71. After three different doctors told her natural conception was impossible, Orla defied the odds to welcome her miracle baby at 41. Join us for an empowering conversation on overcoming medical skepticism and finding the strength to believe in your body when the world says “no.”
On episode 71, At 41 years old, Orla was faced with a devastating reality: three different doctors had told her that conceiving naturally was an impossibility. In this episode, Orla shares her incredible journey of defying those medical odds and the emotional resilience required to keep going when the experts have counted you out. We discuss the mindset shift she underwent after receiving her “no’s,” the holistic steps she took to support her fertility, and the moment she realized that the medical diagnosis wasn’t the final word on her story. Orla’s experience is a powerful testament to the importance of listening to your own body and seeking out the “yes” even in the face of discouraging data.
The conversation dives into the joy and anxiety of a natural pregnancy at 41, especially after being labeled as “infertile” by the medical community. Orla opens up about her pregnancy journey, her birth experience, and the life-changing reality of holding the miracle she was told would never happen. Whether you have been told your egg quality is too low, your age is too high, or your chances are zero, Orla’s story of “Three Doctors and One Miracle” offers a much-needed dose of hope and empowerment. It is a reminder that while medical statistics are a tool, they are not your destiny.
About the Guest
Orla is a mother and a beacon of hope for women navigating the challenges of advanced maternal age. After being told by three separate specialists that she would not be able to conceive naturally, Orla refused to let a medical “no” be the final answer to her dreams of motherhood. At 41, she successfully conceived and delivered her miracle baby, proving that persistence and self-belief can defy even the most discouraging statistics. Today, she shares her story to empower other women to trust their intuition, advocate for their reproductive health, and remain open to the possibility of miracles, no matter what the data might say.
Connect with Orla:
Instagram: @irishmammy_and_herlittles
Book: Love Thy Body, Real Life Stories Volume 3
Key Topics
- Advocating Beyond the Diagnosis: How to handle the emotional weight of being told pregnancy is “impossible” and the importance of seeking second (or fourth) opinions.
- The Power of Natural Conception at 41: Defying the statistical odds and the “geriatric” labels often given by the medical community.
- Mindset and Holistic Support: The role of mental resilience and supporting your body’s fertility naturally after age 40.
- Navigating Medical Skepticism: Maintaining hope and peace during your pregnancy journey when your history is marked by discouraging medical advice.
Resources & Links:
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase. I only recommend products our guests truly love!
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YouTube: Watch Episodes HERE
Product Recommendation: Seven Seas Prenatal Vitamin & When Skies are Gray: A Grieving Mother’s Lullaby & Lindsey Henke Pregnancy After Loss Affirmations & Magnesium Butter
Podcast Recommendation: The Worst Girl Gang Podcast
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Community: Join the Over 40 Fabulous Facebook Group
Transcript
Jamie: orla, welcome to the show.
Orla: Hi Jamie. Thanks for having me.
Jamie: She is sharing her pregnancy at 41, and boy does she have an amazing story. Orla, will you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Orla: I’m mum of six. I’ve got Lachlan, who’s four. I’ve got four angels Regan, Riley Quinn and Kaylin. And also, my little rainbow baby called Lin, who’s 11 months. Also I’m a dog mum. Molly my Spaniel who’s three in January. And my lovely husband, Stewart. I’m from Galway, the west of Ireland originally, but I live in Leicestershire in the uk.
Jamie: So she was pregnant at 41. That’s our story that we’re sharing, but her story kind of starts in her late thirties after she had her first pregnancy. So can you start us from there?
Orla: Yeah, so I met my husband on Tinder. I had never had any luck with men. And then I met my bearded husband in April, 2018. It was a whirlwind romance I suppose with our age and everything.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my early thirties. Endometriosis stage three. Before I met Stewart, I was begging my consultant to have a hysterectomy. I was in that much pain with my endometriosis.
Jamie: Oh.
Orla: He was like, no, I want to give you the chance of a family. I was like, i’ve been single for four years. Jesus. I’m never gonna meet the right person. Little did I know my steward was around the block.
Before I went on my first date, I said, if you want a family, if you want children, I’m probably not the best person for you because I’ve been told that my endometriosis is just getting worse and I might never be a mum. I’ve been told that by three consultants previous.
Jamie: Wow.
Orla: I pushed him away constantly because I was going through trauma therapy for domestic abuse and my past for PTSD. I pushed Stewart far away from me constantly, and he just kept coming back. He gave me the space I needed. Did four months of intense narrative exposure therapy with the trauma unit to deal with my past. And then I could move on and have a life with Stewart. And that’s what I did. He moved in with me. I had surgery in December, 2018 for endometriosis. It’s there when my consultant said to me, you have the most tiniest ovaries I’ve ever seen.
If you release an egg, it will be a miracle.
Jamie: Oh
Orla: my gosh, backwards. Yeah. He said, if you’re not pregnant in three months, I’m referring you for IBS. Because I’d never, ever gotten pregnant with any previous partner or anything,
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: When he did that surgery, I also had a septate uterus, so they actually reduced my risk of miscarriage from 40% to 25% during that surgery. Yeah.
Jamie: Wow.
Orla: It’s probably because of that surgery that I have. My little boy Lachlan. Really? So it is so then he said to me, I’ve given you three months to conceive and if you don’t, you’re going, you’re coming back to the fertility clinic and then we’ll refer you for IVF for fertility treatment.
I was like, oh my God. And I was like, but we only met do you know what I mean? Of just we’re, we weren’t even a year together. And we were like, oh man. It was just like, what do you do in this situation. I knew that Stewart was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, he knew the same.
So we just said, do you know what? We’ll just go for it. We started trying to conceive six weeks after surgery. Luckily I didn’t realize I have hyper hyper. What’s called ovulation, the hyper you ovulate quite quick.
What’s it there’s a word for it. My consultant told me that I catch quickly. I catch a pregnancy very quickly. We were actually blessed with our lovely Lachlan. We started trying for him the end of January, and we caught very quickly within the first two weeks of trying for him.
Jamie: Oh my gosh.
Orla: Yeah. So it was meant to be. Yeah, because I’ve never, ever been pregnant with any other previous partner. On the 6th of March, it’s quite sad. It’s a happy but sad. I’ve been feeling sick for a couple of weeks and I love my tea. I’m Irish. I absolutely love my tea. I felt really nauseous and we were wondering whether we were, and they were like, we hadn’t been trying to conceive for long. We said we’ll do a test.
Anyway, we had a test and it was quarter past five and I will never ever forget it. On the 6th of March, I did a test and it was positive and we just burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it. But unfortunately, just over five hours later, I got a call from home to say that my grandmother had passed away on the same day. It was happy news and then devastating sadness.
Jamie: Yeah. Tell us what your grandmother said.
Orla: When I went over to my grandmother’s funeral, I told my mom that I was about four weeks five weeks pregnant with Lachlan, probably four weeks pregnant. She said that before she passed away, she said that there was a baby coming into the family, and that baby was my Lachlan. Which is absolutely amazing.
I ended up going into hospital with pains after we come back from the funeral. They thought it might have been endometriosis, but because I was pregnant, they thought it might have been an ectopic. They had to rule out that lachlan’s pregnancy wasn’t an ectopic. Thankfully it wasn’t. Because of my septic uterus, although I had the surgery, I was still a high risk pregnancy. I was high risk of having Lachlan before 24 weeks.
I was living in Nottingham where I was working as a hepatitis nurse specialist at the time, so a liver nurse specialist. We were referred under a specialist in fecal medicine at the time. I had to have scans every two weeks with Lachlan.
Jamie: Wow.
Orla: I had something like 24 scans in total. I paid for three private scans and had like about, I dunno, 21 scans with the NHS.
Jamie: Uhhuh,
Orla: That’s how high risk he was.
Jamie: When did you give birth to him? How far along were you?
Orla: I was 38 weeks and one day, and via a c-section.
There’s a number of reasons why I had them as via a c-section. First, mentally, physically, I didn’t think I would be strong enough because of my endometriosis was so painful and also because of the septate uterus. I was at risk of bleeding basically during natural delivery because my uterus wouldn’t contract back. That was another worry. Mentally, I was absolutely terrified. I had prenatal anxiety as well with this pregnancy. So they gave me the option to have him via C-section or a natural delivery.
Jamie: To carry him to 38 weeks and they thought 24.
Orla: Yeah.
Jamie: What happened after that, your pregnancies following after that.
Orla: When Lachlan was eight months old myself and Stewart decided to try for a sibling. The same thing happened. I caught quite quickly. I found out I was pregnant that August in the middle of lockdown.
It was the same symptoms, it was different bleeding wise I suppose. I bled on Lachlan when I was 10 and a half weeks pregnant, and I was terrified I was going to lose him. I was in the middle of a bra and I needed the toilet. And I went into the bathroom in a department store here in England and Ireland, and saw blood, bright red blood. I absolutely panicked and the blood just wouldn’t stop. Luckily, it was a false alarm with Lachlan.
Some women bleed more than others and it’s not a miscarriage. Because that happened I tried to relax when I saw blood. I rang up the early pregnancy unit and they said, unless you’re bleeding golf ball mount of blood, it’s nothing to worry about. So we went to our early scan and we thought I was miscarrying. There was actually two babies.
Sorry. We were pregnant with twins. They were in the same sick back. Because I was bleeding so much, they said they needed to rebook us a scan. I went, like 10 days or something. We were told there was no heartbeat for either of them.
Jamie: I’m so sorry.
Orla: And the twins were gone. Sorry,
Jamie: Orla. Thank you for sharing. No, these are so hard for all of us. On this show, it’s really important that we share our losses because we aren’t alone. We’ve all possibly gone through this, so thank you.
Orla: So I named my twins Regan and Riley. I found out later in my spiritual journey that the two girls identical twin girls but it doesn’t end there unfortunately. She had ask me to marry ’em. I still got married.
Jamie: Wow.
Orla: Like I don’t have wedding pictures up in the house or anything because I was still carrying, this is a longer story. I ended up having an incomplete miscarriage. It so that Friday I found out that I I had miscarried or was miscarrying my twins girls. I would like to pass them naturally ’cause I don’t wanna be in the hospital. It was just horrific.
Jamie: I’m sure you fell alone.
Orla: I had an incomplete miscarriage, so I had to be scheduled after my wedding for that. It’s called a manual evacuation or something.
Jamie: Uhhuh. What an awful thing to go through.
Orla: I hate the word miscarriage for a start anyway. Baby loss, early, baby loss. Like what? When I lost my twins, people were like, oh, how long, how far along were you? And I absolutely hate that question. How far along? Do you know what I mean?
Jamie: It doesn’t matter.
Orla: Because to me, gestation does not matter.
Jamie: Yeah. It’s all hard.
Orla: I don’t think people should compare grief.
And then we although like myself and my husband Stewart were absolutely and utterly devastated. We thought it might have been just bad luck. So then we said there that time is not on our side because of me having stage three endometriosis. Lachlan was a miracle baby as it is. I never, ever expected to be fall pregnant, nevermind we’re twins. So I said to, we had this conversation, we try again, and we did.
And, but unfortunately just over six weeks, we’re told that another girl Quinn was no heartbeat and she was gone.
So by then, it’s not bad luck. Over here there’s what’s called a recurrent miscarriage clinic. It’s Tommy’s, they’re a well-known clinic. I rang my GP and I told them that I had another baby loss. I begged him can I be referred to Tommy’s? And he was like you have to lose three babies to be referred to Tommy’s. And I said what do you think twins are? I said, they don’t share a heart. They’re three, it is three babies. I’ve lost two twins.
And with my age, I was coming up to 40 at this stage. I want to be referred to Tommy’s recurrent miscarriage clinic. Thankfully I had to argue my case, but I said I had lost three babies.
Jamie: Yeah. Good for you for advocating for yourself.
Orla: Also they have another clause that you have to be over a certain age as well to get to be referred. I think it’s over 35, 36, but don’t quote me on that. I said, that I’m trying to give my son a living sibling and I’ve had basically three losses. I was referred to a fantastic consultant called Professor Quimbee.
She’s absolutely amazing. The trial that she put me on is the endometriosis trial which is inflammation of the end endometrium . She wanted to check if that’s what was causing my miscarriages. they do a biopsy to find out whether you have endometriosis, and then treat it with either doxycycline which is the antibiotic, or a placebo drug. It’s a blind trial.
I didn’t know if I had doxy or I didn’t know if I had the placebo drug. I knew I had the, I was diagnosed with endometriosis as well as endometriosis.
Jamie: Geez.
Orla: I don’t know whether I had placebo or doxycycline, but I felt really sick on the medication. I’m almost certain that I had doxy, but I don’t know. I was too sick to attend the biopsy that finds out whether it’s cleared unfortunately. I didn’t know whether it was successful or not, unfortunately.
My mental health was basically getting diminished by now. My P-T-S-D-A was re-triggered by all this baby loss.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: And my nightmares just got worse and worse. I was signed off sick with re-triggering PTSD from work at the time. When I lost the twins, I buried it. I’m in recovery. I’ll be 18 years sober on the 29th of April. I didn’t want to drink, but I was closer to going insane.
So that’s when my spiritual life really helped. I have a reiki therapist, an angeliki angelic reiki therapist called Vicki Hughes, who has just been absolutely amazing. She’s come a good friend of mine and she helped me through my trauma and my grief by doing angelic reiki with me. I’ve followed in her footsteps and I’ve just become qualified in the area. I hope to help other women with that. For me, medication is not the answer being in recovery. I found Vicki and I just upped my reiki sessions after I lost my twins and especially after Quinn, I started having more reiki to help with my grief and trauma.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: It really hit home after I lost Quinn. My relationship with my husband really struggled as well emotionally and physically. You don’t want them near you. Intimacy. I just, even a hug would just make me, I dunno.
Jamie: For me, it was like a protective bubble that I need to protect myself and if I show emotion, then I’m vulnerable. And I don’t wanna get hurt.
Orla: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we decided to adopt a puppy before we found out we were pregnant with Quinn. Not to fill the void, but we had that so much love to give. And I needed that distraction. even waiting for her to come into our arms from a puppy, I was terrified she was gonna die. I’ve been terrified that anyone’s gonna die since I’ve lost my twins.
Jamie: Wow.
Orla: It’s massively changed my relationship with my son. I was terrified anything would happen. I wouldn’t even leave him in people’s company. I was just that anxious. I also got baby loss counseling. I’ve had two years of baby loss counseling.
I dunno if you know the worst girl gang ever?
Jamie: No,
Orla: It’s a podcast. The Worst Girl Gang ever but it’s a community. I ended up doing a course through my counselor , Amy. She put me on a course called pathway to Recovery. It’s trying to come to terms with what the baby loss and giving you the strength and courage to grow. I did that course after losing Quinn. I would highly recommend it.
Jamie: I think it’s really strong of you to see that you needed help and you seem like you really gathered this amazing team to really help you through all this.
Orla: Yeah, definitely a little village. I was put on progesterone to help the baby stick, as they say. They were convinced I needed progesterone to help me along. They said, take it the minute I get a positive test. I got a positive test with Kaylin my little boy. But sadly, I miscarried Kaylin at six weeks. So Kaylyn was an early loss as well.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, even in the darkness there is always light. That beacon of light is called hope to me, and I actually tattooed it on my foot.
Jamie: I love that.
Orla: It’s on my foot with a sunflower that there is the speaking of light, which is called Hope.
After that, we took a bit of time. The consultant noticed I was struggling mentally. This is when she said to me Orla, now you’ve lost four babies. You have a decision to make. You can either take a break. She said she really highly suggested I take a break from trying to conceive.
She could see the heartbreak I had after losing all four of my babies. She said, take a break. So we decided to take a break and focus on what we had. I have a little boy I absolutely love and adore. This is when I resigned from nursing to be with my little boy and before he went to preschool.
Then one night in April, my 17th recovery birthday, we went to postmodern Jukebox, you know them
Jamie: Uhuh? Is that a band or?
Orla: Oh, they’re amazing. They’re in the States. Postmodern jukebox. They do covers, but they’re jazz and and upbeat. So we went to see them. Stewart booked tickets, he booked tickets actually before lockdown and the pandemic. They had to be re rescheduled all the time.
Finally we got to go in April last year. He booked a hotel and it was lovely to have that little time away and his mother babysat Lachlan overnight. I had a bit of worry about leaving Lachlan, we needed the break. Then we said, ah, do you know what, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, and I hate that. I used to hate that when people say, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. I’ve been told that for years.
I’m like, oh, you stop away. Would you like
Jamie: a new phrase?
Orla: Yeah, exactly. It’s like our, it’ll happen when you least expect it. I’m like, heck off.
Jamie: Yes, I do.
Orla: But yeah, so we did the deed as I say, and.. .
Jamie: I think it’s so amazing how often you were actually able to get pregnant because the doctor at the very beginning said, you
Orla: Yeah.
Jamie: Have almost no chance.
Orla: I know
Jamie: and here you are.
Orla: I can’t understand ’cause my consultant had said I had that hyper is a hyper mo. Hyper fertility is it? I should know. I’ve got baby brain and I’ve just recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so I’ve got brain fog is really practice.
Jamie: That’s okay. Okay. It says hyper fertility is women. Often begin their periods early, have very regular cycles. You could set a clock and fall pregnant easily.
Orla: Yeah, that’s me. I was regular all the time.
Jamie: Wow. So I’m so just in awe.
Orla: Yeah. So I didn’t know I had that until I went to her anyway. So Tommy prescribed me progesterone again, even though I had lost Kaylin.
This was our last fry because we were just exhausted emotionally, physically, I was exhausted. Yeah. Mentally really strained. So this was our last time we were gonna try. I would’ve been 42.
I did a bit of the ovulation. A lot of people have their own way of trying to conceive. I did all I didn’t take like really expensive vitamins. I took trying to conceive from seven Cs which worked for me all the previous times.
Jamie: Uhhuh
Orla: With a Evelyn, I completely went off tea even before I tried to conceive. I found out I had a high deficiency with vitamin D, which can cause baby loss unfortunately as well. I corrected that and started taking high strength vitamin D all through the pregnancy with Alin.
So the pregnancy with Lin I’m trying to remember when we did the test, it was just before my 41st birthday. I felt really sick when I ate. I’ll never forget it, I was in town with Lachlan and we were in the playground and I was like, I’m gonna be sick. I’m gonna be sick. It was very severe nausea. And then when I got home, I vomited into the sink thought, woo. I had been nauseous on Lachlan, but never vomited.
I told Stewart, do you know what I do? I’m gonna go and get a test. I was due my period a couple of days on say, so this was Thursday. I was due my period, I think the next day actually on the Friday
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: I’m due on tomorrow, but wait and see if the period comes. We did the test. We did it on that Thursday night around half 10 or something like that. We had an early digital one and they showed up before and it said pregnant and we’re like. Just looked at him and he looked at me and we burst into tears. But then because of everything that we’d been through, we were like, no, I have to do another one. I couldn’t do another one straight away. I had to wait until the morning. So then we did one the morning and then it was pregnant again and I was, couldn’t believe it.
Yeah,
Jamie: take your time.
Orla: Yeah, I just couldn’t.
That day, or on the Friday, I rang Tommy straight away and I said that I’ve just got a pregnancy positive test.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I started the progesterone. I was absolutely terrified because I had taken Theone and had miscarried Kalen. So I was like, really on edge going, God, I have to go through this again. Yeah. It’s just the doubt and the worry. I took on everything I had learned through the worst girl gang ever about trying to like breathe and stay calm.
There’s a woman in the States called she’s the woman that created Pregnancy after loss, I think, is it Lindsay Heay or something like that. She does these affirmations and I downloaded her app straight away. She’s got all these affirmations saying that every pregnancy is different. Because it’s a different egg and a different sperm.
I just banged that into my head and I said. This is gonna be okay. This is gonna be okay. She’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be okay. I just kept on doing affirmations every day. Because they told me that I wouldn’t have my scan until the 26th of June. And I was like,
Jamie: oh, it’s so long.
Orla: I just can’t do this again. That’s three days after my birthday. I was just panicking.
Of course Stewart being so optimistic, positive, he’s just my he just uplifts me and he’s. Or is gonna be okay, we’re gonna have our baby. He says, we’re gonna have our rainbow baby. And he’s not spiritual at all, but he just believed it, his heart. We’re going go to the scan this time and there’s gonna be a heartbeat.
I continued to take progesterone that made me feel sick, but I still took it. And I took the pessaries you can take it orally, can’t you? But I took the pessaries and went to the scan on the 26th, my first scan with Tommy’s, and I was absolutely terrified. For me, the room of the, what you call it, the scanning room is triggering, the hospital is triggering. Someone suggested that I write it down on a piece of paper, my story, like basically that I’d had four losses and that I was triggered by a scanning room and that, so I didn’t have to talk to them. I just handed them this piece of paper and it helped.
And I said I need to hear it straight away just to, to put me at ease. And lo and behold, on the 26th of June, there, she was a strong heartbeat on her little.
Jamie: How beautiful.
Orla: Evelyn means a gift where wished for or longed for a child. That’s what her name means. It’s Irish. When we got pregnant with our twins, we picked that name, but then when we found out they were twins we picked other names. I was actually far further along than I thought I was so
Jamie: uhhuh
Orla: I went in there thinking I was about seven weeks pregnant, and they said, no, you’re eight weeks in one day or something like that. I was like, oh. God.
Jamie: That’s great.
Orla: So it was further along.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: Then they told me that she was due on the 7th of February and my mom’s dad, my granddad his birthday is the 7th of February. He’s up in spirit. Oh. So it was like a gift really that they sent us. Like you, he sent me,
Jamie: yeah.
Orla: Evelyn is what, how I felt spiritually. So yeah, so she was due on the 7th of February. And we just couldn’t believe it. So the next scan was at 10 and a half weeks. I was taking the progesterone, I was doing the affirmations and my meditation and mindfulness and everything. I was trying to be so positive, but I was on tender hooks. ’cause that gap between the. It’s only what, two and a half to three weeks gap of waiting for another scan.
Two and a half weeks, I think it was, but it’s still nerve wracking. I was just like, I’m never gonna be able to do this. And then I was like we have to book another scan just for my anxiety, because my anxiety was getting worse. And Stuart, it was like, no, we’ll just wait. You’ll be okay.
Just keep doing everything that they suggested. I kept doing everything that they suggested, but little did he know I am into my psychic mediums. I followed someone on Instagram that had a similar journey to me, had multiple losses, and then had a rainbow baby. And she had a woman on Facebook that is readings by Nick. She’s a psychic medium,
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: And she told her that she was gonna have a girl. And she did have a girl, so I was like, uming. And on one evening going try not to look at, she does all these offers about, readings and stuff like that. And she did a pregnancy and fertility reading. I got her pregnancy reading. She told me everything exact. She told me I was going to have a girl and I had a girl. She told me that I wasn’t gonna have an easy pregnancy, that I was gonna have constantly in and outta hospital and stuff. I had that she said about , my, I wasn’t gonna have much cravings as such. Everything that she told me came through.
Jamie: Whoa.
Orla: I couldn’t believe it because I was at another event about the story I previously told you that I was part of, I was at the book launch, and I went to a psychic there and she told me I was going to have a girl, but I had miscarried. So that was in December. And then I miscarried a baby, the following January. So I was just like, whatever.
Jamie: Incredible.
Orla: I didn’t believe her. I was like, whatever. But then when this one said it, I was like, still not believing her, but then secretly buying the little dresses.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I wouldn’t have minded if it was a BA boy, sure. Or girl, as long as they’re a healthy baby.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I’m blessed to have one of each living, but, I wouldn’t have minded another boy. ‘Cause we were like, oh, we’ll get to use Lachlan’s clothes again. Yeah. Mean if we had another boy anyway.
Yeah. But yeah, I couldn’t believe it that she was right. I was just like, oh man,
Jamie: wow.
Orla: This is just too weird. Anyway, going back to the scan of 10 and a half weeks, I was a bag of bloody nerves. I was like, oh my God. So this scan was with actually my consultant, professor Quimbee. The previous one was with a colleague of hers a junior kind of colleague.
But this scan was with her and she just couldn’t believe it. She absolutely couldn’t believe it that we were expecting she was over the moon and, I was like terrified. She knew my anxiety and stuff like that. And I said, I need to see the heartbeat straight away. Before you say anything to me that’s one of the things that I had to do all through this pregnancy. So yeah, there she was a strong, healthy heartbeat, our little labeling.
Jamie: I get that too, because in between scans I’m like,
Orla: yeah,
Jamie: there’s so much doubt in your head, but then that scan gives so much relief hearing the heartbeat. Yeah, I totally get that.
Orla: So my next scan was in four months, about 16 weeks I was taking, I was due to take the progesterone until the 16 week scan. So that was, so I had to wait and I was like a further long wait. I was like, I’m not able for they
Jamie: six week gap. That’s huge.
Orla: I know. I was like, how am I gonna cope? Yeah. But she just said, continue to take the poone, do what you’re doing and everything, will be fine. Then Stewart always said to me that everything was going to be fine. He constantly said it, even though I was terrified because we had heard that our twins had no heartbeat at 10 and a half weeks. When I went into that scanning room, that’s what I expected to hear of this baby. And he was like, no. The baby’s gonna be there.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: And by this stage, we didn’t know it was obviously a girl yet because it was too soon. We found out with Lachlan that we were having a boy. So I’m Irish, so our family tradition is not to find out your first baby and just have a surprise when you deliver them.
But the cutest little thing is they say that children are very intuitive. And our Lachlan was like, I’m having a little sister to everybody.
Jamie: Wow. Before you ever found out.
Orla: We told him after the 10 and a half week scan he was gonna be a big brother, but it’s a secret, you can’t tell anyone. Sh- I know people say, oh, wait until the 12 week scan, but that doesn’t apply to me.
Jamie: Physically, how did you feel throughout your pregnancy?
Orla: Exhausted. I had endometriosis, and now I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and now I know why I have severe fatigue. Then the progesterone made me even more tired. So physically I was still able to do my dog walks with Molly about 33 weeks.
This pregnancy, although I’m slightly older physically it wasn’t as bad. I was still high risk of delivering early.
We ended up having a gender reveal on Rainbow Baby Day, which was August last year, wasn’t it? Yeah, we announced that we were expecting a rainbow baby.
Jamie: What’d you do?
Orla: Oh, we went to one of our favorite walks. It’s called Compton Verney. You’ll see it on my Instagram. It’s a beautiful kind of manor house like country walk woods and everything. And we announced the pregnancy then, and then, sorry I’ve gone confused. We announced a pregnancy on Rainbow Baby Day, but the gender, then we did our gender reveal after that. We went to a place called Attenborough Nature Reserve, which we both lived beside. When we first met Lock Stewart moved in.
It was quite funny because we went for the scan and Lachlan kept saying, it’s a baby sister. It’s a baby sister. He was so convinced and although I had been told by a psychic, it was a baby sister, I just was trying to put that off.
Jamie: Yeah,
Orla: In my heart and spiritually I felt like it was a girl and she knew it was a girl as well. So it was really strange. And Lachlan was dead convinced it was a girl. So then when we had the private scan in place that they give you the cannons and things like that we released the cannons in the nature reserve up in the air. We released a Cannon and like it came out, spread it out in pink and Lachlan just looked at us going, I told you it was a girl, he already know. He’s quite funny. Bless him. He was two and a half. Yeah, he was looking at us going, I knew it was a girl. Do you know?
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: You shoulda listened to me. Yeah.
Jamie: So what were you thinking whenever you saw the pink candy?
Orla: There’s a video on Instagram of me screaming. Oh, absolutely screaming. It’s joy. Obviously I wouldn’t have minded another boy. Yeah. He, but they’re like, they’re the best buddies, even though a Evelyn is only 11 months and he’s just turned four. The bond between them is just amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Jamie: I love that. And what about products? Is there anything that you can recommend that helped with pregnancy?
Orla: Oh yeah. Going back to the pelvic girdle pain, I got a bit with Lin, but not as severe with Lachlan. It’s magnesium that you put over your bum and then it helps you sleep. You have that restless leg towards the end of your pregnancy.
Oh my god, I got really bad. And then you have to sleep at certain side of the pregnancy as well. I slept on that side when I found out I was pregnant because I was so terrified. Of losing AV Evelyn. I got the big cushion and out straight away and things like that.
Stuart hates that big pregnancy cushion. He was delighted when he had to get rid of it.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I have to say we’re heavy we’re not heavy metal fans, but we’re metal fans and rock fans. In my third trimester we went to Evanescence and within Temptation. Those two fans?
Jamie: Yeah. So this pregnancy was even better than the one with your first.
Orla: I think so, yeah, obviously mentally it was similar. There was similar anxiety levels. They thought I was, I thought my waters had broke. So I would’ve been, now, let me think. I would’ve been about 20 something weeks. I was at risk of still delivering early. So they thought my waters might have broken, but luckily they didn’t. So I was really relieved with that.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: With Locklin I had lots of episodes of reduced movements. So I had to have a lot of C-C-G-C-T-G monitoring. And then towards the end of my pregnancy, Lin, I had to have them up until I had her via C-section I had to have her CTG monitored. And also before I have to say I was at risk of prolapse with her, so they admitted me a week before I had her
Jamie: Uhhuh,
Orla: Because it was too dangerous to send me home because she was the way she was lying, she was transverse. So I was at risk of prolapse. Is it?
Jamie: Huh.
Orla: So because we’re near the hospital, but we’re we’re near the hospital, but it would’ve been too dangerous to leave me at home.
And so they admitted me and I was there for a week before I had my C-section with her
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: And she didn’t turn at all because I remember the consultant saying to me going, oh, would you just have her naturally, will you just have her naturally? And I was like i’m transverse anyway, so I can’t have her naturally.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But also I have a c-section booked. They tried to, they were like, you do realize this surgery, this is going to, I’ve had three surgeries for my endometriosis, and then I’ve had my son, that’s fourth surgery. This is your fifth surgery. They were trying their best to try and change my mind.
And I was like, no I’m having a plan C-section. And then the whole I had her at th 37 weeks and one day. Her birthday was supposed to be 31st of January, but because of the transverse and the risk of prolapse, I was admitted and I had her on the 18th of January.
Jamie: Oh, wow. Yeah. And just so everybody knows, being transverse means if you were standing up, she’s horizontal.
Orla: Yeah. Yeah, she’s lying across me.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I was absolutely in severe pain because she’s just lying like right across me.
Jamie: Wow. You’re like, let’s get this out, right?
Orla: Yeah.
Yeah. But I remember going in for my last scan with Tommy’s and ’cause though, I was having growth scans with her Uhhuh and they actually told me that they said, you can’t go home. And I was like, what do you mean I can’t go home? They were like, your baby’s transverse. And I was like, ah, she’s been transverse before.
No she’s like directly across. Yeah, it is too dangerous. They said, because if you went into labor there’s, it’s an emergency situation. They said, you’re not, although you could get an ambulance, it probably wouldn’t come too, quick enough. So they were like, you’re at risk of delivering our home.
I didn’t want to stay in hospital. Hospitals triggered me and I was like, terrified. I was like, Stuart, I’m not staying here. I don’t wanna stay here. And he is you’re gonna have to like, stay. And then it was like leaving my little boy Lachlan. I was like, I don’t wanna leave him.
It’s the longest I’ll ever leave him. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I had to leave seven days. I was in hospital. And then the, on the eighth day I had my C-section. Yeah. That was, oh man. And thing is I had to have the injections that give you like the steroids,
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: ’cause I was having her early, they gave me the steroids
Jamie: to help with her lungs.
Orla: Yeah. Be, to help with my breath, her breathing. Because she was gonna be an air baby, there was a risk of her going into nicu. So I had the steroids, even though they’ve told me there could be side effects in or complications in later life
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: But for me my anxiety was getting worse. She started reducing her movements that night, the night before I had her, she was reducing her movements further. And I was c CTG monitored up until I went down for the delivery. So it was really nerve wracking.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: And I remember there was a lovely midwife there and I was in bits like, and I was like, oh my God. I was just like terrified that she wasn’t gonna make it.
Jamie: Yeah. Did they ever discuss getting her earlier than your scheduled? Because the lack of the movement.
Orla: That’s why I had that talk with the consultant about having her 37 weeks. I was meant to have her 39 weeks in one day. That’s what the c-section was scheduled for 39 weeks in one day. Okay. But I had her two weeks early.
Jamie: Okay. So let talk us through that moment, like when you’re wheeled into theater. I love calling it theater. We don’t call it theater here, but I think it’s much better.
Orla: I had a spinal and epidural
Jamie: uhhuh.
Orla: And the, they do it differently in the hospital, so that’s why I had a spinal and epidural. They told me it’s because I was six foot tall and that it would not cover me with my back. I was a bag of nerves.
They knew how anxious I was. I kept telling them I was anxious and they knew how anxious they could see how anxious I was, because I was convinced. I was like, he, although Stewart was like more or less, she’s gonna be grand. She, she’ll he’s not Irish, but he just says grand. She’ll she’ll be fine. She’ll come out screaming and that, and I was like no, there’s gonna be a problem. I can see it. I dunno. I was just hopeful of fear, that, that she wouldn’t come out breathing. And she came out absolutely yelling it, screaming, absolutely screaming.
Jamie: What were your thoughts when you heard all those screams?
Orla: Oh man, I couldn’t believe it. I just, I burst into tears. We both did. I just couldn’t believe, do you know what I mean?
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: That she was finally here. I just, I still can’t believe she’s finally here and she hasn’t stopped screaming.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I lost a little bit of blood actually during surgery, so I had to have a transfusion. And they do the thing, they probably do it in the States, I would imagine that they wash your blood and give it back to you.
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: So I lost over a liter of blood, so I had to, yeah. So I had to have that washed and put back into me.
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: That’s the only complication that I actually went through.
Jamie: That’s amazing.
Orla: My, my c yeah, my c-section was really good. They took a look for my endometriosis and they said they didn’t see much of it, which I’m relieved by. Yeah. ‘Cause I was convinced that they had returned during pregnancy anyway before that. So no, they took a look at that which was really good of.
Jamie: And did she have to go to the nicu?
Orla: No, she didn’t have to go to the NICU at all.
Jamie: Oh.
Orla: Couldn’t believe it.
Jamie: What a relief. Back in recovery, how did things go after that?
Orla: So the recovery I was, they were transfused in my blood. And then they put her on my breast for some skin to skin. And then she tried to latch. Breastfeeding is a difficult one for me because with my son, Lachlan I managed to give him corum.
And then because I had Lin early, I didn’t prepare, ’cause some people preserve the colostrum, don’t they? And I didn’t have that, I suppose I didn’t have the time and my milk, took a while to come in. And they, the nurse kept, or the, yeah, the nurse kept on putting, or the midwife kept on putting lin on my breast. We had made a decision that if I couldn’t breastfeed Lin, we were gonna go formula, which we had done with Lachlan because I struggled mentally with Lachlan to breastfeed.
It really affected my mental health because I was absolutely heartbroken and gutted I couldn’t breastfeed them. Yeah. That’s what I wanted to do. I had got the pump when I had bought all the tops and the dresses and the breastfeeding clothes, the pads, the, the, a really good pump and everything like that.
And he just wouldn’t latch. And I know he can go to latch consultants and part of me. Yeah, I might have, I should have probably went down that route. But mentally I just wasn’t able to, so we gave her the bottle and she took the bottle straight away.
Jamie: Oh, good.
Orla: I was absolutely heartbroken that I couldn’t but mentally for the sake of my health. Am I having a young child with Lachlan and everything and a newborn baby?
I just mentally couldn’t go down that, that route because like I was asked, no, I was prescribed antidepressants with lachlan’s pregnancy. ’cause it mentally drained me that much. And being diagnosed with postnatal depression,
Jamie: Uhhuh
Orla: but I couldn’t take them. They didn’t agree with me. And being in recovery, I’m very reluctant to take medication unless I really need it.
I’ve been on morphine with my endometriosis, I’ve had to go on morphine patches.
Jamie: Whoa.
Orla: But because I’m in recovery, I’m very like I’m really reluctant to take. High level painkillers. Like even now being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I’m gonna go down the alternative route instead of going back on medication.
I have nothing against people on medication, but it’s just because I’m in recovery. I’m very mindful. I don’t want anything that’s going to mood mind, mood altering substances.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I don’t want them in my body.
Jamie: Yeah, I don’t blame you.
Orla: I had to be referred to the mental health visitor with Evelyn’s pregnancy, and I still was having my baby loss counseling. A little bit of it as well to help me along because I struggled. We didn’t really struggle with the bond as such, but that anxiety, that fear, like going out with her, oh, she’s absolutely terrified something was gonna happen.
Or my counselor, Amy, actually gave me a end of a nanny monitor, which is the breathing monitors that you put under the cot. And that was just fantastic because although she was in the same room as us and she was in the next to me, right beside our bed, I was just terrified that I kept staring at her constantly. It put my mind at ease that I had also a video monitor and a breath, the monitor because that anxiety, that fear is just too much,
Jamie: yeah, I get that. I can see us really going that route too.
Orla: Yeah.
Jamie: And physically, how was your recovery?
Orla: So compared to two of them I bled. I actually had a postpartum hemorrhage with Lachlan. Thankfully I didn’t this time with Able Evelyn, even though I had C-sections, and I think it might have been I had the, have you heard of a pick a dressing
Uhuh?
It’s I’m telling you different things now. It’s like a electronic dressing they put on you. Okay. For they put it on your wound and it helps heal. It. There’s about seven days you leave it on the wound and then you get the nurse or the midwife comes out and she removes it for you.
So that helped me heal. My wound wouldn’t have been probably, as healed if I didn’t have that because I struggled with my wound healing with Lachlan’s pregnancy after the C-section. And then, like I said, I had a postpartum hemorrhage.
I love going out. I love the outdoors and stuff. And I’m like, ah, we didn’t do too bad. I think it was six or seven days when I was out first with AV Evelyn. There was so she was a little bit more to recover because of losing blood. I had to be on Clexane so anticoagulant not anticoag. Yeah. The injections,
Jamie: yeah.
Orla: Clexane. And I had to be on iron tablets as well. ’cause my bloods were down a little bit from losing blood uhhuh.
Jamie: So
Orla: I suppose I had more recovery with a Evelyn, I think. Really? Yeah. When I say ’cause of losing blood really affected me.
Jamie: And mentally, how are you today?
Orla: Me now?
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I’m okay. I’m grand. I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia last month. I had a feeling I had it because my friends with endometriosis had si similar symptoms as me and I I was wondering whether I had it or not.
And it’s one of these things that you can’t really be diagnosed with as such. You just have to have blood tests and whether they’re elevated and things like that. All my symptoms pointed to it, but then they were symptoms of I could have had with Endo. But it turns out I’ve got fibromyalgia.
My, my joints are really, I get really cold. I’m freezing. Like I get really cold to the point that my legs go numb when I’m walking and things like that. And also I struggle with washing my hair. When you’re like reaching up to wash your hair, your joints, your arms, and things like that really hurt. So there are signs of it and I get really bad fatigue as I mentioned earlier, and I’ve been getting that for a while. So yeah, so it’s been a while to it’s taken a while to adjust to it, but I had a feeling I had it for a good few, years or months really.
Jamie: Yeah. Is there anything else you wanna mention about your pregnancy or birth?
Orla: I will say is anyone that is struggling to conceive that, I think for me it was like I had to when I took that space and that break, I know when people are worried like, about time and I was worried about time. I don’t have much time and things like that. But that break that we took did us the world of good. To be able to get your head around what you’ve just been through and what you could potentially go through again, but then you mightn’t go through, if that makes sense.
I mentioned about Lindsay Heke or something heke the girl that deals with pregnancy after loss, she’s written these affirmations. She’s got an app actually that I downloaded. And it just made me believe basically that anything is possible. That pregnancy that they’re all different. I’ve had five pregnancies.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: Only two of them went to term, but they’re all different. Five little journeys I suppose, really. And they were all similar, but different in many ways.
Jamie: So your husband Stewart had a vasectomy. Could you share a little bit how y’all came to that conclusion to do that?
Orla: I’m one of three and I’ve always wanted three, but to be blessed with two live children is just absolute miracle, really. But how do we get, how do we decide about the vasectomy? I think we yeah we were talking about this the other day and we were saying, had we been a couple say even if I was 40 or 41 or something, we would’ve tried again for another baby. But because we’ve gone through multiple losses and been through Tommy’s recurrent miscarriage clinic and everything like that. It’s just it really exhausted us mentally and emotionally really. Yeah. And it put a bit of strain on our relationship. I hate to admit that.
Jamie: Uhhuh?
Orla: I will say is I hate people saying that my family is now complete because my family is never complete. Do you know what I mean? It’ll never ever be complete because there’s four little people missing from it. Really?
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: They’re in my heart. some people would see me as a mother of two, but I’d say, no, I’m a mom of six ’cause I’ve got four little angels up in the sky and I’ve got my two here on Earth side.
Jamie: Yeah. That’s beautiful. Tell us about your memorials.
Orla: I have a big love of fairies and I’ve always wanted to do a fairy garden and this Christmas I’d done a ferry garden out in our front yard, our front garden, a little ferry village, and I’ve got a stocking for each of my little angels.
Jamie: That’s beautiful. I love that.
Orla: I want to get some little signs to say to give it a name and stuff.
Jamie: What has been your biggest challenge being pregnant at 41?
Orla: I think it’s sometimes been people really, because some people would be like, oh my God, I can’t believe you know, that you’re going again and the age. It shouldn’t matter. People like would have commented about my age before, oh, you’re too old. I’m like, no, I’m not too old.
Jamie: Nope.
Orla: Especially if it happens. If you’re meant to be a mom at over 40 or whatever age. If you’re meant to be a mom at whatever age, whether it’s 25 or 45, so be it.
Jamie: Is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth over 40?
Orla: I definitely wouldn’t listen to what people say because not everyone meets their husband or partner like at 20 or 30.
Jamie: Yeah.
Orla: I dated the wrong men. And I I used to care what people think, but then writing the story that I talked about earlier to you that after writing that I don’t give a what people think. I just need to be myself, because that’s what she always said to me. He’s Orla to care, regardless. If people don’t wanna be in your life for whatever reason, then just let them go.
Jamie: Yep.
Orla: If they want to judge you, that’s their problem, not yours. So yeah, I don’t know if there’s anything else that would have helped me.
Jamie: And what would you say to those women who are trying to conceive over 40? What advice would you have for them?
Orla: For me, I would say don’t give up. Keep at it. I was determined that I didn’t want to give up. Even though this was our last try, I probably would’ve went again, even though she were probably didn’t know that.
Jamie: And what advice would you give yourself when you were pregnant? If you could go back?
Orla: Probably not to worry ’cause I was constantly worrying. And not to be so anxious,
Jamie: yeah.
Orla: And fear as well. Not to be so afraid as well.
Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. I had a conversation with my husband just yesterday. I said, do you really believe we’re gonna give birth in July? And he said, yes, of course. And I was like oh, because I am having a hard time believing it, so I totally get it.
Orla: Will I tell you something? I had a, the way I like that psychic readings by Nick
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Orla: I go to medium events as well, like suppers and stuff like that. And someone said to me about a baby that there’s gonna be a conversation around pregnancy and baby and everything. So I believe it’s you.
Jamie: I love that. Yeah, tell us about this book you are in, about your story. If anybody wants to find more about your story, tell us about it.
Orla: So it’s a project that Serena Novelli lovely woman and Anna Bonser and Laura Brand, they created the Love Thy Bro Project, but it was the really, the founder really was Serena love Novelli.
And she created this project to basically that women how do I say, women in empower other women. Do you know what I mean? It’s a group that’s on Facebook. It’s about empowerment women, empowering other women. And it’s about loving your body basically no matter what size or anything that you are. And loving yourself within. And it’s about loving yourself, mind, body, and spirit really. And the book came about.
There’s three books. So there’s number one, two, and three, and I’m in third book. And it’s about women’s stories, about how they, it’s about their journey of self-love and about what they go through in life to, to fulfill that journey of self-love.
My story is covers about growing up about becoming a, an alcoholic and getting into recovery from alcohol. Also covers about going through domestic abuse relationship in my early twenties. And coming through that I also briefly talk about meeting my husband Stewart and going through the baby Lost journey.
It was done in 2020, so my Rainbow Baby isn’t in there, but Lock Locklin is in there. And then my journey about becoming sober and it has been on Amazon and it it was number one bestseller in the hardback as well as the Kindle version.
Jamie: Did you say what the name of the book is?
Orla: Oh, sorry. Love Thy Brodi Project.
Jamie: Where can our listeners connect with you on the internet?
Orla: I’m on Instagram at Irish mammy underscore her littles on Instagram.
Jamie: Perfect. I’ll make sure and leave a link to the book in the Yeah. Show notes for sure.
Orla: Yeah.
Jamie: Orla, congratulations on your sobriety and your children. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it was beautiful.
Orla: Oh, thanks.