40. What happens when you decide to stop focusing on pregnancy and start focusing entirely on healing your own body after a major health battle? For Tracy, shifting her mindset at age 40 after a severe bout of COVID pneumonia led to the natural, vibrant pregnancy she had always dreamed of.
On episode 40, Tracy Gabrielsen, a mom of two who navigated pregnancy at ages 37 and 41. Tracy opens up about the emotional and physical contrasts between her two pregnancies, shedding light on how she overcame pregnancy depression the first time around by radically transforming her mindset for her second. From processing a painful miscarriage to moving states at 24 weeks pregnant, Tracy shares how she rejected the “geriatric pregnancy” label and took complete control of her health through intentional fitness, targeted nutrition, and mental conditioning.
Get an inside look at Tracy’s remarkably fast, one-push delivery and her transparent recovery journey. She shares the realities of postpartum depression, her daily three-step journaling routine that anchored her mental health, and the importance of open communication with her husband. This episode is packed with practical tips, including the holistic habits that kept her digestion regular and her body strong. Her story is a powerful reminder for women in their 40s that an empowering, vibrant birth experience is entirely possible over 40.
About the Guest
Tracy Gabrielsen, from Michigan, is a former event planner, small business owner, and wellness advocate dedicated to inspiring women to embrace health at every stage of motherhood. After navigating the joys and challenges of welcoming children in her late 30s and early 40s. Through her transparent sharing on fitness, nutrition, and mindset, she serves as a relatable peer and mentor for mothers striving to build physical strength and mental resilience.
Connect with Tracy:
- Instagram: @inspired_by_wellness
- Facebook: Tracy Post Gabrielsen
Key Topics
- Shifting Mindset After Illness: Overcoming COVID pneumonia at age 40 and pivoting focus toward personal strength and self-care.
- Navigating Miscarriage and Grief: Breaking the silence around early pregnancy loss and finding comfort in community.
- Overcoming Pregnancy & Postpartum Depression: Real talk on body image struggles during pregnancy and transitioning from one child to two.
- Defying the “Geriatric Pregnancy” Label: Being your own medical advocate, researching facts, and treating pregnancy on a case-by-case basis.
- Holistic Pregnancy & Birth Prep: Utilizing deep squats, yoga, targeted nutrition (like aloe and collagen), and eating dates to prepare the cervix for labor.
- The Power of Morning Gratitude: Tracy’s daily three-step journaling routine to reprogram the brain for positivity.
Resources & Links
Note: Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase. I only recommend products our guests truly love!
Instagram: Follow Over 40 Fabulous and Pregnant
YouTube: Watch Episodes HERE
Show References: My Letter Exercise for TTC & Squats for prepare for birth & Eating dates study by National Library of Medicine & Aloe Juice Concentrate
Recommended Products: Collagen Peptides & Guide to Child Birth by Ina May
Shop More: See ALL products recommended by our guests!
Support the Podcast: Donate to the Podcast
Community: Join the Over 40 Fabulous Facebook Group or get on the Waitlist to Know When the next TTC Sisterhood Circle meets on Zoom.
Transcript
Jamie: Tracy, welcome to the show.
Tracy: Oh, my pleasure.
Jamie: will you tell us the story Was this planned?
Tracy: It wasn’t planned. It was definitely something we had talked about. We have a son who’s four, so I was 37 when I had him. And then a year and a half, when he was a year and a half, we got, I went to have a procedure done, and they make you take, ’cause it’s under an X-ray machine, so they make you take a pregnancy test, and I found out I was pregnant.
I miscarried that one at eight weeks. So I think at that point it was one of those conversations where we got excited again. We didn’t know if we wanted more kids. But then by getting pregnant and having the miscarriage, it was a conversation we had to have with each other, and I think we were both open if it happened. We are both big in our faith and our religion so we just said, “It’s God’s plan, whatever God has planned for us.” So it was one of those where if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.
Secretly after the miscarriage, I really wanted another, a girl. I’m just like I just really want a girl in life. I want a daughter to be able to bring her up and encourage her and empower her and give her, everything that I’ve always wanted.
We weren’t in a good place, so obviously it takes two people to make a pregnancy work, so it was not like we were necessarily trying. So I just quit, gave up on the thought of having another one. I was like, “All right. I just turned 40, and I’m just gonna start focusing on myself.” Right before my 40th birthday, we just got out of being in the hospital for two weeks with COVID pneumonia.
Jamie: Wow.
Tracy: I got out of the hospital a week before my 40th birthday. So I turned 40, and it was one of those things where it’s like I, I shifted my mind and I said, “I need to start focusing on me.
I need to start focusing on building strength because I have a child I need to take care of already, and I’m 40 and he’s three. So I need to shift how I’m thinking.” And then ironically, yeah, The day I got to my pre-pregnancy weight and stronger than I was before, I found out I was pregnant, and it just kinda happened naturally.
Jamie: That’s awesome. It’s like your body said, “Oh, you’re ready now.”
Tracy: Yeah, absolutely. That’s the way I thought of it. It was like maybe I just wasn’t ready because of the things that were gonna happen. And when I got pregnant and had the miscarriage it was actually August and September, and we were getting married that December.
I would have been pregnant during our wedding. We had already postponed our wedding the first time ’cause we found out we were pregnant with our son, which was a surprise. It was like, “Okay, now I guess I’m gonna be a few months pregnant.” I was gonna be 20 weeks pregnant at our wedding, so I was like, “Oh, maybe I’ll do the wedding cake.” And then, we miscarried and I believe God had a plan for us and it just wasn’t the time, so I got to truly enjoy our wedding. I got to truly enjoy our honeymoon. And now we have our almost six-month-old daughter.
Jamie: Yeah, that’s great. And thanks for sharing about your miscarriage. I’m sorry it happened, but I really try to encourage women to discuss miscarriage more, and I appreciate that.
Tracy: I think it is nice to talk about because some women, they might not have anyone to talk about. So to know that someone else has truly been going through that, you never know what to say to them, and it’s okay that you don’t know what to say, but by knowing other people have gone through it helps.
Jamie: will you tell us the story of how you got pregnant and finding out?
Tracy: Absolutely. The one that I was in my 40s with I just felt off one day, and I was working at my small business. And the girl I was working with, I told her, I was like, “I think I might be pregnant. I just feel really weird. I feel really off. “
She’s are you late?” And I was like, “No, I’m not late or anything. I’m actually… I’m not supposed to start for three days.” And then something that afternoon was like, “Just stop and get a test.” So I stopped and got a test, and I took it. And I was like, “Ugh, I don’t know. This line is very faint. It could be, like…”
But I’m like, “I’ve taken tests before, and it was clearly no line.” So I was like, “All right.” I told my husband that night. I was like, “I think I might be pregnant.” He’s take it again in the morning. Are you sure?” It’s a very faint line. So I took a pregnancy test again in the morning. It was a little bit darker.
The next morning it was a little bit darker, and I’m like, “I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant at this point.” So it was definitely a surprise. But ironically, it was the day I found out, the day I took that first test, was the day I finally got to my pre-pregnancy weight from my first pregnancy.
Jamie: Oh, wow.
Tracy: I was just like, “Are you kidding me? I just got back into the best shape, and now I’m pregnant again.”
Jamie: So now you’re pregnant. Tell us how was your pregnancy?
Tracy: So night and day compared to my first. Like I said, my first pregnancy I was 36, 37 when I had him. This pregnancy I was 40 and then 41 when I had her. And I share this as part of my story, ’cause if any of you end up following me on social media, I’m very big on being inspired by wellness, nutrition fitness. And I, with my son I, it was a surprise pregnancy. I’m gonna share a part of that, just because I find it funny. One of my best friends was late. I was a day late, and she’s “Please take a pregnancy test with me. I’m scared to take one alone.” I end up being the one pregnant and she was not, even though she was a week late. I had just lost 30 pounds, and I was like, “All right.”
So my first pregnancy, mentality-wise, I was in a bad space in my head where I got depressed during my pregnancy. I didn’t want the in my head I was just like, “I want the pregnancy, but I don’t want the I don’t wanna gain the weight.” So like I was like, “Oh my God, I’m gonna get, I’m gonna gain all this weight.” And I wasn’t thinking the way that I thought in the next pregnancy.
So from the first pregnancy to the second pregnancy, even though I was older, my mindset was so much different, because I feel like I truly trained and prepped myself that if God blessed me with another, that’s how I looked at it, if God blesses me with another child, I want to be able to mentally know that as a woman, our bodies are meant to expand and grow and nurture that child. We are growing a human being inside of us.
I truly feel like, God gave us as women that ability to have children and birth them, because we are capable of doing so much compared to a man. Nothing against a man, because I feel like they are capable of doing other things that we might not be capable of. So just the whole mentality of how I looked at my pregnancy was totally different this time around.
Jamie: So did you find out the gender during pregnancy?
Tracy: Yes. So I’m a planner. I was an event planner before and I love planning events. I just couldn’t go without knowing it. It was just one of those things where it’s like, “I need to know,” because I have some boy stuff saved and some gender neutral stuff.
But if it’s a girl, I want the ribbons, the bows-
Jamie: Yeah
Tracy: … the tutus.
Jamie: We’re going pink all the way.
Tracy: I want the princess stuff. So it was definitely one of those where it’s like, “I wanna know.” So we talked about it, and we just did the DNA testing for gender. So I told him, I was like, “If it comes back a girl, we’re for sure having a girl. But if it comes back a boy,” I told him, “I’m still gonna hold out and hope until the 20-week ultrasound,” because maybe, my son’s DNA or his DNA in the house ruined the test.
When it came back, we did the… And you get the email with the kit. So you send in your information, they give you, and they send you the email. So we did a video of us opening up the email to find out it was a girl.
Jamie: Oh, cute.
Tracy: The Easter last year in Easter, we did I had my sister make a little shirt, ’cause we did our pregnancy announcement, we did a Toy Story themed. So we had our son in a box that said, “Toys.” He was dressed as Woody. And it said, “You got a friend in me. My best friend coming,” the date was 11/11/2022 was our due date.
So then we had a shirt that said each of our family member had to open the egg. It had the onesie in it that said, “My best friend,” and it had a picture of Jessie. So it was, you know-
Jamie: Yeah.
Tracy: But yeah, we definitely, being a planner, I definitely wanted to know and I couldn’t wait.
Jamie: And how was it finding out? You found out through email, right?
Tracy: Yeah. It was… different because in our first our friends did a cake, so we cut a cake in front of our families. But it-
Jamie: So that’s how you found out …
Tracy: for the first one. Oh. This one we found out via email.
So it was it was different finding out that way, but I wanted to know so bad, and I think there was, like, a relief ’cause I was like, “Oh my God, wonder if it comes back a boy.” Am I gonna just be that boy mom? Which I would’ve been okay with, but secretly when I found out the first one, ’cause at 37 with my first pregnancy, I was thinking it was one and done. I wasn’t gonna have any more kids. Just ’cause of the stereotypical things you hear out there. I just started getting fearful that maybe that was my one shot of having a child. And it’s so when I found out he was a boy, I was like holding back tears. It’s not that I wasn’t happy, it was just I wanted a girl in case this was, like, a one and done thing.
But I now have my girl, and I’m beyond happy, and it’s amazing ’cause My son was, like, a mama’s boy, and he still is, and you can tell she’s gonna be such a daddy’s girl because- … she has him wrapped around her finger. It’s- That’s so great … it’s the best.
Jamie: And how was it?
Were you just scanning the email looking for boy or girl on there?
Tracy: So it plays a little video, so it doesn’t say it in the email. So you can open the email and not know. You have to press the video-
Jamie: Ooh
Tracy: ’cause then the video plays, and then it pops up pink with confetti.
Jamie: Oh, that’s fun! How did you feel when you saw it was a girl?
Tracy: I just was like, “Thank you. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.” I was just happy because I have an older brother, and it was just that protection from having an older brother. So it was like I just wanted that for my kids. I always dreamed of having a boy and a girl with the boy being older so he can protect his younger sister. I also have a younger sister. I have a half-sister who’s 13 years younger than me, so I was a teenager when I quit being the baby.
But so I had both, but it was just my personal dreams as a little girl was I was gonna have two kids. I was gonna have the boy, then I was gonna have the girl. So watching it unfold it’s like my dreams are coming true.
Jamie: That’s awesome. And was there any product that you couldn’t live without or you would recommend that helped with pregnancy?
Tracy: I’m very into my nutrition, so my tea concentrate was what gave me life. I drink it two times a day, my herbal tea concentrate. I actually was what made me sick also, so I had to eat like an apple with peanut butter before I can drink it so I didn’t have an empty stomach.
It gave me energy, ’cause as I’m having a toddler and then being pregnant, it was totally different. It was a different type of tired. I loved the collagen. I the collagen that I take has a Verisol collagen, which is provenly known to help with skin elasticity, and I didn’t wanna add more stretch marks.
Jamie: That’s great. And were you able to work out throughout your pregnancy?
Tracy: I worked out until 38 weeks pregnant. I- I was really big on like I worked out seven days, six days. I don’t know that I ever missed more than five days a week my entire pregnancy. Once I hit 38 weeks and the baby started dropping and that pressure I started walking.
So it’s not that I wasn’t working out, I just started walking at that point. So I was walking probably four or five days a week but I wasn’t necessarily lifting ’cause the pressure just, it was a lot. And I was like, I thought I was gonna go early because I started feeling the pressure so much earlier than I did with my son.
Jamie: And what inspired you to keep working out throughout your pregnancy?
Tracy: I really just wanted to inspire other people to show the difference in like my last pregnancy and this pregnancy. Just being healthy, knowing that my bones are a little bit older, knowing that there’s so much stereotypical things that are out there. I didn’t wanna necessarily believe anything. I wanted to do my own research on everything along the way and come up with my own facts or my own reasons of why I’m doing something. Yeah. So it was just, I wanted to be able to have a healthier pregnancy. I have a lot of women that I look up to in my life who are actually younger than, most of them were younger than me, in their 30s, their 20s. But even just seeing how fitness helped their pregnancies from a fit to a non-fit pregnancy was very inspiring to me. So it’s definitely something where I just, I wanted to feel good. And I wanted to truly enjoy the pregnancy, and this pregnancy was absolutely amazing. I just absolutely loved it.
Jamie: Yeah. It sounds like you wanted to be an example of what’s possible.
Tracy: Absolutely. If you see my Instagram, it’s Inspired by Wellness. I wanted to be inspiring to other women. Yeah. And I’ve had other women reach out to me that are, like, late 30s that are like, “Thank you for giving me hope to know that it’s still possible to become pregnant as I’m reaching towards 40.”
Jamie: Yeah. And what about your diet? Did you change that whenever you knew you were pregnant?
Tracy: No, I actually didn’t. So my first pregnancy I did not. There was a lot of things I didn’t like. I think I lived on a plain cheeseburger for my first trimester, ’cause that’s all my s- like, when I was pregnant with my son, I swear that’s all I could eat was plain cheeseburger.
This pregnancy I did change it some, because this pregnancy I could not stand the smell of meat. If chicken was grilling or beef or most meats, if they were cooking in front of me it made me nauseous and wanna go, like- barf. And so it was one of those where I, it’s if it was already cooked and I didn’t smell it being cooked, I could eat it.
But I’m the one who cooks my food, so like I had to be very cautious or buy stuff that was already cooked because otherwise I just couldn’t eat it ’cause I, I had that smell in my nose. And then I was like, “Oh, that just ruins my appetite.” But I didn’t change anything in my diet. I just stuck to, the, what I was doing and what was working for me. I compared a lot of, not with other pregnancies, but my first pregnancy to this pregnancy. My first pregnancy I stuck with my nutrition, but not really.
This pregnancy I truly stuck with my nutrition, my fitness, and it was just like night and day how I carried the baby, how I felt, even how like, obviously once I go into like the, my delivery story and stuff, it’s just like to me all been an amazing experience.
Jamie: That’s great. And how did you prepare for birth and baby?
Tracy: So I definitely, tried to find what exercises are gonna help. So I did a lot of, squats just because to keep my legs strong. So I did a lot of squats. I did a lot of yoga. I did yoga once a week just to continue stretching my body. Our bodies are naturally meant to deliver babies, so it was just what are the things that are gonna help me go into delivery, the f- the position that’s comfortable to me?
The, what are the exercises that are gonna help me stretch those areas or help me stretch those hips? So I did a lot of hip stretching. I did a lot of like yoga and lifting weights ’cause I wanted the strength. And then I also practiced I don’t even know what to call it, but like that primal sitting where you’re like in a really deep squat. Your arms are on kinda like your knees.
Jamie: Yeah.
Tracy: But I practiced that weekly of just being in that deep squat, which felt really good. Yeah. You wouldn’t think it felt good, but because I was practicing it every week, it really felt good. And I did that until I was four, like through the entire pregnancy, even at 40 weeks,
Jamie: yeah, did you think that helped with birth?
Tracy: I definitely do, ’cause I feel like it helped open my hips up more. And then another thing is that I had a mom who told me, and then I started doing my own research on it, is to help prepare me for birth was dates.
I’m gonna share this because I want to help other people, but I ate six dates a day. But dates, if you look up and research dates help loosen up your cervix. Actually when I was at the end of my pregnancy, she’s “Your cervix is very just ready to open and go.”
So I, I believe it was the dates, ’cause I did not have dates my first pregnancy. So I was like it’s worth a try.” And she’s “I’m gonna do…” The doctor actually even said she was gonna do more research on it, ’cause if she feels that could help, she’s gonna share it with her future patients,
Jamie: oh, interesting.
Tracy: Never had a date in my life until this pregnancy, last preg- did it
Jamie: help you be super regular too?
Tracy: I was already regular because of some of the nutrition products that I was using. I drank an aloe every day, which that was another product. I drank an aloe concentrate, which I think helped keep my digestive system going, ’cause in pregnancy, naturally you’re gonna get backed up, you’re gonna get constipated.
Jamie: Yeah.
Tracy: I know people don’t like talking about your digestion, but it … it’s only natural. Your everything is getting crammed into your stomach, so your- Yeah … digestion system just shrinks and just, So making sure you’re eating fiber and making sure you’re doing things that are gonna help your digestive system- ’cause it’s already gonna have a hard enough time. I wanted to make sure I was doing things that were gonna keep helping my re- system stay regular.
Jamie: Yeah. I’ve had hemorrhoids since 2007, so no problems talking about that stuff.
Tracy: Oh, yeah. I think I’ve had them since before then I literally wanna say it was back in the, I wanna say I was in college, so early 2000s. I, it was just something, I got them, and it’s once you get them more often, yeah. I’ve s- I’ve never had a problem talking about poop.
Jamie: Yeah, me either. What doctor did you use? Did you use the same one as your first one?
Tracy: I started with the same doctor I went to the first one because I love them. But the doctor, it was one of those practices where they had eight doctors, and you kinda rotated the doctors. And then as we found out we were pregnant and started having the conversations, we were both three to three and a half hours from either set of parents. So it was one of those where my husband applied with his company and ended up getting a transfer. So at 24 weeks pregnant we moved states.
Jamie: Oh my gosh.
Tracy: So we moved three and a half hours away and I had to find a new doctor at 24 weeks. I kept hearing that I was a geriatric pregnancy. I was so nervous to find a new doctor. But because we moved closer to my husband’s family, I reached out to my sister-in-law and said, “Hey, who did you use ’cause I know nobody?”
So I ended up going with the doctor that she delivered both of her kids, and there were four doctors in that practice. I almost fired them a week before 40 weeks because they kept wanting me to be induced, and I’m like, “I’m so much healthier this time around. I feel amazing. Everything on the scans have been amazing. Like, why do I have to be induced? I just want to go naturally in my pregnancy.” A week before I was 40 weeks, I met the last doctor I hadn’t met yet, and she finally sat down with me, and I was like, ” I wanna understand why.”
So she sat down with me, and we had a good almost hour conversation. I wanted to know my facts, my pregnancy, why you may want to have me be induced when everything is showing perfectly fine? She said, “A lot of it is just these are the studies that are done, but I’m always willing to have, like your scans look amazing. You’re already three centimeters. There’s no reason to induce you.” So she was comfortable with me going to 42 weeks if I went to 42 weeks.
Jamie: Good.
Tracy: Being that 42 weeks was gonna put me into Thanksgiving weekend, and I’m from Ohio, my husband’s from Michigan. 42 weeks would’ve been the day of the Ohio State-Michigan game, and my husband would’ve came home if I went into labor. So I had plus that plan that if I didn’t go by Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I was gonna be induced.
By me induced, they were gonna break my water ’cause I was already dilated. So it wasn’t drug induction. I was trying to stay away from drug induction- for my personal beliefs.
Jamie: Okay. So when did birth when did labor start?
Tracy: There were all these times where it’s like, “Am I going into labor? Am I not?” But then, they say if you feel like you’re having contractions, sit, ’cause you’re not gonna have contractions when you’re at rest. If you’re in labor, the contractions are gonna happen whether you’re at rest or moving. I would rest, and the contractions went away. I was like I’m not in labor.
But then on a Saturday my husband was actually supposed to go to the Michigan game with one of my best friends and her husband, and he’s I’m not going, obviously. I was already past due. I was 41 weeks and a day when I actually gave birth. So labor started on a Saturday morning. He’s “I’m gonna go to work since I’m not going to the Michigan game..”
I didn’t say anything while he’s at work, but I’m like, “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have this baby today.” Around 10:00 I started having contractions, and I knew they were contractions because if I moved, if I sat, it didn’t matter. The contractions were there.
Jamie: Why did you think birth was gonna happen then, or labor was gonna start that day? What symptoms- 10:30 … did you have?
Tracy: I had already had all the symptoms for four weeks everything that they say, “Oh, this is a sign labor is coming.” I thought I was gonna go early because I kept having the signs.
I had already lost my mucus plug. I already had the pressure that, they say you feel the pressure when the baby drops. And I already went through the nesting four weeks prior to giving birth. So it’s like I’ve already went through all the signs that labor was supposed to happen within typically they say when you look those things up, it’s most of those things say labor will probably happen within a week, and I was trying everything to try to get this.
Jamie: What were you trying?
Tracy: The only thing I didn’t do was, castor oil. I did not do that.
Obviously, we tried sex. Different things that people say to eat spicy foods. I’m like, “I’ve eaten spicy foods for a week and a half now and nothing.” Anytime someone told me to try something, I’m like, “Yep, I tried it, and I still haven’t gone into labor.” So that Saturday, I just felt it was different because all the contractions I had before that day went away.
On this occasion, they weren’t going away. They were very far off. Like, when I woke up, I was like, “Oh, I think that might have been a contraction.” It was 10 or 11 AM. I was like, “All right. I’m gonna start timing them. I have a contraction 11 AM.” And then for two hours, it was, like, every hour, so it was, like, 11:00 AM, 12:00 PM, 1:00 PM, contraction. My husband was home at this time. He got home around 12:30 to watch the Michigan football game that he couldn’t go to.
I told him, “I think we’re having this baby today.” We’re 45 minutes to an hour from the hospital based on traffic, so I was like, they tell you once your contractions are, like seven or eight minutes apart to head to the hospital, and I was like, “We probably should go around 15 minutes just because we’re so far from the hospital.” I timed them. For two hours they were about 30 minutes apart.
Then the game was starting then. At the end of the game, they were within 15 minutes of each other. So we already had everything packed for weeks at that time because I was past due.
Jamie: So late. Yeah.
Tracy: So we had everything ready to go. So we had our son with us. My mom’s in Ohio. She’s trying to figure out, do I come? She had already come to visit two other times thinking I was gonna go early. His parents are down to one car, and his dad was working the Michigan game, so his mom didn’t have transportation. So we’re trying to coordinate everything.
My mom was having my siblings over, and she’s “Do I tell them? Do I come?” I was like, “Mom, I don’t know what to tell you, but I’m gonna have this baby soon.” She’s “All right. I’m gonna start driving when you tell me you’re going to the hospital.” We had to coordinate everything. His sister had to meet us at the hospital to pick up our toddler.
I swear every bump made my contractions go closer and closer on to the way, and I know someone said car rides, bumpy car rides, like they’re not lying. Once you’re having contractions, bumpy car rides feel like they sped my contractions up because every bump, it was, like, contraction right after each bump.
So by the time I got to the hospital, the contractions were three to four minutes apart. So get checked in, drop the toddler. My sister takes our toddler to my mother-in-law’s, and then by the time I get to my room, the contractions were about a minute or two apart.
So this all started, 10, 11 AM to, at that time I… The whole process of labor, I had gave birth at 10:03 PM, so it was just over 12 hours, the whole labor process.
Jamie: Wow. So take us back. You got in the room, you already handed off your other son. What else is going on during that time?
Tracy: So we had football on the TV. It was a football Saturday. I didn’t really care. I was just trying to breathe through the contractions. So we’re in the room. I kinda was just texting on my phone, on my Facebook, Instagram, on my social media, just breathing through the contractions. From the time we got into the room to the time delivery, it was three and a half hours. I feel like it went really fast compared to my first pregnancy.
Jamie: Yeah.
Tracy: I had people reaching out, was like, “Hey, I haven’t seen you on Instagram in your stories today. You okay?” ‘Cause, at that point I’m past due, so everybody’s checking in. I had to do a daily story, “Hey, still pregnant.” And obviously once the contractions started happening, I wasn’t doing as many stories. So I was texting my sister, updating my family.
Jamie: Do you remember when your transition happened?
Tracy: I don’t know if I do. Like I’m just trying to think of that day. Everything was going so fast and the progress was just really fast. I don’t know that I remember.
Jamie: Do you remember those last pushes?
Tracy: I’m sorry if I make anyone jealous, I don’t mean to, but I only pushed once. One push-
Jamie: Stop it
Tracy: … she was out. My doctor’s office was actually not on call that weekend, so I actually had a different doctor. They had warned me about that, was like, “If you go into labor this weekend, there’s a different doctor. She’s really nice. You’ll really like her.” So literally, the doctor that ended up deliver, I spent 15 minutes with her.
She came in, delivered the baby, and left. I was like, “She got paid a lot of money for that 15 minutes.” She was in awe. She’s “Did that just happen?” Once I was ready to push, because the nurse was like, “All right, I’ll be back to check on you.” And she’s “Just let me know if you feel like it’s gonna happen.” So she was gonna leave, and I was like I feel like I gotta poop.” And she’s “I think you’re ready.”
I’m at six centimeters it was 8:30. Ready to go. It was one of those where they’re like, “Okay you haven’t broken your water yet, so we’re probably gonna just break your water to try to speed this process along.” They take this thin, like- stick. I don’t know what else to call it, and just go in there and it pops…
the intensity of your contractions once they break your water go from 0 to 10, because I was at six centimeters breathing through my contractions fine. They were happening every one to three minutes. I was doing okay. But man, once they broke that water, it was pain straight up my back.
I had no back pain prior to that. I had all back labor with my first son, and all that back labor started hitting me, and I was like, “I don’t know if I’m gonna make it at this point.” I was like, “I’m struggling.” I could tell I was starting to lose focus. I was doing so well prior to that, but when they broke that water, it was just a different type of pain.
I tried to go as natural as possible. I was like, “Is it too late to ask for an epidural?” They’re like we need to do it now if we were gonna do it.” And I was like, “Just do it.” At this point my back is on fire. I can’t feel my back. It’s throbbing. They got the anesthesiologist in there to give me the epidural, and he ended up hitting a nerve ’cause I jumped almost off the bed.
It was just like, “Oh my God, did I make the wrong choice? What am I doing?” But he got the epidural in, and literally less than an hour, the baby was already here. And then I’m like, man, I probably should’ve just pushed past that, that hour.
So once I told the nurse that, “Yeah, I feel like I’m gonna poop. I definitely feel my butt is clenching.” She’s like, “Yeah, you’re about to have this baby.” So she checked me. I was definitely dilated. They had the doctor come in to check. She’s we’re just gonna do a practice push. Don’t push, just do a practice push.” I go to do my practice push, and she’s stop.” And she’s “Guys, we gotta get stuff ready.” So then she gets everything ready, and I literally, she’s “All right, on your next contraction, I want you to push.” And I’m, like, pushing, and midway through the push, I took one inhale so I can do a second breath, and she was out.
The doctor just was like, ” that was probably the fastest delivery I’ve ever witnessed once pushing started.” my mom was taking pictures. There’s two pictures because it went so fast. She’s “I’m sorry. I tried.” But yeah, the whole process went so fast, so I only have two pictures.
Jamie: If you had to go back, would you not choose the epidural?
Tracy: I would not. I think if we were to ever get pregnant again, I would continue to train because I do believe a lot of it is mind over matter. I think just the back pain was…
maybe, I don’t know if a better environment, a more supportive environment or having someone who, knows what to do to help me. Yes, my mom’s had three kids naturally, but a midwife or a doula or anything like that, they’re more trained to know okay if you’re having back pain, let’s get you in this position.
Like- … I think if we were to ever get pregnancy, I might look that route to have, because I was training really hard for a natural. I was training. I was training my mind. I was training my body. And obviously the labor went really fast, but I think I definitely would just try not to.
Jamie: What about cord cutting? Was that important, or keeping the placenta, was that important to you?
Tracy: It was something I looked into, like the cord banking and stuff, just for financial reasons- it gets pricey, and we just had to make decisions that were best for our family. But the cutting of the umbilical cord same thing with my first, it was definitely something, my husband, it was a moment for him, it was just something for him.
Jamie: So how was recovery?
Tracy: Was great. I never took any Tylenol after delivery. They kept offering me Tylenol. They’re like, “Here, for your pain.” I was like, “I’m not in any pain.” I wasn’t lying. I just didn’t feel pain. I was like, “I don’t even feel like I gave birth.” It was so ironic and weird, and I truly believe from all of the working out as long as I did through that pregnancy and all of the training, I really do believe that was a big part of it because I don’t know how else to explain it. To feel like you didn’t even give birth the day after you gave birth.
Jamie: Wow. And what was the weight of your daughter when she was born?
Tracy: Sure. So
Jamie: she was- For
Tracy: context … 8 pounds 3 ounces.
Jamie: So not totally small.
Tracy: No.
Jamie: I would say average.
Tracy: Average, yeah. Our son was 8 pounds 6 ounces, so she was only 3 ounces smaller than him.
Jamie: That’s so impressive.
Tracy: And the doctor was crazy, because she had the perfectly round head, like no flat spot, nothing. She’s “I think that’s just because you gave birth so fast she didn’t get caught in-
Jamie: Yeah
Tracy: the canal or anything.” She just popped right out, so it didn’t, affect the head at all.
Jamie: And how did you choose to feed your daughter?
Tracy: So breastfeeding was definitely how I wanted to go. I breastfed my son for 10 and a half months. I got s- sick and was on antibiotics back to back with him, so I kinda naturally dried up with the antibiotics that I was on. But I made it to 10 and a half months, so my goal for her is to make it to a year, and if I make it longer, I do. But I, as long as I still have milk coming out, my goal is to make it a year nursing.
Jamie: And what about your diet during breastfeeding? Do you think you have to eat more?
Tracy: Even in my diet during pregnancy it wasn’t ’til the third trimester that I started eating more because I think my first pregnancy the difference was I had the mentality is I’m eating for two, but, like, when you first get pregnant you’re feeding a little, tiny jelly bean, and it was just like I had to get out of that mindset.
So in this pregnancy it was like, no, you really don’t need to start eating more until the third trimester when the baby starts really growing. So then with nursing it’s just going back to eating and still eating those extra calories, about two, three hun- about 300 extra calories a day than what I would have been eating, but then also focusing on making sure I’m getting healthy fats for my milk production. And, making sure to, so that she thrives too.
Jamie: And mentally how were you during this time?
Tracy: Recovery is where it hit me more in this pregnancy, where the first pregnancy the depression was during the pregnancy of that mentality of, I’m gonna gain the weight again.
With this one I struggled with too. I reached out to a few friends who have multiple kids, and a lot of them kept telling me going from one to two was harder than two to three. Two to three was nothing, one to two was the hardest. It was something about that even number they said, ’cause I have one that has four.
She said, “One to two and three to four were the harder ones. But one was… And then two to three were easier.” She’s “I don’t know why, I can’t explain it.” So mentality wise I definitely got into a depression. I had to reach out to friends and ask for help.
I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. I know other women have gone through it. So I reached out to a friend who also had postpartum depression. I had to start doing the things that I was doing that kept my mind in a good place beginning with. Tracy, get back on a routine. It’s hard to be on a routine when you have a newborn. They’re nursing, 12, 13 hours of the day. So I had to try to get on somewhat of a routine for myself, because I’m a big believer in self-care. Like, how can you take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself?
I had to start pouring into me again and making sure I’m doing things I do daily, is like I do daily gratitude. I do personal development to make sure I’m in- like, putting things into my brain that are good things, and I’m not… it’s not the news, or it’s not, the junk or the negativity on social media.
I’m feeding my mind good things so that good things come out to to help other people. So it’s definitely getting back into that routine, and then making sure, those first few weeks you’re, like, just trying to survive. Especially with nursing. If anyone’s been on a nursing journey, you know those first few weeks, it’s just like you have a newborn attached to you.
Like- … but it’s critical during that part. Yeah. You’re keeping another human being alive off of your milk production. So then it was like, make sure to clean up my eating and things like that.
Jamie: Did journaling help? Is that how you kinda gave gratitude?
Tracy: Yeah, absolutely. So I have this whole process I started. It started actually after I got out of the hospital with COVID. I started journaling. So I have a three-step process. So I don’t try to journal at night.
I found the morning works the best. I write gratitude. I write at least four things I’m grateful for from the day before, and it could be as simple as I’m grateful for an extra hour of sleep. I’m grateful for traveling. I’m grateful and blessed that I get to, I got safely to Ohio, or I’m grateful. Whatever it may be. Like I think of four things from the day before that I’m grateful for. I think of four I am statements. I’m grateful and blessed that I’m the highest version of myself that God wants me to be.
Or I’m grateful, whatever that may be. I’m grateful and blessed that I’m a master communicator, ’cause that’s something I always thrive to work better with, whether it’s my relationship, my friendships. And then I think of things in the future that I’m grateful and blessed and try to speak them into existence.
I really find that helps because it gives me a focus. It’s Tracy these are the things that you want in the future that you’re writing about daily. You’re refocusing on those, and then they’re in your, your they’re in your forefront more. So then it’s easier to not push things aside. Don’t use an excuse, ’cause those are the things you want, and if you use the excuse, you’re not gonna get the things you want.
Jamie: It’s like you’re reprogramming your brain to focus on positivity.
Tracy: Absolutely …
Jamie: it takes work, but it’s well worth it.
Tracy: Yeah. It’s been a year and a half of doing this every day, and,
Jamie: That’s awesome.
Is there anything else you wanna go over about your birth or pregnancy?
Tracy: I think it was just one of those things where it’s like you have to be an advocate for yourself. That’s a big thing I want to te- let people know, is be your own advocate. I believe in any aspect of your life you have to be your own advocate. Do your own research. You don’t have to just believe what someone tells you because that’s what, Everybody’s story is different. You have your own story, and your story could help so many other people, so be your own advocate for you and what you feel is best for you and your family and in your decisions.
Between our first pregnancy and second pregnancy is our friends all know this so I’m like an open book, but I’ll share this. My husband, our first pregnancy, part of the reason it was so ha- part of the reason it was hard is my s- my husband lost a child at 19 days old prior to me.
So he had already lost a child. He got to hold his child, name his child, all of that, and he lost a child at 19 days old. So I think going through the first pregnancy, there was a lot of pressure. He was feeling pressure. “Oh my God, what happens?” And that especially once the baby was born.
So this time around, already having a healthy four-year-old, this time around the pregnancy was different in our relationship. And I think the w- the other thing I share is if you’re in a re- relationship with going through your pregnancy, you have your spouse you’re in a relationship with your significant other there’s gonna be ups and downs in your pregnancy, and it’s okay.
You’re gonna have high highs, you’re gonna have low lows. Your hormones are all over the place, especially while pregnant, especially while postpartum. But don’t let that ruin your relationship. Continue to communicate with one another through those things, because that’s a huge part I feel that has helped my husband and I have a stronger relationship. We’ve never been in a stronger spot, and we’re two kids in.
Jamie: And how old is your daughter now?
Tracy: By the time that this, podcast airs she’ll be… she’s five and a half months now. So by the time sh- this airs she’ll be almost seven months.
Jamie: That’s great. And do you have any plans to have more kids in your 40s?
Tracy: I’m okay with two. But at the same time my husband and I are both, neither of us will go get fixed or whatever the procedure is. We just believe that, if God wants us to have more kids and we’re not careful in our planning of things, then if it happens. But we’re not actively trying, for sure. But we weren’t trying for the others either, they were just surprises.
I’m on my journey of getting back to, and I don’t wanna say my pre-pregnancy because I truly believe each journey is different. This journey for me, it’s all about strength.
It’s like I’m trying to be the strongest version of myself because I have two kids. I’m carrying two kids. I’m carrying groceries. I’m carrying, I have a toddler who’s a mommy’s boy. He’s four. He’s 40 pounds. He still likes to be carried. I’m trying to work on me again to build my strength. Especially at our age. It’s easy that if we’re not taking care of our bodies and we’re not taking care of ourselves, it’s easy as we age for our bodies to feel worse, and I don’t want that. If there’s anything I can do to help make my body feel better make my mind feel better, make, me feel better. So by eating healthy, by working out I just feel better.
And that to me fuels it that I can then take care of my young kids at 41 years old.
Jamie: And what has been your biggest challenge being pregnant in your 40s?
Tracy: I think my biggest challenge is, and I don’t know if it’s a challenge or it was just a frustration, is I was so tired of hearing that I was a geriatric pregnancy.
I heard that for both, because a lot of da- nowadays there’s a lot that at 35 is when they consider that threshold of when you become higher risk. And I was like, “Why am I high? Because of my age?”
And then it’s I really fought for the belief that there’s more research these days. There’s more women having kids at 35, at 40 plus. Like- … some of these researches, like, when were they done? Because, yes, back in the day, 20s, 30s was starting to get a little old back in the day, but we’re not back in the day. We’re in 2023. More women are focusing more on their career, focusing more on what they wanna be in life, and not just getting married, having kids.
I think that’s an amazing thing. Because for me, I thought I was gonna get married and have kids, after high school or after college, it wasn’t in the cards, because I wasn’t gonna settle for less than what I deserved. I, really focused on me, and like when the right person came along, I feel like that was, then great.
As long as we’re willing to work together through the goods and the bads, so that’s gonna be the thing. I don’t know that it was necessarily a challenge, more of a frustration. It’s like- Yeah … I did not wanna be a stereotype. I wanted to be different. I wanted to stand out. I wanted to be an inspiration to show what is possible.
Jamie: Yeah. Do you think we should have a different name or no name at all?
Tracy: I don’t think we should have any name at all. No label. I think in our situations, as we age, there are things that could take effect that could make your pregnancy high risk. But I feel pregnancy should be a case by case basis. Every person’s every person’s body is different.
Jamie: Yeah. I love that. Is there anything you’d recommend that would help prepare someone for pregnancy and birth?
Tracy: I definitely recommend books. So a book I would recommend it was Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, so it was a little bit different of a book. It wasn’t your What to Expect When Expecting, ’cause I feel like that was a good book when I went through my first pregnancy, but for this pregnancy, I wanted to look at things differently.
I would definitely say find a community. There’s so many Facebook communities, so many Instagram communities, so many podcasts nowadays. Find something that you can listen to because whatever it is you’re going through, just don’t go through it alone. If you have questions, ask the questions. Find the community that you feel like you belong in, and reach out. If you hear my story and you’re inspired by something, reach out. I’m an open book. I have no problem sharing anything about my story. I’m a pretty open book.
Jamie: And what advice would you give yourself when you were pregnant, if you could go back?
Tracy: I would just, advice I would give myself if I could go back would just be continue to embrace the journey, continue to live day by day continue to enjoy every moment as if it’s your last pregnancy. And truly embrace your body and what your body is capable of doing through a pregnancy.
Jamie: I love that. And where can our listeners find you on the internet?
Tracy: So you can find me on both Facebook, Instagram. On Facebook, you can look me up as Tracy Gabrielsen. I think you actually have to look me up as Tracy Post Gabrielsen which has my maiden and married name. And then on Instagram, it’s inspired_by_wellness, and I believe you can also search Tracy Gabrielsen and you’ll see my inspired by wellness profile come up as well.
Jamie: Awesome. Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your story and being a wonderful inspiration.
Tracy: Absolutely. Thank you. I’m grateful and blessed to be on this show, so thank you so much. I am very inspired by what you’re doing here for women who are trying or are pregnant in their 40s. I think what you’re doing is absolutely phenomenal, so thank you for what you’re doing.