On episode 84, Erica is a 42 year old mom in Akron, Ohio with two boys, one ten years old and the other is seven weeks old . She is a coordinator at a high school and also has a side business where she teaches teen girls about self-empowerment and self-esteem building. Erica’s journey to motherhood started when she was 33 years old. Her first son’s father only had one testicle and told her he was sterile because he had testicular cancer a year before they met. She immediately knew their relationship wasn’t going anywhere because she definitely wanted kids and marriage. Ironically, she got pregnant the first time they slept together. His doctors told him Erica was going to lose her baby because he still had toxins in his body from the chemo. The doctors said she won’t carry to full term. Her son is healthy and turned ten on the solar eclipse on April 10th.
She continued to date throughout the years, worked and in the back of her mind knew she was always open to more kids. She met a blast from the past at 41. They went out and had a great time. Then they had a couple more dates and then one particular date, they slept together. She took the morning after pill and took it less than 24 hours after. She thought it worked because she bleed two weeks later. Her son’s father said he was super tired. Erica asked him if he was working too hard. He said, “no, like pregnancy tired,” and suggested she should take a test. Erica insisted she had her period and she wasn’t pregnant. As she waited for her second cycle afterwards to start, he suggested again she was pregnant. She finally agreed and it was negative. Her second cycle never came, though. Even thought she didn’t feel any pregnancy symptoms, she took another test. She just assumed her cycle was messed up because of the pill, and she’s skipped before. She was so sure she wasn’t pregnant but had an extra test. She took it again and this time it was positive. She was in so much disbelief, she still has that pregnancy test.
I just started embracing the word geriatric. Oh I’m just in my geriatric pregnancy!
The process of getting pregnant and going to the doctor, all the blood work. She remembers distinctively the doctor telling her at one particular encounter, for your age, you’re healthier than some of the moms in their 20’s. Erica thought that was good news—still in a state of shock. Erica was sick and tired the first trimester. She didn’t know at the time, but her iron was really low, so she didn’t really have much of an appetite. She lost seven to eight pounds that first trimester because she didn’t eat much. It got to the point where the doctors had prescribed her something for nausea. It helped, but she still didn’t have much of an appetite. Once she got into the second trimester, it was a breeze. She didn’t have any problems whatsoever because of her age. They like to keep an eye open for preeclampsia. Then she embraced the word geriatric. Labs are good. The blood work was good, she was good, She didn’t have any issues whatsoever. She never developed preeclampsia and never got swollen. She was eight months pregnant in her maternity photos and all belly. She wasn’t concerned about abnormalities from the pill, but more so because of her age. She was told the pill just stops ovulation, but she found out later that she had double ovulated. Erica was in such denial and shock about her baby that she didn’t want to prepare. The only thing she did to prepare was to visit several different hospitals to see where she wanted to give birth. She didn’t start to embrace it until she was eight months along. Before that, she just dealt with it.
Doctors put the fear inside of you, and that’s the reason she chose to have a midwife instead of an OB. Erica didn’t use the doctor from her first pregnancy. It wasn’t until her second child at 42, that she didn’t want a doctor, but a midwife instead. Erica found out the gender during pregnancy. She needs to know everything, so she can plan. Since she already had a son, she really wanted a girl and there is a high probability she won’t be doing this again because of her age. There is a DNA test that you can order if you Google it. They send you a kit, you prick your arm and send the bloodwork. They can tell you the gender as early as six weeks. She found out at eight weeks she was having a boy, she was bummed for a little bit but wanted to get over it so she can bond with her baby. Erica’s oldest son was thrilled he’s having a brother.
Erica didn’t take any classes for baby number two. She was a rebel in terms of, she was in such denial and shock about this pregnancy that she really didn’t want to do anything. She really didn’t start embracing this pregnancy until the eighth month. She just dealt with it. When she had her first son, she had a water birth and wanted that same experience with Easton, so it was important for her to tour hospitals that had the bathtubs in the room and check out their facilities. And, it was disappointing. A lot of hospitals didn’t have them. There was only two that did have them, but they were older tubs. Then she found a hospital that had one that was state-of-the-art.
At 42, Erica went into labor at 40 weeks, one day. It was important to her to not be induced and go against nature. The first sign of labor with her first pregnancy was her mucus plug fell out, so she was looking for the same sign with this one. The day before she went into labor, she started spotting. She wasn’t sure if the spotting was normal, but Google ensured her it was. At 4:51 AM she had her first contraction. The next one didn’t come until thirty minutes later. At 7:00 AM they were every twenty minutes and talking and laughing through them. Erica’s mom took her to the hospital when the contractions were every eight minutes. She calls them ‘easy’ contractions. Once the midwife broke her water, she was in active labor and they were strong. She apologized to the nurses and midwives in advanced for being extremely mean to everyone. Everything annoyed her now that she was in active labor. The contractions continued to be intense. She was asked if she wanted to get into the birthing tub and she agreed. The sound of running water was making her mad. She made them turn the water off even though there was water only covered her ankles. The contractions are now coming every minute. She gets in the tub and someone turns the water back on to fill the tub. She wanted out of the tub, she didn’t want to be wet. She got out of the bathtub and sat on the edge of the bed while they added a birthing bar to the top of the bed. They also gave her a comb to squeeze to help with the pain of the contractions. She remembers staring at the clock and wondering how much longer even though it had only been an hour and a half. Erica wanted to know when she could push. The midwife told her she was going to tell her when to push. Erica didn’t understand. Out of nowhere, Erica felt like she needed to stand up, held on to the bar and bared now with a roar. She was crowning. The midwife was underneath her yelling her baby is coming. She thought she was going to have a bowel movement. She pushed three more times and her son was born standing up. He had a big head and had to have six stitches.
After the midwife caught the baby and him to Erica, she sat down and waited about five minutes to cut the cord. It was important to her to wait until the cord was done coagulating or turned white. She could watch the blood go back into the baby. Then she waited for one more contraction to birth the placenta. She asked to see the placenta which she describes as the tree of life. She thought it was so beautiful. She made a tincture with the placenta which can help with teething and energy for her. She considered having it encapsulated, but decided against it in the end.
Erica’s recovery was great. She believes it’s an easier recovery without the epidural. She used iced pads and the squirt bottle with warm water. Erica is back to pre-pregnancy weight after only seven weeks. She breastfed and the weight came off. Both of her son latched easy, but breastfeeding in general isn’t easy. With her second baby, she breastfeeds and he gets formula. She hasn’t pumped yet because she hates doing it. She is taking breastfeeding one day at a time because she wanted to quit everyday with her first. She is going to let her body ween off from breastfeeding. She breastfed her first until 13 months because she dried up and plans to do it the same way with her second. Mentally, she has been good. She feels lucky and allows herself to feel what she feels in the moment. She knows her hormones are regulating and this too shall pass. Because she believes this is her last baby, she is very intentional with everything she’s doing and experiencing.
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Resources:
Over 40 Fabulous and Pregnant on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/over40fabulousandpregnant/
Erica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamenichole/
Erica’s website: enichole.com
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