in overdrive trying to make sure the pregnancy stayed. I don’t know, I never had that with any of my other pregnancies. It was just weird that my last pregnancy is when I had it really bad.
Jamie: did you mention the dream that you had?
Jenna: Yeah. I forget how many months along, I wanna say I was close to the end of my pregnancy. I did have a dream that somebody was telling me that the reason the pregnancy was successful was that I was laid up with the broken tailbone and the broken hand, and it kept me off my feet because normally moms and just people in general, it’s always get up and go do this.
In my dream it said that was the reason the pregnancy was successful was because they were watching over me. That kept me off my feet and got her to stick. And it seems hokey, but it was a dream that like stuck out because when I woke up I was like, oh my gosh, that makes sense. I was completely off of my feet for six weeks unless I had to go to the bathroom or, make food for the kids kind of thing. I really didn’t do anything except go to doctor’s visits and I literally laid down.
Jamie: Yeah. Did you find out the gender?
Jenna: Yes. And because of having four girls, we were like, okay, come on.
Jamie: This is it.
Jenna: The pregnancy was so different with the hyperemesis. I was like, maybe, this is what it’s like to have a boy. We didn’t do it through the ultrasound. It was through the genetic blood test they do, and I was 10 weeks pregnant. They called up and said, so keep those pink clothes. And we’re like, oh, alright, cool. And we’re like, man, now we have to come up with another A name.
Jamie: If it was a boy, would it also be an A?
Jenna: No, actually we have a Z name.
Jamie: Oh, how fun.
Jenna: I don’t even know how I saw the word, the name Avalon and it means longed for. I thought this was the perfect name for her. So she right away was Avalon. Because the meaning meant a lot.
Jamie: I love that. And was there any product that you couldn’t live without that helped you that you would recommend for pregnancy?
Jenna: I was using little suck on candies that are supposed to help with nausea. I was using those like they were going out of style because it seemed to help keep things a little bit at bay. I was on a prescription like Zofran and that was supposed to help with the nausea.
As far as the pregnancy portion of it, I took a prenatal vitamin and because I have M-T-H-F-R gene. I don’t process folic acid, so I took thorn vitamins.
Jamie: And the rest of the pregnancy, did you feel nauseous throughout the pregnancy? Was it just the first trimester?
Jenna: It was two trimesters that I had that I was throwing up like nonstop, but when I look back, it was probably about, maybe like 10 times a day. I wanna say maybe like 27 weeks pregnant, 26 weeks pregnant all of a sudden it just went away. I thought that was really scary because I thought this is really bad.
I did have gestational diabetes, so I was monitored a lot more, I feel. So I had a lot more ultrasounds and everything was always okay. Yeah, it was just really weird. The hyperemesis just went away.
Jamie: Weird. Yeah. Did you need to take insulin or anything for it?
Jenna: Oh so for my fourth pregnancy I had the gestational diabetes and I was able to do it just by the diet. I was very strict about the diet and about the carbs and pricking your finger. I just started monitoring and I could tell that if I would have, say pasta, a lot of carbs, my numbers were really high, so I was very strict. Plus I was throwing up a lot, so I was very strict about making sure that by diet wise, my carbs were really low. I ate a lot of omelets. That was like my go-to was omelets and like chicken, and that was pretty much what I ate most of the pregnancy. So after she was born, I was like, oh my gosh, give me some pasta.
Jamie: Yeah, I bet.
Jenna: I didn’t eat sweets or anything like that. I was very strict because I was really scared about the insulin thing and I wanted to be as natural as I could. I didn’t want extra interventions once the baby was born. I was really worried about that golden hour.
I feel really lucky that I didn’t have to use insulin or anything like that.
Jamie: That’s great.
Jenna: I gained like 65 pounds when I’m pregnant. Even when I was 17, going to school and walking to work and everything like that, I gained 65 pounds, like literally every pregnancy. I gain a lot. With the last two pregnancies it wasn’t as much, but it was still, but the last pregnancy with the hyperemesis, yeah. I didn’t gain as much.
Jamie: And what’s the difference between pregnancy at say 17 and 43?
Jenna: I think just pregnancy really takes it out of you. I was tired when I was 17 and I was tired when I was 43. I feel like you’re making a baby, that’s to be expected. So I really didn’t feel any different as far as my ages go. Even after the baby was born, I don’t feel like my age played a factor in anything.
If you’re having a baby at 40, 3 45 or whatever, and your body’s able to do it, that your body is able to do it. I don’t feel like the age really mattered because your body was able to do it, if that makes any sense.
Jamie: Do you think that this was your hardest pregnancy? Where does that fall?
Jenna: Oh yes, it was my hardest pregnancy because I didn’t have hyperemesis with any other pregnancy. The gestational diabetes in my fourth pregnancy made me feel like a failure until I, or made me feel fat. Honestly, it made me feel like a failure and fat.
Jamie: Oh.
Jenna: Until I read that it really has to do with the placenta and that it really, even like skinny people, that kind of, or people that only gain, 10 pounds kind of people can get gestational diabetes and that it isn’t because you’re lazy or because you know you are eating the wrong stuff. That it’s just the way your body is and the placenta is. That was something that like I had to deal with when, in my fourth pregnancy and after realizing the reality that it really was out of my control. It didn’t hit me as bad when I realized, yeah, I got it again.
You feel like a failure when you take that test and you drink that really sugary water or whatever, drink or whatever, and then they’re like, you failed it. And you’re like, oh my gosh, I’m such a failure. But once I realized and read up on it that it really is out of your control that the gestational bi diabetes didn’t feel that big of a deal. And yes, but the hyperemesis made it. Because I had, the broken hand and the broken tailbone, like I was just like, I was a hot mess.
As, but as far as like the pregnancy itself goes, it was just like all my other ones. I have had like a facet problem with my back ever since I was pregnant with my 17-year-old, so I’ve always had a bad back. As far as like the back pain and everything, I was used to it.
But the pregnancy itself, the hyperemesis was really tough. It was really tough.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jenna: It took a lot outta me. So I feel for anybody who has it more than one pregnancy, any one pregnancy at all it’s tough. But in the end it’s worth it.
Jamie: Of course. How did you prepare for birth and for baby coming home?
Jenna: Yeah, so when I was 17, I obviously did classes at high school. I went to a special school program for pregnant moms. We did tons of classes. Because I had such a big gap between my second and third, we redid the classes with the LAMA and everything. Then after that I didn’t do any more classes because I was like, okay, those classes really didn’t help me as much as I thought they would.
We didn’t do any classes for the last one.
For my last two pregnancies, I had a doula, and my last doula was a lot better than my fourth doula. She worth her weight in gold. My husband had the best intentions, but he sat there very dumbfounded, is what to do to help me.
She was very proactive in saying, okay, let’s do this with her. Let’s press on her hips. Let’s move her in this position. How about she leans on you? So she really incorporated my husband. She was also a massage therapist, so she knew like positions and she like pressed on my hips and she empowered me to do what I initially wanted to do, which was to be completely pain, no interventions, no medicine at all.
We stayed at home as long as we could. With all the other ones, it was like, oh my gosh, we have to get to the hospital kind of thing. For my first two I was induced and that was another thing. I didn’t know at the time I was only 17, that doctors I really push Pitocin. I went into labor naturally with all of the other ones, and I was lucky that I didn’t have to be induced and that they weren’t pushing it because of my age.
My doctor wasn’t barry, your age, like everything’s a risk because of your age. She just treated me like a normal pregnant lady, which I was really grateful for.
Jamie: Now. Did she help you before you even started labor?
Jenna: I had her I had meetings with her a couple of times to go over my birth plan and my birth plan. The last one for my fifth one, I wanted to pull the baby out myself.
I don’t know why.
Jamie: I love that!
Jenna: It was really important to me and made sure my doctor knew about it. So she met with me and we did the birth plan. With all of my babies, I breastfed, so I wanted, to start breastfeeding as soon as possible. And because she was a massage therapist, I got massages out of it.
Jamie: Oh nice.
Jenna: So the package Came with some pregnancy massage, kind of thing, which I had never done before. And if I had any questions, any, anything, she was there, but even though it’s her job, I didn’t wanna bug her.
Jamie: That’s awesome. Talk us through the day you went into labor. What was it like? What were you doing? Start from there.
Jenna: I actually had very consistent contractions. It was my husband’s birthday I was timing them, and I was like, I don’t wanna get ’em excited because I was afraid that it would be false or something. They’re like every half hour. I had ’em, really consistent, but they never got really much closer. Then it just stopped.
Two days later that started again where they were the Braxton Hicks contractions were being very consistent and they were getting a little bit stronger. I thought, okay, that just happened two days ago. It’s probably just a false alarm, so I didn’t wanna get anybody involved. It was a very gradual progression, which is something so different because my first two births were induced and they were just like, hello, you’re in labor and it’s gonna be horrible.
It was really neat for me to see the natural process of it, because it was a slow progression where your body was getting used to the contractions. Then I was like, okay, this is actually really being more consistent. They were getting stronger. I had my husband come home from work and I still didn’t call the doula. I was like, just to be on the safe side.
My husband’s okay. The doula makes sure the husband has her cell phone too. He was like, she’s in labor, I’m pretty sure. That’s when she reached out me out to me and was like, Jenna, are you in labor? And I’m like, maybe, but this happened two days ago and it stopped. She came and had me do a lot of positions, different positions to keep the labor going.
Jamie: Can you describe them?
Jenna: Sure. She had me on my couch, on my knees, with my hands on the floor during every contraction to help get the baby in the right position.
Jamie: Okay.
Jenna: So right when the contraction would start, I would go in that position. I know it worked because the baby was in the right position. Every contraction I would lean forward. I also had a birthing ball, so in between contractions I was doing a lot of bouncing on the birthing ball and doing circles with my hips to help open things up.
I think it’s called a rebozo or something. It’s like a piece of fabric that she put on my belly. While I was on my hands and knees and cradled my belly during the contractions.
Are you looking up right now?
Jamie: Uhhuh? Yeah, I think you’re right.
Jenna: Is that how you pronounce it? I’m so bad at pronunciations.
Jamie: I don’t know if I’m pronouncing it right, but the way you said it, it sounds like R-E-B-O-Z-O.
Jenna: Yeah. She had me doing that and that really helped with the pain. She had this like long piece of fabric that she put, under my belly and moved it around during the contractions.
Jamie: And it helped?
Jenna: Yeah. And actually the other thing that helped me a great deal was when my hips were being pushed together during the contractions. I don’t know if it’s something to focus on or if it does help somehow, but that really helped with the pain.
She just kept telling me things like, your body knows what it’s doing. You feel like you’re out of control when you’re in labor because it’s happening to you and you can’t do anything about it. She kept reminding me that my body knows what it’s doing, my body is doing what needs to be done right now. And that it’s a good thing. The contractions are helping to push the baby, that kind of thing. I feel was helpful to me anyways.
Once the contractions were, I wanna say three minutes apart, that’s when we went to the hospital. My plan was to walk around as much as possible, but her heart rate wasn’t doing what they wanted during a contraction. I was stuck on the monitors, so I could move to a certain degree as long as the cords were, but I still had to stay in my room. I wasn’t allowed to walk around.
I did a lot of standing and rocking and man, I was always on that birth ball. Rotating my hips and everything. I had a lot of contractions on the toilet because they didn’t seem like it seemed to somehow help with the pain. Which seems weird.
Jamie: Do you remember how far along dilated you were when you got to the hospital?
Jenna: Five centimeters. I thought this time I’m going in, it’s gonna be like I’m almost ready to give birth. And then you hear oh, you’re only five centimeters and you feel so defeated because you’re like, no, but I’ve been in labor forever and the constructions are really bad. Oh my gosh, this is gonna be like so many more hours of this, because I’m only at five or six centimeters.
Jamie: I was impressed You were at five when you got to the hospital.
Jenna: I was in labor for so long! she reminded me , that’s a number. She’s it doesn’t matter. You can literally go from five to 10 centimeters within a couple minutes. It’s not a big thing, because that’s the other thing is that you just feel like so defeated, and I did. And then I was like, okay, I got this. She just kept me. She was really good and she was really good with keeping my husband involved. It was a very loving experience with my husband and everything because she really kept him involved.
I feel like people think a doula is gonna take over or something. I think a really good doula is going to, keep everybody together. She even had me try to put the blanket over my head and his head and put my arms around his shoulders ’cause she said sometimes smelling like your husband or something like that and being really close is going to like, help with endorphins and all this other kind of stuff.
It just annoyed me. So that didn’t work out so good. The best thing for me that I found was the whole rocking. I just did a lot of rocking during contractions. It was like instinctive, rocking. She kept changing positions, okay, let’s try a couple contractions on your hands and knees on the bed with the birth ball and leaning over it. I automatically was just always rocking.
It was just like, it was somehow helpful.
Jamie: Now, did you ever want pain relief during labor? Were you ready to go take it back?
Jenna: I didn’t wanna do an epidural because when I was a doula, I saw one of my births and it was so detached because she couldn’t feel where to push. I wanted to see if I could do it naturally. For every one of my births, I never did the epidural. I did do pain medication. It was just like a shot. They could only give it to you one or two times. I wanna say it’s like New Bain or it was something in. It only lasted for a little bit. I wanted to just try to do it completely natural. My goal was to pull her out myself.
Jamie: I love that!
Jenna: Her heart rate started to I think drop a lot. My doctor was like, we’re gonna break your waters, so it might be really intense. She wanted to get her out and I was like, I didn’t know if this is gonna be a C-section kind of thing. So I was like, yeah, do what you gotta do.
I guess I have to backtrack. When I had my second daughter, they broke the water as a way to induce me. It didn’t do anything for me. And they gave me Pitocin too after a couple hours of the water being broken and nothing happening.
So when she said she was gonna break the water, I was like the last time, many pregnancies ago, it didn’t really help me, but Okay. Kind of thing. My contractions were really bad, They went to a bazillion past that. It was so horrible. I thought, oh my gosh, is there gonna be hours of this?
It was only three or four contractions after my water’s broken that I was like, I feel like I have to push. Because I was only at five or six kind of thing. Then they checked me and they’re like, yep, she’s ready to push. And then I was on my hands and knees and I thought, okay, this is just how I’m going to have the baby. They’re like, remember Jenna, you wanted to pull the baby out yourself? It’s gonna be a lot easier if you move. But I was in so much insane pain that I felt so out of control that I was like, are you sure I can actually move at this point because I was already pushing. And they’re like, yep, you can move. Both my doula and my doctor were very stern with me because they were like, no, Jenna, this is what you wanna do. I was very adamant beforehand with the whole pulling the baby out myself kind of thing.
I did get on my back and then they were like, okay, the head’s coming out. Get your hands down there. I was dumbfounded that, oh yeah, duh, this is what I wanna do. It’s like I almost forgot I was pushing for nine months. I was able to pull her out and pull her out myself. That really felt like insanely empowering.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jenna: I am woman here, Aurora, I got this kind of thing. That was like probably the best one just because I was completely medication free. Even though I had that little glitch of I can’t walk around because of her heart rate kind of thing, pulling her out myself was just pretty awesome.
Jamie: That is a new goal for me. I wanna do it too.
Jenna: Yeah.
Jamie: Beautiful. So was anything important to you keeping the placenta or delayed cord clamping, any of that?
Jenna: I was very adamant about the delayed cord clamping. But I wanna say it was only like a minute or two, and then they clamped the cord. And I had thought about doing the placenta encapsulation, but then I was reading so many conflicting reports and like different things on it that your body was expelling it, so therefore you don’t need to take those encapsulations kind of thing. I’ve never had postpartum depression, so I didn’t do the encapsulation.
Jamie: Was skin to skin important to you?
Jenna: Yes. And the one other thing that was important to me was I didn’t want the, they put that goopy stuff in the baby’s eyes that, like erythromycin or something. I wanted that to be delayed as, as long as possible. The babies are so wide awake after they’re born and there’s that golden hour they talk about where they’re awake and you can breastfeed. I was very adamant that if the baby was healthy and if she could stay by me and to delay the goopy stuff.
I also delayed their, her bath. I feel as more, you do more and you do better. Through all of my pregnancies, I changed what my thought process was of like things to do. They always talk about their baby’s first bath, let’s do that in the hospital kind of thing. But after doing all sorts of reading and everything, they say, that like the, I’m really bad at pronunciation. It’s like Vernix or whatever that is on their skin is like a natural lotion basically to keep their skin moisturized, that’s the word I was looking for, moisturized. And so I was very adamant that she didn’t have her bath. We actually didn’t give her first bath until she got home from the hospital.
I also didn’t take a shower right away. They say your scent is a big factor for them for everything. So I waited as long as I could. I really need a shower. I kept reading that your scent is very important and they can smell that. So I delayed all that kind of stuff.
Jamie: And do you think that made a difference?
Jenna: I don’t know. I am very proud of the fact that even as a 17-year-old, I was very adamant about breastfeeding. I had no family members to look up to and say, oh, look at they breastfed. Back when I was 17, I read how it’s supposed to be so amazing for the baby and it’s natural. I was literally the only high school, person in my class that was breastfeeding. Everybody else went straight to formula. And I was really lucky that my first baby was like amazing at breastfeeding and it just was very seamless. With all of my babies, I just was very determined about. I don’t look down on anybody that does formula, but for me, I felt very strongly that I wanted to breastfeed my children.
I’ve been very grateful and lucky that I was able to breastfeed all of my babies.
Jamie: Yeah, that’s amazing.
Jenna: I have a 3-year-old who is still breastfeeding.
Jamie: Oh, that’s awesome. I was thinking the 17-year-old me would give up on breastfeeding real quick.
Jenna: Yeah. The more you read about it, it is so fascinating because it’s insane how tailored to your baby. It’s just insane.
Jamie: Yeah. What are your goals for breastfeeding your daughter, your 3-year-old, are you going to keep going?
Jenna: It’s weird because with my first daughter, she was like a year and a half and then she weaned herself is, but when I look back, she probably was just going through a little nursing strike and I probably could have breastfed her more. But I was 18 at the time, so I was like, oh, I guess we’re done breastfeeding.
My next daughter, she was almost two. For a selfish reason, I wanted to stop breastfeeding because it’s a diet drug I wanted to go that you could get a prescription.
Jamie: oh, yes. Yes.
Jenna: People say breastfeeding, you lose so much weight and for me, I never lost all sorts of weight from breastfeeding. I had her when I was 20, so when I was 22 I was like, I really wanna, get thin. So I weaned her myself and we cut down feedings and everything.
My next daughter, she was three and a half, and then I got pregnant. And your boobs get sensitive, or at least minded. And so then I was like, okay, like maybe we should stop nursing. And then my milk dried up. She did a little bit of dry nursing, where she wasn’t really getting any milk at that point. Then she just it just stopped. It was a very natural thing.
For my next daughter was over four and she was still breastfeeding, which my 17-year-old self would probably be like, Ew, that’s so gross. Why? But it just seemed natural. I did the same thing where once my milk started to dry up, then I didn’t offer but I didn’t stop her. She got less and less because there really wasn’t any milk at that point. We had a goal where we’re like, okay, when you stop breastfeeding, you’re gonna get this toy. she picked out a toy and let her get a cake. We like celebrated, yay, you stopped breastfeeding.
So now, I have a 3-year-old and I’m just letting her take the reins and whenever she wants to stop, and she sometimes nurses more than a newborn on some days.
Jamie: Wow.
Jenna: So I’m just waiting to see how that’s gonna go because every other time pregnancy stopped it. Now I’m 47, so we’ll see how long we go. I’m thinking she’ll be at least four because everyone got older and older, so I think she’ll be at least four.
Jamie: I’m impressed that you can have milk for that long.
Jenna: It’s supply and demand. If you keep at it, I just wanna be really positive about breastfeeding. If you really wanna do it and you keep at it like, you can do this, your body was meant to do this.
Jamie: I love how passionate you are about breastfeeding. You can really tell.
Jenna: I went to the Lache League meetings and everything, which is a really good support when you have questions. The person that in my area that runs it is like the breastfeeding guru.
So if, ’cause there’s so many doctors that will be like, oh, if you’re on this medication you should probably stop breastfeeding. Or, oh, if you need this test, you’re gonna have to pump and dump kind of thing. Doctors are really going on the air of caution. So they just say these things, but actually there might be another medication that you could take that is more more compatible with breastfeeding or there’s, there they say so much for pump and dump, but you really don’t have to pump and dump your body filters through it.
There’s this huge book and there’s different, I think it’s LacMed or something online that you can just put in the medication that they wanna give you and you can see how like compatible it is with breastfeeding and it will tell you ones that might be better for breastfeeding.
Jamie: Cool.
Jenna: If you have to be an antibiotic or something, there’s certain antibiotics that you should not take when you’re breastfeeding, but there’s ones that are more compatible that you can take. So yeah, and if I would ever have any questions, I would literally just like message the La Lache league leader here and she just would take screenshots and she was very helpful as far as, what medication works, what doesn’t work, kind of thing.
So there’s so many resources out there, especially now with the internet, that I didn’t have back when I was like 20 years old that are so helpful for moms in general.
Jamie: That’s awesome.
Jenna: I feel more empowered.
Jamie: Yeah. To make your own decisions.
Jenna: Yeah.
Jamie: How was your recovery?
Jenna: I did not have postpartum depression with any of my babies. I was also lucky with the last baby, I did not need an episiotomy. I was really adamant about not having one ’cause the first two, they just automatically cut me without even asking me. I was so young that I didn’t know Hey, I have a choice. So those recoveries with an episiotomy were a lot more painful.
With my last daughter, she was actually my smallest baby, so that probably helped. She was six pounds, 11 ounces. I was lucky I didn’t have an episiotomy, so it felt I don’t wanna say a cakewalk, but it just felt so much better. It seemed like I healed up so much faster because I didn’t have stitches.
I was putting those witch hazel like pads down there.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jenna: Seriously, the witch hazel pads, if you keep ’em in the refrigerator, I really really strongly suggest people using those. They give you this like bottle to put warm water in and those were my two, like every single time I went to the bathroom. They were amazing.
Jamie: Is there anything else you wanna add to your pregnancy or birth?
Jenna: I really want women to know that after 35 it is possible. And even after 40, you still can, there’s some good eggs in there. I had two professionals telling me, sorry, your eggs are probably bad, it’s probably your age.
If you feel in your heart to keep going, whether you have to have donor eggs like you just keep going. Feel empowered by their bodies and you still can be successful. I find your Instagram page is inspirational and this lady was 45 and she had a baby, when I was like 42 or something, I was like those stories, yes, women are meant to still have babies in their forties. We’re not that old.
Jamie: I love that.
Jenna: Yeah.
Jamie: You mentioned a little bit before, but do you have plans to have more kids in your forties?
Jenna: I’m 47 now. And I know I’m here and I’m in so many different groups where people are 47, 46, 48. You hear about even like 49. If it would happen, I would be so happy, but we’re not trying. That’s my answer. We’re not trying.
Jamie: What has been your biggest challenge being pregnant in your forties?
Jenna: My biggest challenge is everybody else. I feel that, I had friends joking oh, by this age when the baby’s this age, you’re gonna be this age or, that kind of thing where people are. I don’t wanna say naysayers or doomsday, but they’re not super positive. I did have positive people around me, but there’s just so much coming in, even from the medical community that make it seem like, you’re so high risk, I can’t believe this is happening.
Jamie: Yeah.
Jenna: But I feel like that was the biggest challenge. It is the most rewarding thing being a mom. And I feel like honestly, my age makes it better than when I was younger, because when I was younger I was also growing up, even when I was in my thirties, I feel like I was growing up.
The older I am, the more wise I am and the more grateful I am for every experience. If anybody is, questioning should I or shouldn’t I have another one? I’m already, 43 no, go for it. If you have that thought that you might want one, I’d rather you would regret it that you didn’t, kind of thing. Our family is so much greater by having the one that, that I tried so hard for, and that I kept going for, she is just a spitfire. I just can’t emphasize that enough that, if you’re listening to the story, just keep going. You, it’s just one, one egg.
And if I kept thinking that if a miracle could happen to other people, why couldn’t a miracle happen to me? Miracles happen every day, so why couldn’t I be this miracle? And I feel like my last pregnancy was a miracle that it happened, yeah. I love your page. I just have to applaud your page.
Jamie: Oh, thank you.
Jenna: So inspirational. I just, I love hearing the stories. I just absolutely love it.
Jamie: Yeah. My mom had six miscarriages.
Jenna: Oh my God.
Jamie: So she always talked about it growing up, and that’s probably something why I’m so comfortable talking about it.
And it was almost just meant to be that I take on this role of
Jenna: Yeah.
Jamie: Opening women up to talk
Jenna: about it. Yeah. If you’re giving a voice to women that normally we don’t have a voice about that. Yeah. And your mom culturally, they were supposed to keep quiet about that. You just don’t talk about that.
Jamie: Is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth over 40?
Jenna: Gosh, I don’t know. You just hear so many stories that when I stopped trying is when I got pregnant, kind of thing. And that’s, I literally stopped, like I stopped taking all of the medications.
Jamie: You’re the epitome of that.
Jenna: I like literally stopped every, ’cause I was on every supplement, every vitamin you can think of I was on it and I just, I stopped and it was probably luck, but it was just like a coincidence that it happened. But there was nothing that I can like adamantly say, is what helped me. It was just my own determination to keep going. And honestly, I probably would’ve kept going like miscarriage after miscarriage until I was in menopause.
I didn’t give up and, your pages like yours are what kept me going. Honestly. It just was one of, it just was like reading other people’s success stories and hearing about other people’s success stories. Added fuel to my fire of determination and yeah, I just kept going.
Jamie: I love that. What advice would you give yourself when you were pregnant, if you could go back?
Jenna: I just kept looking at the end goal, you’re gonna get the most amazing thing out of it. I would just remind myself, which I did that everything is worth it because in the end, every, because I had the gestational diabetes, and so I hated pricking my finger, and I just had to keep telling myself that it was for a good cause because.
I was never one of those people that I love being pregnant. One of the things that I did and I really encourage moms to do is to do like a pregnancy photo shoot. Even if it’s your husband taking the photos or a professional one. My older daughter dabbles in photography. So for my last one we did a pregnancy photo shoot. Those are some of my favorite photos because it’s the time that you’re never gonna have back, and you just are able to look back. I felt so, like just insanely large. When I look back at my pictures, and I cherish those pictures. Even though you feel large, you’re gonna be like, I was actually cute. I would tell myself that I’m beautiful.
Jamie: Now, what prompted that photo shoot?
Jenna: I have I’d never done a photo shoot before, and she had been doing different photography and I was like, Hey, would you be willing to do this? And she was like, yeah. And she did an amazing job.
Jamie: Awesome.
Jenna: I think people should take a lot more pictures of themselves.
Jamie: you have such a beautiful, empowering story. Jenna, thank you so much for sharing your story on the show.
Jenna: I hope that it somehow touches somebody and helps ’em in any way.