On episode 94, we have Rosanne Austin on to share her spontaneous pregnancy at 44. She is the creator of the Fearlessly Fertile Method and host of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. She helps women get and stay pregnant by leveraging the mind-body connection. She started her career as a prosecutor in California when she and her husband wanted to start a family. She was prosecuting sex crimes into her late 30’s. Her plans for getting pregnant on her timeline weren’t working. She didn’t even want to bother working with her OBGYN and wanted to go straight to a fertility clinic. Her OBGYN had previously told her she was close to 40, so it would be hard for her to get pregnant. She took that advise to heart. When she went to the fertility clinic the pressure got worse. Join us how she shares her IVF experience to changing her mindset to her fearless pregnancy.
If this is your first time here, I’m Jamie Massey and the host of the podcast. It took us 3 years, 5 pregnancies, failed IVF, and a failed embryo transfer to have our first baby using donor eggs at 43 years old. You can go here to learn more about my story.
Resources:
Connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/over40fabulousandpregnant/
Rosanne on IG: https://www.instagram.com/rosanneaustinfertility/
Rosanne: https://frommaybetobaby.com/
Love Medicine and Miracles by Dr. Bernie Siegel Book: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Medicine-Miracles-Self-Healing-Exceptional/dp/0060919833/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UINWP8WBQJAS&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aPBMDnycTKNFaKX6CC0sZzG6QsAXj92xnG5auao20tBMT-GXCFWv18vSCE5rnjpc-Rjxu1JdD6cuvMctcxNSr6BkoqYGRRQ-aXVNZzmLlo4.CJqZPRo8OSlQ4dDahvcoJsFNV886NIfGP3yEImO0oFY&dib_tag=se&keywords=Love+Medicine+and+Miracles+by+Dr.+Bernie+Siegel%2C&qid=1758576581&sprefix=love+medicine+and+miracles+by+dr.+bernie+siegel%2C+%2Caps%2C440&sr=8-1
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Episode 94 Transcript:
Jamie: Roseanne, welcome to the show.
Rosanne: Thanks for having me, Jamie.
Jamie: Yay. I’m so excited to have you on. We’ve already had a full podcast before we even started recording, and Roseanne is here to share her story at 44. But before we get started, if nobody knows who you are, please tell us a little bit about yourself.
Rosanne: My name is Roseanne Austin. I’m a creator of the Fearlessly Fertile Method. So today I am helping women all over the world who are struggling to get and stay pregnant by helping them leverage the power of the body connection. Now, you may ask yourself, well, how does somebody get there? Well. The other part of my story is I was a prosecutor in California and I was prosecuting sex crimes for a very long time.
And it was during that time that my husband and I decided that we wanted to have a family. And back in the day, Jamie, I was a lovably type, a control freaky professional trial attorney. An assassin in the courtroom, if you will. That it was the reputation that I had earned. ’cause I loved being in trial and I loved advocating for victims of sexual assault, both children and adults.
And I was just going through my career just figuring, okay, we’re gonna find the right time to have a baby. And I was already in my mid to late thirties and it became very clear quickly that. Things weren’t working the way that we thought. My husband and I figured, okay, we’re gonna start trying and I’ll be pregnant by May.
I have a big trial in June, and all of you know that it would happen in this s sequential way that, you know, those of us that are ambitious and, and really career oriented, you know, we’re trying to check all the boxes. Well, the universe sent me a, a one-two punch in a really unexpected way because I was trying and it wasn’t working.
And so the, the go-getter in me said, okay, I’m not even gonna bother with my ob GYN I’m gonna go straight to a fertility clinic because oh wow. I need, you know, I had talked to my ob, GYN, she was like, you know, you’re close to 40. It’s gonna be hard. And, and, and I really took that to heart. Like I was very shocked.
I I was relatively young at the time. And I was reasonably healthy. What I thought was healthy, I was active. I, I ate reasonably clean. I didn’t feel old. That was the first time that I ever really came up against this, this alleged timeline. And I say alleged because I actually don’t believe that anymore at all.
Having helped women from ages 28 to 54 get pregnant, it, it kind of created a mind virus in my head because then I started to panic and when I went to the fertility clinic, it only got worse because it was like, how old are you? How long have you been trying, oh yeah, you do need IVF. Like, I was never encouraged at that, you know, at any point in time by any of the providers that I was seeing to like.
To look at other possible things. Like I hadn’t even had my thyroid checked. Oh my gosh, Jamie. Gosh. Like nobody was doing, you know, and this was a thousand years ago. So I would, I suspect that some things have changed, but I mean, I coach women now and, and I realize that, you know, as much as things may have changed, there are still many things that have not.
Mm-hmm. And I was working, and the thing that I wasn’t looking at was the fact that I was working sometimes 60, 80 hour weeks in trial. I was waking up in the middle of the night to go to forensic interviews for survivors of sexual assault as a prosecutor. They would wake me up in the middle of the night.
If there was a major crime that happened, I would have to show up. You know? So I wasn’t taking any of that into account, and neither were the people that were supposedly providing me with care. Everyone said, oh, yeah. You know, stress has nothing to do with it. You just need to do IVF. So I was terrified at that point.
And so without doing any, I UIs I wasn’t doing anything in the interim. No letrozole, no clit, like nothing. Mm-hmm. I just went from wanting to have a baby and having tried naturally for about six months into IVF.
Jamie: Yeah.
Rosanne: There was no in between. And it’s no surprise that that was one of the most devastating experiences I had ever had.
Jamie: Yeah. And how old were you at this time?
Rosanne: So at that time I was about 37.
Jamie: Okay.
Rosanne: You know, I, I wasn’t really that old. Mm-hmm. And, and it was shocking because I didn’t know, like I didn’t know anything. Like I, I’m very humbled Jamie at what little I knew. I mean, I knew. A little bit about the reproductive system. I mean, I was, I was a sex assault prosecutor, so I knew the parts and I knew all this stuff, and I knew generally speaking, what women knew. But I knew nothing about follicle counts. I knew nothing about tracking my cycle. I knew nothing about cervical mucus. I didn’t know anything about anything Uhhuh, and I, I felt immediately overwhelmed.
Yeah, because look, I’m a highly educated woman and I was walking into a world that I was not prepared for at all. So I was like, what is happening right now? How, you know, how, how did I get here? And then all of a sudden I was pulling out my credit card, buying $6,000 worth of medications. I was, you know, paying for the IVF and like that was back in the day.
And I don’t know if, if California even covers it. But my insurance did not cover it, which I wasn’t mad about. I was like, this is what I want. I’m not expecting anybody to pay for it but me. But it was the first time outside of law school that I had ever spent that much money Uhhuh. I was like, oh my gosh, you know, like, here’s 25,000 on this thing.
And I was like, and, and I was still under the impression that IVF was a guarantee.
Jamie: Right.
Rosanne: I figured, I figured, oh, you know, I’m, I’m doing all this medication and I’m going to this doctor and they’re gonna pull eggs outta me, and then they’re gonna transfer them on this day and boom, I’ll be pregnant.
Jamie: Yeah.
Rosanne: Well, needless to say, not only in that cycle did I come out with like a crazy fever the cycle didn’t work. I had put all of my hope. On this one cycle. And it was like I was hit in the face with a two by four. Like, it, it, I was like, this is the first time in my life, and I don’t say this with hubris, I say this with humility because I’m a hard worker.
I was like, this is the first time in my life where I gave e it my all, or at least what I thought was my all at the time. Mm-hmm. And it didn’t work. Mm-hmm. Because I was, I was used to having a, a more direct correlation between how hard I work Jamie. Yes. And the outcome, because nobody could outwork me in the courthouse.
Nobody was gonna outwork me in the courtroom. Mm-hmm. And, and it, I just had this history of success because I was willing to do the work. And this was a very devastating failure because I thought to myself, wow, this is the first time I could not outwork a challenge.
Jamie: Yeah.
Rosanne: And, and I didn’t know what to do.
So I started to scour the internet. I was like, wait a minute, minute. I’m not a quitter, I’m not a loser. You know, all of this stuff. Mm-hmm. That was in my head. And started to frantically look
Jamie: like you’re looking for
Rosanne: answers, answers, alternatives. I was up at 3:00 AM my eyes were practically bleeding from all of the research and don’t get a female attorney on the research train. Okay.
Jamie: Like it’s a rendering.
Rosanne: Yeah, no, I mean it was, it was crazy and, and I literally, over the course of several years. Gain what I think would be the equivalent of a specialty in reproductive endocrinology because I, there wasn’t anything, I wouldn’t research, there wasn’t anything I would look into. So, and the other crazy thing that was going on at the time was there was so much shame and secrecy around seeking fertility treatment that I later found out there were other women in my office, but nobody was talking about it, that we’re going and getting fertility treatment.
And what was happening is women were just disappearing from the office and never telling anyone and nor should they have to. Right? Like, I’m not suggesting that you have to spill your guts to anybody, but there was so much shame. Amongst the women, because two things. Number one, if they found out that you were trying to have a baby, people were afraid they were gonna lose their trial assignments.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Rosanne: Because then you’re not gonna get as good of the, you know, cases because everyone thinks you’re gonna go out on maternity leave, which is really crazy in the two thousands. Like, how does this even happen? But that was the culture at the time. Mm-hmm. And then the second thing was the, so it’s like the risk of losing a, a, a great position, but it was also the shame.
And like, there’s something wrong with me. Like, we’re in the courthouse, we see crack heads coming in with five kids, and we’re the ones that are like trying so hard. And I don’t mean that from like a super judgmental standpoint, it’s really just the, it’s an indicator of how much pain. I was in, I know later on that the other women were in that we ended up comparing ourselves to everyone.
Mm-hmm. So not only is it this devastating thing to your sense of accomplishment, but it was also like, man, can I even trust my body? If, if crack heads can do it and they’re on crack and I’m eating clean and seeing doctors, how is it that I’m not able to do this?
Jamie: Yeah.
Rosanne: Is there something wrong with me? Yeah. And that’s, and like I had never experienced depression before and I don’t think I was even at that time depressed. I think I was just, I had the paradigm of what I thought of myself, what I thought was possible for me, and all that I believed about the world was coming into question. You know, was I gonna be in a position where, here, you know, my husband and I, we love each other dearly.
We’re so excited to be a family. What if that doesn’t happen? Mm-hmm. And what if I can’t make it happen? Yeah.
Jamie: Because I feel like you’re someone that goes after what you want and you feel like you’re failing.
Rosanne: Yeah. Yeah. And that’s where I was. And so I. In the process of starting to look at alternatives. So, ’cause I went bonkers, I, I started driving hundreds of miles a week to go to a celebrity acupuncturist. ’cause I thought that was gonna help me get pregnant. I was doing Chinese herbs, like there was like a tiny skull and crossbones on the, on the bottle. You know, I couldn’t read it. It was in. You know what, whichever Chinese language it was, you know, and, but I was doing everything and I was even doing some insane things, Jamie.
So IWI started vaginal steaming.
Jamie: What is that?
Rosanne: What am I doing? Like, tell me, basically. Yeah. So basically my understanding of it, and I’m not professing to be an expert, but I did it enough times to, you know, to know I had gone to this like medicine woman who told me that my real problem was I didn’t have enough herbs in my vagina.
Like, I, I didn’t have, like yeah, I know. That’s insane. I, you know, it like, there was something that the herbs could cure, and so I was boiling water cleaning out my toilet. Like this is back in the day. I think they have machines that do it now, but like you clean out your toilet meticulously. You place the bowl into the toilet and then you sit on the toilet so that the steam is literally like the steam with the herbal tea in it is getting to your lady bits.
And I did that and you should have seen my husband’s face. Like it was like, what’s that? You know? And I’m like, get out. I’m doing my steaming, you know? And so I’d be sitting on this toilet with a blanket wrapped around the bottom of it so that you don’t let any of the steam out. Sure. For like 20 minutes.
Oh my God. And I, I do remember quite a few times Jamie thinking to myself, how did I get here? Like, is this really my life? You know, like I’m giving myself Lupron shots in the morning, going to court going to an autopsy, and then I come home to steam my vagina. Like, I mean, it’s this radical insanity that I found myself living in.
Now, that’s not the worst of it. I actually had gone crazy enough to have my acupuncturist tell me that the real reason I wasn’t getting pregnant was because I wasn’t drinking enough black chicken broth. And so what that meant was is I had to go to a specific poultry shop in Chinatown to get a black chicken and boil it, and I needed to be drinking that broth.
And so, just so you know, this was a black chicken that still had its head and claws on. So I had to put the whole thing in the pot. My husband would get home and my husband is now a retired police officer. So he’d come in in his uniform and look and see like a claw sticking out of this massive pot and he’d just shake his head and run away.
Like, so this was the kind of insanity that I had descended into. I was driving hundreds of miles boiling black chickens, steaming my vagina. We even put an African fertility doll, which is that doll you can see behind me. Oh, under our bed for seven years. Like it. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do, say try or, you know, look into.
We even, I had mediums doing, you know, medical intuitive readings on me, like at a distance over the phone. There was nothing I wouldn’t do. And it got to the point where I had to ask myself, what’s missing here? I know that I’m doing a lot of crazy things. But what is missing? And what I realized that the piece that was missing for me in my experience as I went through multiple rounds of IVF we, we changed doctors.
I went to a top 10 teaching hospital in the San Francisco Bay area. We were sparing no expense. Jamie, there was, if, if somebody told me it could help, I was doing it. I, I, I think I was even putting royal jelly on my skin, I don’t like, it was, was nuts. And I realized it was me. I was missing like, because the whole time I was torturing myself, I was telling myself, look at all this money you’re spending.
Like, look at you like you’re taken away from your future. You know, you’re draining your bank account. Your husband’s stressed out. Like I was putting all of this pressure on myself and I was. Hating my body. Mm-hmm. Like, look at you, you’ve not, you know, from all of the, these IVFs, you’re gaining weight.
You’re, you, your pants don’t fit. How are you gonna go into court? Like, it was just this mess. So I had been doing, you know, all the treatments, diets, lotions, potions, yoga poses. I was doing everything except taking care of the mess that was between my ears. Mm-hmm. So then I realized, I’m like, okay, I need to clean up this mess because the la we’re gonna transfer the last of my embryos.
And I need to be better. So I really buckled down and I started to change the way I thought about myself. I scoured books and seminars and everything, everything that I could learn about brain science. And people were not acknowledging back then the power of the mind body connection. It, you know, you might hear about it in cancer patients and people with other chronic diseases, but nobody was really talking about it in the context of fertility.
And I found a book called Love Medicine and Miracles by Dr. Bernie Siegel, who was a surgeon. He’s in his late eighties now, almost 90. And it was a New York times bestseller. And I was starting to read and I was like, gosh, you know, this is this, there’s something to this. Like, you know, our, our head is connected to our body with our neck.
Okay.
Jamie: Uhhuh.
Rosanne: Like, this is a closed system. It’s not, you know, and I found so much of what was happening was splitting me into parts, my uterus, my ovaries, my eggs, and, you know, my hypothalamus. Like, it was all this stuff, but never really seeing myself as a whole. So I started to change the way I thought about myself and I’m like, look, I am tormenting my body.
I’m telling her she’s fat and she’s useless and old and broken down. Like, how is she gonna do me a favor? Mm-hmm. Like, would, would your best friend keep doing you a favor? If that’s what you called her? Right? No, she’d tell you to f off. And so, you know, so I changed that story and I did it consistently in preparation for our last transfer.
And I finally got pregnant. On your last transfer. Now I, on my last transfer now, but wait, I didn’t carry that pregnancy to term, but nothing else was different, Jamie, but me, Uhhuh. So I said to myself, okay, alright. I know I didn’t just get lucky here. I know that for a fact because everything else was the same and I ended up having a miscarriage on Christmas Day.
Jamie: Ugh.
Rosanne: In emergency room number 13. You cannot make this up. Wow. And they wanted to give me a DNC and I, I don’t know why I didn’t want that, but in my, I just was like, I’m like, I don’t want that. Like, I don’t, you know, I, if this is gonna happen for some reason, Jamie, I can’t explain it. I just said, and I don’t have any judgment on it.
I just said, that’s not what I want for myself.
Jamie: Sure.
Rosanne: And, and I. Just remember closing my eyes and saying, this is not how this baby is gonna leave me. We’re gonna leave. You know, this baby is going to leave me at home. I don’t know why. Uhhuh just is. It was almost like this other voice came in and interestingly enough, the ER doc was able to reach my ob.
He happened to be on call on Christmas day. They reached out to him and he said, no, you let her pass this baby naturally. And I was like, you know, I was like, what’s going on? Like all of these synchronicities. And so, as strange as it may sound that miscarriage was a turning point. Wow. So did they give my fertility journey?
Jamie: Did they give a reason why they wanted to do a DNC?
Rosanne: No, let’s just put it this way. I think it’s because it was more expeditious than trying to figure out what to do with me. Like, am I, like, I’m not mad at them. I’m, I’m so glad that my doctor happened to be on call and like said, no, no, no, no.
You’re not gonna let you know. Let her pass this baby naturally. And I’m so glad in that moment that I had a provider that stood up for me.
Jamie: That’s, that’s great. It’s hard to find.
Rosanne: Yeah. That wasn’t rushing me into a procedure because like, like I said, look, I have got nothing against DNCs. And I think that you know, everybody needs to make their choices about that.
And there are certain risks involved, but there’s also risks with passing your pregnancy naturally.
Jamie: Sure.
Rosanne: But for me personally, in that moment, my soul was telling me that wasn’t right for me. So everything lined up and they discharged me, they gave me the medication, and I went home and had a dark night of the soul and I made it through that process.
It was probably the most pain I’ve ever been in, in my life, short of childbirth. But in that moment I just stayed in my room. It was dark. I turned on Downton Abbey, and I didn’t leave that room for like a week. And I was in such despair. But what was interesting, Jamie, that I, I really brought back from that experience is I was super grateful.
Jamie: Okay.
Rosanne: As weird as that may sound, because that pregnancy confirmed what I suspected, which was what? That your brave, the desire. Well, yes. It was not only that I could have an influence on my outcome, this was not the first, you know, like my son did not come with that pregnancy, but it was for me and affirmation that I was headed in the right direction.
Mm-hmm. So I said, yep, he may not be staying this time, but I know he’s coming. And that was pivotal because if I hadn’t had that revelation in that moment, I might have gone to a mental hospital because I was like, here I am. I’m years and years older with my last embryos, and this is what happens. I have a miscarriage uhhuh.
Right. I could’ve totally tortured myself with that, but in that moment, with all of those synchronicities happening and having changed what I believed about myself, it gave me another avenue.
Jamie: Yeah. And how old were you when the miscarriage happened?
Rosanne: I was 40. Okay. Yeah, I was 40 at that time. And I think 40, 41, like yeah, it’s all kind of a blur right now. Yeah. I get it. But it’s, but it’s like, but at that point, my husband and I made a decision we weren’t gonna do IVF anymore. Oh, wow. Was that hard for you? It was no. No, it was really like, I can’t explain it other than to say there was something in me that knew that the story wasn’t over. Now, I’m not gonna tell you I wasn’t scared out of my wits because at that point, Jamie, I was older.
I was older, and how many rounds of IVF did I have? I don’t even remember. Yeah. How many rounds it, because they all sort of blended together. Mm-hmm. And I just said to myself, this is like, this is not for me, and I’m gonna trust myself. I’m gonna trust my body. I’m gonna trust my baby. Now, did I have any reason on paper to do that?
No. But there was something in me that was coming out that I had not seen since I was a little girl, you know? And that was belief. Yeah. And I said, I don’t, I can’t explain it. I don’t know why I’m. Doing this. But I decided in that moment that it didn’t matter. That yes, I was older, yes, none of my treatments had worked, but that this was the time for me to believe bigger and I was gonna double down on me.
So I just kept studying. I studied the, you know, mindset material. There were some lifestyle changes that I made. I left my work at the DA’s office. I started teaching other women what I had learned, and the women that I was working with, they were getting pregnant, left and right. So I wasn’t even pregnant yet, but I said like, look, if I could help anybody with what I had learned, I’m gonna teach them and left and right my clients were getting pregnant. And I remember there was a point in time when I just started acting as if my son was here. I was drive, I would drive back and forth. It was like a 45 minute drive to where my husband worked in our home. I would run errands, I would do different things down there.
I was taking on consulting work for other attorneys, you know, so I would drive back and forth and I would literally have conversations with him acting as if he was in the back of the car, telling him all about the life that dad and I were gonna give him. How, what a fun and adventurous family we are and all that.
And I just started acting as if he was here. And I remember it was October, 2015. I decided that for the next year I was gonna say yes to everything. Everything, anything that I wanted to say yes to, because my husband and I had spent so much time. With our life on hold, and we just made the decision we were gonna stop putting off vacations. We were gonna stop, you know, do, we’re gonna stop denying ourselves essentially, of the things that really made us feel alive. Mm-hmm. So October, 2015, I made that decision, and by October, 2016, I was pregnant naturally.
Jamie: Wow. And I think what is important to note here is that you kept practicing and changing your mind. It didn’t just happen overnight after one time. Oh no. You had to keep going and going.
Rosanne: It’s a de, it’s not a destination, Jamie. Right. Like it is a lifestyle. And because the
subconscious mind is controlling about 95% of what we do and 60% of that 90% that we know is negative. So that means that we have an overwhelming. I guess proclivity toward negativity. So you are working against this program and I didn’t realize how many years I had spent in low key fight or flight. Mm-hmm. Because that’s what being a prosecutor is. I mean, you’re constantly, like, if I wasn’t in trial trying cases, I was having to deal with so many crazy things, the politics of it, talking to the press, doing all of these things, going and watching. I mean, the trauma from going and watching a, a survivor of sexual assault, do a forensic interview or having to be at an autopsy, nobody prepares you
Jamie: Right.
Rosanne: For seeing those things. And I had completely neglected the cumulative stress that I was under that was keeping me in. What I became acclimated to that was fight or flight.
So we know, I mean, this is not even in dispute. I don’t have to be a medical doctor to be able to say this. Anybody can go out there and find this information out. High cortisol will suppress your fertility. And we know this. There’s over 39 published peer reviewed studies to demonstrate that the mind body connection has an impact on pregnancy rates.
We know this. Mm-hmm. Yet women are not empowered with this. I remember, I remember being at that teaching hospital that I was getting treatment and being told by one of the instructors, the physician that was an instructor and an expert at reproductive endocrinology, being told that my 60 to 80 hour work weeks would have nothing to do with my ability to get pregnant. And I’m grateful for having had that experience. So it’s not like I’m saying this with bitterness. I’m, I’m saying this with gratitude because what that showed me is they don’t know everything. Mm-hmm. Because that little boy, you can’t really see him in the background. That’s my son, so he’s eight years old.
And when, when I was pregnant with him, ’cause like we found out and I was like, like I freaked out. I’m like, holy cow. I made myself a promise that, that I was gonna hold out for him. I was never gonna give up for him. You know, give up on him. I was going to have him and I was gonna believe for him. And within that year, boom, pregnant naturally.
So technically, Jamie, I was more fertile in my forties naturally than I was in my thirties with treatment.
Jamie: I love that. And tell us like what. It was like, were you just late on your cycle? So you took a test, what happened?
Rosanne: Yeah, well, I was, I was late on my cycle and you know, and I had been on thyroid medication for some time because during, obviously when you do for.
Fertility treatment. When you finally get to the right doctor, they’ll do a full panel uhhuh and you know, a full panel ladies, not just TSH, they’ll do the full panel and check you for Hashimotos and all this other stuff. And so, you know, nothing really changed. You know, I had been taking thyroid medication. I wasn’t doing anything special. My husband and I had just come home. This was part of our year of, yes. Okay. There’s Shonda Rhimes wrote an amazing book called The Year of Yes. But from October 2015 to October, 2016, we had said all these yeses and we had taken this whirlwind European vacation. We were in France, we were in Italy. We were saying yes to everything. I was wearing high heels on cobblestone. I was drinking champagne, I was eating Rach. Hes Jamie. I was doing all the things the quote unquote experts will tell you not to do.
Jamie: Wow.
Rosanne: And I got pregnant and I. When we went to the ultrasound to see him, they said, oh, how old are you?
And, and they’re like, oh, you know, this is a high risk pregnancy uhhuh, because you’re well into your forties and you know, you need to see a high risk specialist. I said, Nope, my baby’s fine. You have no idea what it took for him to get here. And I just, I, I beat back all of those fears and it’s some of the stuff that I, I teach in my Fearless Pregnancy book, you’ll read it.
And I just said, Nope, this baby’s meant for me. The desire for him has never gone away. He is meant for me. And you know, there were so many times they tried to scare me, you know, oh, you know, we should do a C-section. We should hurry up and get this baby out. I said, Nope, this baby is coming when he’s ready.
And I didn’t allow anybody, like even at the, 19 week ultrasound, the body scan that they do they said, oh, you know, we see a spot on his liver. I said, Nope, my baby is fine. They said, come back in a week. We’re gonna have the radiologist or you know, whoever come in and read this, a second scan. I said, all right, I’m gonna come back, but my baby is fine.
And they scanned him. The doctor said, oh yeah, I see a little spot here. I said, doc, in the 40 years that you say that you have been practicing medicine, has any baby with that kind of a spot ever had a problem with their liver? He said, no. I said, thank you, and I left. And, and so, so what I’m getting to here, Jamie, is this.
Process of becoming a mom isn’t just about getting pregnant, it’s about staying pregnant. But it’s also about your transformation as a woman to be an amazing mom. Because I realized having lived under so much fear, doubt, negativity, shame, comparison on my journey, that once my son was in my body and once he had made his presence known to me, I was going to protect him from the jump.
And he was born naturally. I had him vaginally, even though they tried to scare me into having a C-section, I said, no. They said he needs to be born at 39 weeks. I said, no, we’re gonna let him go a little longer and ’cause he’s gonna come when he is ready. And they said, but you’re older, you’re your placenta or your cord could calcify.
I said, do you see any evidence of that? No. Okay, I’ll see you, you know, I’ll see you when I’m ready. And I did end up letting them induce me a little bit early. And ’cause I think my fluid was just a teeny bit down. I said, okay, now you’re providing me with some evidence upon which I can make a great informed choice for myself.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Rosanne: And I went in, I had him, he was perfect. He was perfect, Jamie. And like, when I held him for the first time, it was like, you’re home. Ugh. And it taught me so much and, and this transformation, like I really encourage the women listening, whether you’re trying to conceive or you are pregnant, start acting like Mom now. Don’t wait. Don’t wait, because you would never let somebody run up and scare your kid on the street. Right? Like, you never let somebody do that. Like, you’re gonna protect your kids now. And, and I don’t want this to come off as like it’s us against them. I don’t feel that, I think that we can be collaborative in our approach.
So whether somebody’s trying to conceive, find a team, ladies that believes in you, find a team that believes in you. Don’t allow people to scare you with statistics. Statistics, most of those statistics are 40 to 50 years old and they didn’t include you. So believe in yourself. I mean, having seen crazy things like I have women coming into my coaching practice that had a less than 1% chance of conceiving by any means get pregnant naturally because of who they allowed themselves to become.
Jamie: Yeah.
Rosanne: They allowed themselves to believe. In fact we’re filming for my documentary that’s coming out in 2026. We just visited some clients in North Carolina, New York, and Montreal. Every single one of those women was told scary things, but they’re holding babies today because of what they chose to believe.
Yeah, that’s the power. So whether you’re pregnant trying to conceive, like start taking a look at the story and the paradigm that you’re living. By in your mind and understand that you are an amazing, strong woman who has done amazing things in her life. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have your family.
So whatever it is, your fertility journey or your pregnancy journey, walk today from here on out, from the moment you listen to this moving forward walk, this journey that you’re on, as if this was meant for you and that you know how the story ends with your health. Healthy, happy baby.
Jamie: I love that. Now, you kind of said from the beginning, you always said him. Did you always believe that he was gonna be a boy?
Rosanne: I had a feeling. And, and I can’t explain why other than knowing that I was gonna be the mother of a son just because of my personality. Like, you know, and I just, it felt correct to me. Like, I don’t know why. In fact, I have to tell you a funny little story, super quick.
He named himself, my son’s name is Asher.
Jamie: What?
Rosanne: Yeah, totally.
Jamie: Tell us.
Rosanne: Named. Yeah. So I was about six months pregnant and I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed and all of a sudden the name Asher popped into my head and I’m like, Asher, is that even a name? And I Googled it and I said, oh, it’s Hebrew for happy and blessed.
I’m like, wow. He just named himself. I mean, as a woman who, who believes wholeheartedly in the power of the mind body connection and that our mind is everything. He’s in my body. We’re in the same closed system. He’s communicating to me. And you know, by that point he was already kicking and doing his thing.
And I was like, okay, sweetheart, your name is Asher. And I went and told my husband, I said, his name is Asher. And my, my husband said, okay. And that was it. From that moment on, he was Asher.
Jamie: Oh wow. That’s beautiful. Well, how was your pregnancy?
Rosanne: It was, it was effortless. Oh my gosh. Jane was effortless. I, I didn’t even, I had no symptoms.
Wow. It was funny ’cause like my, my mom knew I was pregnant before I did. ’cause she’s like. She was, I guess I was wearing a top that was like, I, I didn’t, I don’t typically wear V-neck tops, but I guess I was wearing some lower cut top. She’s like, you know, did you change your bra? And I’m like, no, you know, and she’s like, oh, okay.
And and, and I’m like, you know, checking around like, wow, okay. You know, maybe something is different. So, yeah. So it was kind of funny, like how, how everything turned out that way. But other than having sore breasts and being like asleep a lot, like in the middle of the day needing a nap, I had no symptoms.
It was effortless. And like, it wasn’t until probably a month before I had him that my ankle started swelling.
Jamie: Oh my gosh.
Rosanne: That was it. I mean, the IE had even taken, they, they told me I was border borderline with gestational diabetes and I said, I’m not taking that medication. My son and I are gonna walk around.
So I completely beat that too. I was like, I’m not taking any medication. I’m just gonna eat well, and we’re gonna walk and we’re gonna enjoy walks together before he’s walking for himself. He will walk with me and that’s just what we did.
Jamie: Awesome.
Rosanne: So it was easy. Yeah, it was easy. I didn’t even have to change my, I think I was so looking forward to having pregnancy jeans. I was so delighted about that. I’m like, ah, I get to you know, gonna buy myself a cute pair of designer jeans that are with a pregnancy band. And it was just, it was one of the happiest times of my life. So, and, and I’m 51 now, so I’m like, oh, I, I know that if I wanted another baby, I would have one Uhhuh.
I’m like, I know if I could call him in before I know I could call another one in. But I’m like, now my work and my ladies and my books and my documentary, those are my babies now. Yeah. So, yeah.
Jamie: Well, tell us your, your birth was naturally
Rosanne: Yes.
Jamie: How, how was recovery afterwards?
Rosanne: You know, it was really easy. I didn’t you know, I didn’t ha have any, I didn’t have much tearing.
I had a great doula. I had done something really wise and I had hired a doula to come in to come in with me, and it was great. It was definitely the most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. I, you know, so I had him vaginally and then I, I did opt for me to have a epidural at six centimeters.
So I had gone far and I guess my blood pressure was going a little haywire at the time. So I did have some support with some of that, but, you know, everything was. It was pretty smooth. And so, and afterward, it was good. I didn’t, nobody told me that when you left the hospital, you would still look six months pregnant.
But I was like, oh, you know, it, it was great. It was great. The only complication that we had was he was born both lip tied and tongue tied uhhuh. So breastfeeding was not easy and frankly was an utter disaster. But luckily I had done a lot of research before I had stocked up on I was one of the psycho moms that was ordering formula from Europe,
Jamie: Uhhuh
Rosanne: because it was the cleanest, it, it was organic, clean, grass fed, didn’t have any maltodextrin in it.
So I just said, okay, if I can’t, you know, in the off chance that I can’t feed him myself, I wanna be very conscious so that I’m feeding the best quality, you know, formula that I could. So we did a combination of, because he wasn’t latching formula and breastfeeding. And probably after about a month or two, my, my milk was like, see ya.
Oh. So we gave him, we gave him breast milk for as long as we could, as much as we could. And then he was on formula. Yeah. So it was, yeah. And I’m like, at that point I learned enough about loving yourself to be like, look, I don’t need to get a gold medal in pain tolerance. Sure. I also don’t need a gold medal in breastfeeding.
I think it’s, you know, women need to give themselves a break. Do the best that you can and be and trust that your baby knows you’re doing your best. And that’s all any of us can do.
Jamie: Yeah. And mentally how was your postpartum?
Rosanne: You know, there was, there were a few times when I was certainly feeling it. I was certainly feeling it, but you know, I had, one of the things that kept me kind of even keel, I would say, was consistently telling myself this is the life that I chose. This is what I wanted. Sometimes I wanna cry, sometimes I wanna scream. Sometimes I am like looking down at him and like, not sure what to do or who is this baby? You know, like, and I was like, Nope. I’m going back into the moment that I knew I was gonna be his mom. I’m choosing this and I’m gonna figure a way through it. And that settled down probably after a couple weeks, and then I was back and back to feeling like myself and, you know, because it’s also an identity shift, Jamie. Yeah. Like it’s an identity shift from being the woman struggling with fertility to the woman that’s pregnant, to the woman that’s a mom.
Jamie: Yeah, it happens fast.
Rosanne: Like all of that happens. Like it, yeah. I mean, the gap between being pregnant and becoming a mom is very small. Yeah. Compared to many of our fertility journeys. That could be years, sometimes decades. Yeah. And so, you know, having worked on my mindset and having been an, you know, a faithful student of it and then leaning into my own faith really brought me to a place where I was able to stay conscious.
You know, we talked earlier about the conscious mind, the subconscious mind. The more you can stay conscious of what’s going on in your own stories and your own negativity and all this other stuff, and having compassion for yourself, then you can navigate this, I think, a little more elegantly. Not perfectly sure, but elegantly enough to be able to say, this is all part of the deal.
I signed up to be this baby’s mom. And I might be confused right now. I may feel very down right now, but I’m gonna ask for what I need, you know? And that’s another thing I really encourage women do not hesitate to have support when your baby comes. Like, and sometimes having friends and family, those aren’t the right people.
Sometimes you want professionals to come in that you don’t have any baggage with because then that way you can say, I’m paying this person to do exactly what I asked them to do. And there’s no like old family story of me being greedy or being a diva. Like that professional is there to do what you ask them to do.
And sometimes, you know, I didn’t ask my family to come in, not because I don’t love them, but because I’ve been like 40 freaking years since my mom had held a baby. You know, like Right. She doesn’t remember and like. You know, so I’m like, okay, let me get some, you know, crunchy, patchouli smelling doulas in here to help me.
You know, that’s what I wanted, you know? And so it, it was awesome. And to, to answer your question, it definitely showed me new things about myself, is what I would say. And I think if women can keep their mind open about that, that they’re at every stage, there’s gonna be new facets of myself that I’m gonna find, then you can have compassion and joy in the process.
Jamie: I love that. Now is there anything else you wanna go over with your pregnancy or birth or anything?
Rosanne: You know, I, I would really encourage women. To have the time of their lives when they’re pregnant, like my second trimester. I mean, as I had said earlier, I had an easy pregnancy and and I think that we can all like, embrace whatever shows up during our pregnancy with some compassion and grace.
But I thought that my second trimester was one of the most energetic times in my life. I was extremely creative. And it was a blossoming of my own femininity that I’m really grateful for having experienced. And so I would really encourage women like, look, it doesn’t matter, like, allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy.
People may try to scare you about this or that, but trust that you have everything inside of you to get to where you need to go in this pregnancy and, and make a decision you’re gonna enjoy it.
Jamie: What has been your biggest challenge being pregnant over 40?
Rosanne: Other people’s perceptions. And it was crazy ’cause I’m like, I’m healthy.
Like I’m 51. Do I look 51? No, definitely not. I’m like, you know, and I’m like, why? Why do all these people want to smear their fear all over me? Like I have nothing to be afraid of. Like, and I’m certainly not going to have my son swimming in cortisol. Right. It’s like I’m not gonna allow all that fear and negativity.
So I really paid attention, Jamie, to who I surrounded myself with once I start, you know, ’cause everyone wants to tell you their scary birth story.
Jamie: Oh they do.
Rosanne: People want to. People wanna tell you about their uncles, sisters, friends, you know, niece who had some terrifying experiences. It’s like, I was like, shut up, stay away from me.
I don’t wanna take any of that on like, ’cause my son can hear you, the baby can hear by 16 weeks. And then, but I also believe, you know, on a spiritual basis they can hear you wave before then. So I was constantly affirming that my baby is safe, you know, we are gonna be together. This is amazing. You know, and, and I wasn’t taking on anyone’s perceptions.
I mean that’s how I kind of sailed through a lot of things that could have been crisis in, in my pregnancy, you know, with a 19 week ultrasound and then the gestational diabetes, being borderline for that. I’m like, nah, I’m not taking any of that on. I don’t believe for any of that. And we just created a different reality so I encourage other women to like take control of that as well.
Jamie: Yes, I love that so much. Is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth?
Rosanne: Yes, so I am a strong believer, as we’ve probably discussed multiple times at this point of mindset. So when somebody is preparing for pregnancy, I really encourage them, whether they’re on a fertility, like an extended fertility journey, or they’re just now starting to try in their forties, is you’ve got to, number one, get clear about what you want.
And I don’t mean just that you want a baby. I want you to get very clear about how you want to do this because just as we were talking about a few moments ago, everyone’s got an opinion, but if you aren’t clear on yours, you are going to be open to being manipul ted shamed, pushed into something that you may not wanna do.
Like I was only trying naturally for six months before I was in IVF, and nobody tried to stop me. Nobody had the presence of mind to say, lady, we know how badly you want this baby list. Slow this train down a little bit and look at some other things, right? I’m not blaming anybody, but learn from my experience.
You don’t have to be afraid. I mean, I’ve got clients left and right, getting pregnant naturally at 45, 47, 50, okay? It is possible, but you have to know what you want, okay? Number one, and see it the whole way through. What do you want? Not just from your, from getting pregnant, like how do you wanna be in your pregnancy?
How do you wanna be as a mom? Really map that out. You don’t have to have it perfectly, but have a vision in your mind. So when that vision is in your mind, you can hold it and continuously impress upon it. You know, with your subconscious mind.
Now the second thing is not only know what you want, you have to be willing to ask for it. And I think that because so many women are, that are over 40 wanting to have babies, are met with lectures and shame and aren’t, when are you gonna give up on this? Don’t you think you’re too old? Like, be willing to ask for what you want?
Jamie: Definitely.
Rosanne: No shame in your game. Like at the end of the day, everyone else gets to go home, Jamie.
Everyone is going home and probably to their children. So anyone that would shame you or judge you for wanting to have a baby in their forties doesn’t know what they’re talking about. And chances are they gave up on their dream decades ago. So they’re not exactly the person you wanna be listening to anyway.
Jamie: Exactly.
Rosanne: Just like they say, don’t get financial advice from someone who’s broke. Right. Listen to other people who have created the kind of success that you desire. And then the third thing in preparing for pregnancy and during pregnancy is have fun. Have fun. It’s, it’s the intuitive move that most people forget.
Yeah, let yourself have fun. You are having a baby, you’re not having a root canal. Make this about joy and the more joy that you can bring into your life, even at a time when it may seem frightening or it may seem like it will never happen, there is a thing called vitamin J and that’s joy. And that will take you so much farther than, I mean, I’m living proof than any treatment, diet, lotion, potion.
Like go have fun, be in, enjoy, and just watch what comes in.
Jamie: Now, what advice would you give yourself when you’re pregnant if you could go back?
Rosanne: I would say go out on more dates. Oh, it it, it’s funny ’cause like, you know, I was working a lot when I was pregnant and my husband and I are very close. We have such an incredible relationship. We’re fun, adventurous people. But I, I think I just got so at times, so wrapped up in my work and just so loving being pregnant that I didn’t go out much and I’m like, you know what? I would’ve worn more of my pregnancy outfits, my pregnancy dresses, and like, I think I would’ve gone out more and, and you know, just taking that bump on parade like a little bit more. ’cause like, it’s like I miss, I like, at times I’m like. Man, I love being pregnant so much that I wish I was more in the present.
Mm-hmm. So I would say is be present with your pregnancy.
Jamie: I love that. Now, is there anything else you want to say to our listeners, or do you wanna get into your coaching program and tell us about that?
Rosanne: Yeah, so I would just encourage women, look, you know, here’s the thing, you’re, you’re gonna hear a lot of things from a lot of people.
And when I broke down those three things to keep aware of in preparation for being pregnant and then during your pregnancy is this journey. It is coming into your life for a reason. It’s such a wonderful time to reevaluate what’s this new identity I’m stepping into? Who do I wanna be now? And to really evaluate what’s working for you and what’s not working for you in your life, so that you can emerge from this chapter with a new sense of vision, a new sense of what it is that you want and who you wanna be.
Because I think, think a lot of women, especially when we’re on this journey for an extended period of time, we’re just trying to get to baby that we don’t really think beyond that. And I think thinking beyond that. Gives us the kind of stamina, gives us the kind of vision that will allow us to keep going even when things get crazy uhhuh on this journey.
So I really encourage women to just take a step back and get out of the immediacy of the crisis and take like a 36,000 foot view of our of your life and really continue to ask that really intimate question of what it is that they want. And, and that’s actually something that when I’m working with clients, ’cause I, I work mostly with professional women, so physicians, lawyers, teachers, nurses, engineers, scientists, entrepreneurs.
And you know, after they’ve been trying for so long, they’ve lost themselves. So one of the key things that we do is bring them back to themselves first because we get into patterns, Jamie, that we don’t even recognize that we’re doing it. We get into lax scarcity, fear, doubt, negativity, comparison, all of these things. So what we do in my work is really break those patterns and construct new ones so that your mind and your body get recalibrated. And they’re pointed in the direction of fertility success and, and I believe any woman that sincerely wants to have a baby is going to. In 11 years of doing this work, the only women that I see that do not get to the end of their fertility journey with a baby are the ones that gave up.
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
Rosanne: So you’ve got to be the woman that says, I’m not giving up on myself, I’m not giving up on my baby, and I’m not giving up on my body, you know, whatever. And like, look, and that comes in many different forms, right? I’ve worked with women who have welcomed their children through the support of an amazing angel of a surrogate, or women who have used donor eggs.
Like it’s all beautiful. It’s all like, look, are you, are you all in or are you out? Right? And when you’re all in, the judgment drops away. The scales drop from your eyes and you’re able to see things that you hadn’t seen before. But. All of that starts up here and, and women often think, oh, when I’m pregnant, every, you know, there’s gonna be a marching band that comes through my house.
All my problems go away. And it’s like, nope. That’s just when the real game starts. Because this isn’t just about getting pregnant, it’s about staying pregnant and having a healthy, happy pregnancy. And your mind is critical to all of that. So that’s what we do, and that’s what I’ve written four books about.
And we have a fifth coming out and my first book has been translated into Russian and now Spanish. So I’m on a mission to help a hundred thousand women have a hundred thousand babies, and we are well on our way. So it’s, it’s a very exciting thing and I’m delighted that I was able to turn my pain into purpose and help women finally get and stay pregnant.
Jamie: So I love that. And how can someone get in touch with you and work with you?
Rosanne: Yeah, so one of the things that we, we always recommend is to check out my podcast, the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. We have over 340 episodes out now, and it’s a, it’s a wonderful way for them to get a taste of what that’s like. Because I am 10 years in the courtroom will make you very salty.
And so they get the, the un unedited version of me on there speaking very directly about the kind of lessons that I wish somebody taught me when I was living my fertility journey, and then things that I wish. Somebody told me about being pregnant and, and then lessons from, from later on. And we have loads of guest experts and my, what I call my Miracle Mamas on so that one of the ways that we learn is through story, which you’re doing here, which I think is really cool. And so there’s loads of women who have come through my programs and have made Im the seemingly Impossible Possible. And it’s through those podcast episodes we’re on YouTube as well that they can see through other women what’s possible for them.
So I would encourage listeners to go to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast or check out, I’m very active on Instagram at Roseanne Austin Fertility on Instagram. Or check out my website, which is www.frommaybetobaby.com. And that’s TO. So going from May, from maybe to baby. That’s how people can get ahold of us, check out our materials. My books are on Amazon, so there’s loads of ways for women to get familiar with this work and to get to know who we are.
Jamie: Awesome. Well, Roseanne, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story.
Rosanne: Yeah, well it’s, it’s such an honor to have spent this time with you, Jamie, and to go back down memory lane of my own pregnancy and I’m like, ah, I, when I’m done here, I’m just gonna go hug my son a little bit harder. And and I really do wish all of your listeners a wonderful pregnancy and the ability to find in themselves a level of fearlessness that will make this chapter in their lives just so incredible. So, I wish you the best.